Hi, would you mind reading this?
Okay, it’s genuinely upsetting me that people are calling Felicity’s relationship with Det. Malone a symptom of PTSD. I don’t understand why that is the general consensus within a good part of the Olicity fandom given that symptoms of PTSD are:
- Behavioral: agitation, irritability, hostility, hypervigilance, self-destructive behavior, or social isolation
- Psychological: flashback, fear, severe anxiety, or mistrust
- Mood: loss of interest or pleasure in activities, guilt, or loneliness
- Sleep: insomnia or nightmares
- Also common: emotional detachment or unwanted thoughts (Mayo Clinic)
I am NOT saying this is the only way PTSD manifests. I AM saying that Felicity having a relationship after her traumatic event is NOT A SYMPTOM OF PTSD.
IT APPEARS TO BE A COPING STRATEGY/MECHANISM.
“Coping strategies refer to the specific efforts, both behavioral and psychological, that people employ to master, tolerate, reduce, or minimize stressful events. Two general coping strategies have been distinguished: problem-solving strategies are efforts to do something active to alleviate stressful circumstances, whereas emotion-focused coping strategies involve efforts to regulate the emotional consequences of stressful or potentially stressful events…An additional distinction that is often made in the coping literature is between active and avoidant coping strategies. Active coping strategies are either behavioral or psychological responses designed to change the nature of the stressor itself or how one thinks about it, whereas avoidant coping strategies lead people into activities (such as alcohol use) or mental states (such as withdrawal) that keep them from directly addressing stressful events .” (x)
I am saying that in this instance Felicity’s SYMPTOMS and a COPING STRATEGIES appear to be two very different things. Felicity is in a relationship because she’s trying to move forward from Havenrock. She’s quite possibly avoiding dealing with the fallout by playing house. She is quite possibly looking for comfort/security in Det. Malone, and thus relies on him for emotional support.
SHE IS TRYING TO COPE (Is it necessarily healthy, no - but that’s another post).
By calling it a symptom, it looks like the fandom is trying to undermine, devalue, taint, and erase Felicity’s relationship with Det. Malone (not saying everyone is doing this). Not only is it erasing Felicity’s agency and choice to partake in a romantic relationship, but it’s missing a significant point in Felicity’s storyline.
If you do not like the relationship because it makes you uncomfortable to see Felicity in a relationship with someone else other than Oliver, that is completely fine. If you do not like the relationship because you want Felicity to not only be valued as a love interest, kudos. If you do not like the relationship because Felicity is not in a good place to be in a relationship, that is swell. If you do not like the relationship because you can see that Felicity is hiding behind it to avoid processing her guilt, isolation, detachment, loneliness, and depressive thoughts, that is great.
But please, recognize that a romantic relationship is one way Felicity is trying to cope with her PTSD.
(P.S. If I got any of this wrong, please come and talk to me about it. I’m seriously not trying to step on anyone’s toes, it just seems there’s some miscommunication about what a “symptom” looks like.)
