I was working on a history paper today and found a book from 1826 that seemed promising (though dull) for my topic, on an English Catholic family’s experience moving to France.

And it ended up not really being suitable for my purposes, as it goes. But part of the book is actually devoted to Kenelm, the author’s oldest son…and man, his dad loved him.

Kenelm seems to have had a fairly typical upbringing for a young English gentleman, although he is a bit slow to read. At twelve he’s sent to board at Stoneyhurst College—often the big step towards independence in a boy’s life, as he’ll most likely only see his parents sporadically from now on, and then leave for university.

When he’s sixteen, however, his father moves the whole family to France, so Kenelm gets pulled out of school to be with them again. Shortly after the move, his dad notices that he seems depressed. Kenelm confides in him that he’s been suffering from “scruples” for the last eighteen months—most likely what we’d now call an anxiety disorder.

And his dad is pissed—at the school, because apparently Kenelm had been seeking help there and received none, despite obviously struggling with mental health issues. So his dad takes it seriously. He sets him up to be counseled by a priest—there were no therapists back then—and doesn’t send him away to be boarded again, instead teaching him at home himself.

And his mental health does improve. His dad describes him as well-liked, gentle, pious, kind and eager to please others; at twenty he’s thinking about a career in diplomacy or going into the military—which his dad thinks he is not particularly suited for, considering his favorite pastimes are drawing and reading. He’s excited about his family’s upcoming move to Italy, and he’s been busy learning Italian and teaching it to his siblings.

Henry Kenelm Beste dies of typhus at twenty years, four months, and twenty-five days. That’s how his dad records it. That’s why his dad is telling this story. It’s not an extraordinary story—Kenelm’s story struck me because he sounds so…ordinary, like so many kids today. And he was so, so loved. His dad tried hard to help him compassionately with his mental health at a time where our current knowledge and support systems didn’t exist. You can feel how badly he wanted his son to be remembered and loved, to impress how dearly beloved he was to the people who knew him in life.

I hope he’d be glad to know someone is still thinking of Kenelm over 200 years later.

Anyway, that’s why I’m crying today.

the-redbaron reblogged

princess-of-the-corner

lesvegas

Second order of creamed honey from Ioway Bee Farm finally arrived and while the almond creamed honey was a little underwhelming the blueberry one was almost *too* decadent. Like mortals were not made for something that tastes this good. This honey could corrupt a man from the first spoonful. It helps me to avoid eating half the jar in one go, though.

lesvegas

I’m trying to be but getting testosterone without a family doctor is borderline impossible.

lesvegas

Why are you people talking about my post like stock market speculators.

the-redbaron reblogged

phantomrose96

doubleca5t

hrunting asked:

My 65 year old white cis straight republican trump-voting father uses goodreads, mostly to rate books about WWII and to keep track of which Isaac Asimov novels he's rereading. And then... one time... to give Gideon the Ninth 4/5 stars. The man won't acknowledge that I'M a lesbian, but okay.

doubleca5t answered:

...... I need to talk to this man about that book. I need to know what he got out of it

hrunting

I was wrong, I looked back and he gave it a perfect 5/5.

hrunting

Walter's Book Review:

doubleca5t

This man really looked at Tamsyn and said "lesbianism be damned this girl can write some good SFF"

the-redbaron reblogged

rrivendell

filmnoirsbian

My dad has a massive vegetable garden and it is his life. Whenever I ask how things are going, he tells me about the garden. Periodically he will text me a picture of the things he's harvested and ask when I'm coming to pick them up. And for a while, the biggest bit of garden gossip has been his nemesis, the gopher. This gopher was consistently ruining his day by pilfering the best of everything just before my dad could harvest it. Anytime I talked to him, all he had to tell me about was "that damned gopher." He dreamt about killing the gopher, his truest enemy. He tried to train the dog to hunt the gopher, but the dog is a pacifist. He led some of the barn cats to the holes, but the barn cats have unionized and refused his offered rate. He then laid no-kill traps (can't risk having poison near the crops) with eventual gophercide in mind, but then suddenly he was faced with a cute and terrified animal and didn't have the heart. He released it. "He was so scared, he'll never come back." The gopher was back the next day, with a vengeance. That was some weeks ago. Today, my dad sent me pictures of his garden, and I saw a squash gently laid by the gopher's hole, like a package left on the doorstep. I said "Dad, what's that squash doing there by the gopher hole?" He said "Oh, he likes squash best." In an effort to appease the gopher, my father now gives him a little squash everyday, like leaving an offering for a garden spirit. This apparently works well as a compromise; the gopher has stopped stealing, content to have his meals delivered to his door.

the-redbaron reblogged

glados-boyfriend-girlfriend

maydaycatz

the-redbaron reblogged

fuckyeahwarriorwomen

gorejock

“They asked me to tell you what it was like to be twenty and pregnant in 1950 and when you tell your boyfriend you’re pregnant, he tells you about a friend of his in the army whose girl told him she was pregnant, so he got all his buddies to come and say, “We all fucked her, so who knows who the father is?” And he laughs at the good joke…. What was it like, if you were planning to go to graduate school and get a degree and earn a living so you could support yourself and do the work you loved—what it was like to be a senior at Radcliffe and pregnant and if you bore this child, this child which the law demanded you bear and would then call “unlawful,” “illegitimate,” this child whose father denied it … What was it like? […] It’s like this: if I had dropped out of college, thrown away my education, depended on my parents … if I had done all that, which is what the anti-abortion people want me to have done, I would have borne a child for them, … the authorities, the theorists, the fundamentalists; I would have born a child for them, their child. But I would not have born my own first child, or second child, or third child. My children. The life of that fetus would have prevented, would have aborted, three other fetuses … the three wanted children, the three I had with my husband—whom, if I had not aborted the unwanted one, I would never have met … I would have been an “unwed mother” of a three-year-old in California, without work, with half an education, living off her parents…. But it is the children I have to come back to, my children Elisabeth, Caroline, Theodore, my joy, my pride, my loves. If I had not broken the law and aborted that life nobody wanted, they would have been aborted by a cruel, bigoted, and senseless law. They would never have been born. This thought I cannot bear. What was it like, in the Dark Ages when abortion was a crime, for the girl whose dad couldn’t borrow cash, as my dad could? What was it like for the girl who couldn’t even tell her dad, because he would go crazy with shame and rage? Who couldn’t tell her mother? Who had to go alone to that filthy room and put herself body and soul into the hands of a professional criminal? – because that is what every doctor who did an abortion was, whether he was an extortionist or an idealist. You know what it was like for her. You know and I know; that is why we are here. We are not going back to the Dark Ages. We are not going to let anybody in this country have that kind of power over any girl or woman. There are great powers, outside the government and in it, trying to legislate the return of darkness. We are not great powers. But we are the light. Nobody can put us out. May all of you shine very bright and steady, today and always.”

— Ursula K. Le Guin (via nightkitchentarot)

the-redbaron reblogged

uselessundertalefacts

carlyraejepsans

nyktoon asked:

Wanted to send this for a while but I'm stoked that you're also on the "the fallen human is meant to be named the player's/your name" train. Imo it's kind of a shame that we discovered Chara as "the true name," because I think it allows for a mental separation between the player and their actions in a way that dilutes the experience of Undertale. Some people have this mentality that it's not you, the player, doing all those terrible things -- it's Chara! Chara is possessing Frisk! When, no, Frisk is the vessel for the player. The remnants of Chara's memory/determination may be there as well, as evidenced by narration in the Geno route, but my take is that the part of Chara that is lingering is shaped by the players actions, too. It's nice to know the fallen human's true name so that we can talk about Chara as an in-universe character, but I think who Chara was and the "demon" that takes their form at the end of the Geno route are actually separate things -- because that figure at the end is a manifestation of the player's/your will; it's the culminating evidence of your actions, and not something that exists all along whether you play a Geno route or not. It's you. That's how I think about it, at least.

Also... inspecting the coffin of the 1st human and seeing your own name on it? That moment slaps and it loses its potency when you don't use your own name on the first run, if you're going in not knowing the lore.

carlyraejepsans answered:

seconding pretty much everything you said here. the only thing I'd add is that, in my interpretation, chara is meant to represent not just You you, but "you" as in "the intended audience for undertale when toby had no idea it would blow up like this", which is specifically RPG fans.

undertale is a commentary/prank call/love letter to that genre, after all, and the key of its message lies in challenging that violence, that unquestioned reality that you should mow down enemies to advance with the game. chara falling into the underground after running away from child abuse, the "kill or be killed" mentality that generated from that, their idea of helping monsterkind involving 1) excruciating self-sacrifice, 2) destroying humanity to let monsters rule the surface... i think chara's meant to symbolize the state of RPG players before then. violence being taken for granted, and for a good reason! it's not like most games gave you a peaceful alternative.

but... the plan fails. you don't kill, so you get killed. simple right? that's how it was always going to go. game's over... until it's not.

because the game's just beginning.

and here is why I'm such a big defender of the "the last fallen human is a reincarnation of the first and frisk in the pacifist run specifically is what is still standing after the ghost of that first child is put to rest" theory. after YOUR grief and violence and unfinished business are put to rest. until YOUR notion (as an RPG player) that "it's kill or be killed" is proven wrong. i think that's why it's so important that flowey is framed alongside you as a mirror to ye average player. and i think THAT'S why we only learn frisk's name in a pacifist run after the asriel fight, where we literally dig up asriel and chara's memories and exorcise them from the story, finally putting them at rest. it's also why the merch keeps calling frisk "the human" even though there are so many bigger spoilers everywhere, and why it doesn't matter if the neutral endings don't make sense (where does the human go. where did they get the monster soul if flowey shattered asgore's? did they cross the barrier? are they dead?) because they're not really endings are they? flowey says so himself "don't you have ANYTHING better to do?"

IT'S USING THE MECHANIC OF RESETTING A GAME TO REPRESENT HAUNTING. THE PLAYER IS THE GHOST, THE GAME IS WHAT IT HAUNTS. that's why the pacifist ending is the True Ending! because as long as you have unfinished business (remember, chara died by the hand of the same humans that abused them. violence was their world and that world broke them), you'll keep haunting the story!

as for the chara sprite, i also agree that it's something we can only see in genocide, and I don't think it's a coincidence that in the pacifist run and the once upon a time cutscene they always have their face covered. chara IS you. that's the whole plotwist of the entire goddamn game!! of course, they had to have their own characteristics and quirks and life inside the game, in the same way that you don't live in a world with pokemons in it, but the MC are still supposed to represent you and have your name. there's an inevitable seam between where you, individual player, connects to "you" your representation in the game itself, for the simple reason that the game can't read your mind. as long as you do the right thing, that seam blends into nothing.

during a genocide run though? sans said it best: "the more you hurt, the easier it is to distance from yourself". other characters actively point out your lack of emotion and weird distant behavior. the more you kill, the more you pull on that seam until it rips apart completely. THAT'S why you meet "chara" face to face at the end. you completely estranged them from yourself.

and now things are out of your hands.

don't say they didn't warn ya

the-redbaron reblogged

chrystalrenegade

eminem’s got about lyrics about how the secret service interviewed him, so a journalist FOIA’d info about eminem from the secret service to fact check his rap

it turns out the secret service investigated eminem because of lyrics threatening trump and ivanka

and they really did interview him

and when one of the secret service agents started reading the threatening lyrics out loud eminem started rapping along

and they noted that

@afloweroutofstone

https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/6515270-LEOPOLD-Secret-Service-FOIA-Eminem.html enjoy

afloweroutofstone

I’m sorry to report that this is a W for Eminem

the-redbaron reblogged

farawyns

la-noche-del-lemur

Horizon Zero Dawn….that’s it…that’s the game.

the-redbaron reblogged

paintedladyallura

foreverial

during the quarantine, my hair has gotten very long….

my beard has gotten medium because i shaved it but it was very long as welll…

as for my penis length…. well i can’t say that there’s ladies in the room

thank you dear. *waits for her to leave*

*watches to make sure she is gone*

*closes the door gently and turns around to face the reader*

my penis has gotten very long as well.

the-redbaron reblogged

tree-woven

dalishious

Anonymous asked:

Can you give some examples of Blackwall’s best traits? The fandom has been kinda :/ towards him lately

dalishious answered:

Truly repentant for his wrongdoings, and actually acts on this by a) turning himself in to save the life of one of his men who arguably should also be sentenced regardless because “just following orders” is a bullshit excuse but anyway, and b) if spared, dedicating his life post-Corypheus towards rehabilitation and support for incarcerated people
Protective of and devoted to the people he’s close to, especially Sera for whom he’s straight up “I guess I’m your dad now”
One of my favourite conversations with him is when he says “I have to admit, I thought you would be human” and immediately checks his prenotions, apologizes for it without any prompting and learns from it
Selfless to the point of straight up crossing into self-sacrificing, directly stating that he is willing to die for the Inquisitor even
Generally good-natured, valorous, honourable, empathetic, forgiving, optimistic, humble, and surprisingly charming

the-redbaron reblogged

jomeimei421

chara (pacifist run)

the-redbaron reblogged

luftballons99

“I am aware that this request is fundamentally selfish. I can offer no justification for it, no argument in its favor. It is simply the outcome I desire to see the most.”

the-redbaron reblogged

tree-woven

arlathandalen

Party banter I needed — part 3

Sera: Stupid, shoe-filling, venatori-pissed, sand! I- I hate it! I hate this! Why would anyone want a bloody fort out here?

Inquisitor: Griffon Wing Keep has a strategic location for Cullen’s soldiers. I’ll try to keep this journey short, I promise, Sera.

Solas: For once, I have to agree with Sera. This environment is extremely unpleasant.

Sera: Yeah? And for once, I agree with him agreeing with me… Wait, that was wrong… No, it wasn’t… So yeah! I agree with Solas agreeing! The more of us against you, the bigger the chance you’ll feel all guilty, and you’ll take us back to Skyhold, or a city—a town at the very least.

Cassandra (if in party): I hate to say this Inquisitor, but the Western Approach is really starting to… frustrate me.

Dorian (if in party): And here I was, thinking I was the only one clever around. The relief of seeing I’m not is unimaginable, I assure you…

Blackwall (if in party): Add one more to the; this place is shit and I want to go home, team.

Cole (if in party): The sand makes my eyes hurt, and the wind always wants to pull my hat off… I like cities better too…

Vivienne (if in party): I gladly help the Inquisition in anyway I can, dear, but this place is awful. Perhaps we should listen to Sera and Solas for an unusual change?

Varric (if in party): Okay, if they’re allowed to complain, so am I, right? Because I have a lot of complaining to do. I feel as if I have the right to complain with this amount of sand in my boots.

Iron Bull (if in party): My horns are itchy, my feet slide two steps back in the sand for every step I take, and I haven’t seen that dragon since we came here. I don’t want to be like that, Boss… But this place is a shit.

Inquisitor: Wait, everyone is against-… we’re here on important, Inquisition, business! It’s not as if I like this desert. I thought you all saw the value of the work we’re doing here.

Solas: We do, Inquisitor, but… this sand...

Sera: Next gurn we see, I’m tying a rope around, and forcing it to give me a ride somewhere not sandy and not warm.