a little obsessed with the story of how giacomo casanova was sharing a gondola with this random guy who suddenly started having a seizure, and casanova had some medical training so he stabilized the guy until the guy’s physician could be called. and then the physician bled the guy and put mercury ointment on him, which caused everything to get worse to the point that a priest was called to administer the guy’s last rites, but then casanova stepped in and washed off the mercury ointment despite the doctor yelling at him not to. and the guy recovered and turned out to be super rich and powerful and in gratitude bankrolled casanova’s debauchery for years until casanova got himself sentenced to five years in jail for blasphemy. also at one point he got shot through the hand in a duel and doctors wanted to amputate it but he said no it’ll be fine and it Was

so what i’m saying is a medical procedural show where the main character is giacomo casanova and he doesn’t want to be solving these medical mysteries but goddamn if he isn’t the only fucker in this room who knows how to not kill the patient. so i guess my date with this prussian chick will just have to wait

this pitch would have absolutely killed at the bbc between 1991 and 2005 btw

interesting fact i have titanium in my spine

Fun Fact!

Titanium not only is crazy durable, but it noo magnet! Thas wy Dock chok jjiun spi; surgyr ad pater noster, qui es in cœlis; sanctificetur nomen tuum: Adveniat regnum tuum; fiat voluntas tua, sicut in cœlo, et in terra. Panem nostrum cotidianum da nobis hodie: Et dimitte nobis debita nostra, sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris: et ne nos inducas in tentationem: sed libera nos a malo.

dude got hit with the ol’ Lorum Ipsem beam😞

Fun fact! Titanium is often used for medical implants because it's *dodges lorem ipsum beam* because it's strong, nontoxic, won't corrode inside the body, and best of all, *dodges* bone will directly grow onto it! This is called "osseointegration" and it means that your titanium artificial hip, dental implant, or whatever will have greater *dodges* greater mechanical stability and will ARRRGGH! aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit!

helping allowed. im curious how precise Tumblr Poll Intuition can get

i’m going to kdxjdhdjhddjjdhs

TWO??? Having a private jet at all is bad enough on its own but why the fuck does she need two of them???

TIL the first known case of “dying from laughing” involved the greek man called Chrysippus, who, after giving figs to his donkey, cried out “Now give the donkey a drink of pure wine to wash down the figs”, had a fit of laughter afterwards and died.

via reddit.com

pretty funny i guess

had to be there

Translation is always tricky, but I remember this slightly different:

Figs were an imported delicacy at the time, and the donkey just managed to eat them (without being given any on purpose). Seeing a donkey eating several times their own value in figs, the philosopher looked to his servant who might have been standing there either in shock, despair, or both, and said something along the lines of “Oh don’t just stand there. Get him some (undiluted) wine to wash the figs down with”. With (undiluted) wine also being an expensive drink.

I feel like that context makes it funnier. Basically like standing in front of your burning mansion with a butler, meeting their eyes, and telling them that you still feel a little chilly and ask them if they could put on an extra log or two.

idk what’s funnier, the burning house situation, or being the butler as you watch your master laugh so hard at his own joke that he fully fucking dies.

Everyone's all "i'll fuck your dad" until they realize that means they'd have to fuck someone over 40. and those people are weak.

Glad you liked this one dad-pegger

For those still struggling with the sentence, let me rephrase it:

The sliding of home prices in Beijing increases the alarm of the Chinese property sector

The verb 'fan' means blowing air onto something. Usually in the context of 'fanning the flames' to make a fire grow, which is the metaphor the headline is using (the alarm in the property sector being the figurative fire).

Information Wall (with Hat)

a wasp made this post

when u rompin around with ya pot

when u romp too hard and get ya head stuck in the pot 

when ya hubris is ya downfall and there is no release 

Makig a sandwich to bring to school tomorrow can someone reblog with a filling to finish the ssndwich ill go first ok

Bread

bread

(thats not allowed. We start with bread once more. Its okay, take your time.)

Bread

garlic powder

Sliced garlic

(thats a lot of garlic. Why dont we try something else)

…bread

(Please think before reblogging)

Water

(Hey.)

cheese

cheese

cheese

cheese

(I appreciate that but can someone else who is not a mouse take over)

Ham so much ham

(this is beginning to resemble a sandwich :))

MORE CHEASE

Add the mousetrap to the sandwich

(ok but i dont take kindly to being ordered around)

Lint

(What ever. Christ. im finishing the sandwich)

Bread

Why is thus anonymous

ok fine go ahead

SANDWICH CLOSED EVERYBODY GET DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

the beautiful original post by @garaks-padded-bra can be found here, with additions from @acrowbyanyothername, @starfleetshrimps, @imhaley, @ronzyponyo, @funnywormz, @deepestturtlepielover, @willowandthesagaofgayyearning, @summer-azure, and @spacetronomyfan

(as always, omagpies stuff drops on Patreon @/magpiecrown one month in advance, and there’s already a hefty backlog awaiting everyone 💗)

.

good work everyone

That's because this is Silmarillion

Sketches 🕊️ °˖➴

i love you fan translators i love you fan translators i love you fan translators i love you fan translators i love you fan translators i love you fan translators i love you fan translators i love you fan translators i love you fan translators i love you fan translators i love you fan translators i love you fan translators i love you fan translators i love you fan translators i love you fan translators i love you fan translators i