i wish somebody looked at me like the way he looked at that onion

That final scream

Where’s his Oscar?

straight coworker keeps calling me sassy…. like just call me a faggot and go

I actually just snorted out blood

I hate this

moral of the story: mind ya business 😂

LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO 😭😭😭😭😭😭

Daniel Radcliffe and Matthew Lewis at WWF in 2000.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone Cold Steve Austin

reblog before december 17th

But they’re not female presenting

It’s a lady showing you some nipples. How much more female presenting can it get?

Me thinking about that ass

Vegetables are delicious, u guys just don’t know how to cook

Big facts.

the gender neutral term for landlord or landlady is parasite

you know you're a 90s kid when your vaccinations were mandatory and no one in your class got measles

i always thought of a king sized bed as being a bit bigger than a queen, but now that i have one, i can tell you that a king sized bed is an absurdity. i can sprawl out, and my husband can sprawl out, and the cat can sprawl out, and none of us are touching. i reach out in the night, and find only pillows and plush walruses. i reach further and eventually find his elbow. he rolls over the comforters to try and find me. “i have crossed oceans of bed to be with you,” he says. there is a vast expanse of bed untouched, unmapped, unexplored. the cat is still trying to sleep on my face.

This is the opposite of a creepypasta

It’s a soothingpasta. Let’s make more of them