I keep a pistol in my pussy. Call that my inner piece.

Nah tumblr I think I'll pass on that this time around

Friend I hate to tell you this but it ain't getting many more

Steve will eat 64 whole ass rotisserie chickens and still be hungry by the end of the day

math problem ass game protagonist

WHY THE FUCK IS IT HONEY I PUT A FUCKING STEVE GIF

FUCK THIS WEBSITE

thanks but i have under 300 followers on here and i posted this 3 hours ago lmao this shit aint goin nowhere fast

STOP IT

You might not see me again...

Regret Nothing

The Power of the Hat

The Power of the Hat

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A snack fishing game for children at a mall. The price to play is around 58-68 RMB (9-11 USD), depending on the child's height.

new tarot card "fuck your entire life" and its a guy being attacked by devils and flaming skulls and wild animals and screaming and fire everywhere

so yesterday (april fools day) my friend in a group call was like “hey my gf (another mutual friend) is pregnant and actually has been for five months but we didn’t know. and we’re having the baby in July” and everyone i know was collectively like “haha yeah fuck you” and then he started pulling out dated ultrasounds with his gf’s name on them and stuff and the correct weight/size for a five month old baby and we were like “wow you put a lot of work into this” and then he got his gf on the call and she was like “yup i don’t really look pregnant but i am!” and we were like haha wow you’re both really going for it huh.

anyway april fools day ended and we were like hey dude that was a good one and he was like no it’s for real i just thought it would be very funny to tell you on april fools day

Girls Scouts encounter Bigfoot the most frequently. Part of their oath is to keep him a secret because he’s very kind and makes up 30% of their revenue due to his fervent love for thin mints.

As a Girl Scout leader, I am telling you that this is NOT true, and any former girl scout that says it is, should think about what they are saying and what oaths they may have sworn in the past

🐶Audio on🔊

a karmic cycle

Thousands of starlings over Rome. Source

someone kicked the cable on the skybox and it’s just static

“the sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.”

Study buddies

(via)

(snort) :)

discovering absolutely shocking things about one of our new kittens

hey do u guys wanna see my cat

okay so update: his sister chispa too

this is the most important addition to a post I’ve ever seen in my life