i’ve had this blog for over 2 years straight now,     and i’ve developed her so much to the point where i’ve really gotten away from my ideas of her when i first started this blog,     so i want a fresh start to finally break away from all of that.    i’ll be continuing all my current threads over on that blog,     so if you have a reply for me,    pls tag @kanimal on the post!   

theo has been FOCUSED on a video game for a while now,     too caught up in what he’s doing.         it’s why he only offered her a greeting,     not looking over to her as she returned.        (   why should he expect to be greeted with something so DIFFERENT about her?   )         it isn’t until she says something that requires his gaze to turn to her that he does,      eyes falling on the sweater first for a moment.        ❝    that’s mi—–    ❞        SHOCK cuts him off as he catches sights of the change in her:     the hair that she has CHOPPED OFF.        theo falls silent, pausing the game and resting back in his seat as he simply STARES.         lips part and curve up just the slightest bit.        it’s different on her,     certainly, but that is extremely far from a bad thing.        it looks beautiful on her,     but for now,     he’s confused.        WHY the sudden change?        ❝    —–     what the hell did you do to your hair?    ❞       the words are followed with a chuckle to show it’s not a negative response.        his smile grows and he won’t say it yet,     but the look in his eyes is clear    —–     HE LOVES IT.

❝    yeah,    i am impatient,     but this is the kind of shit that happens when i don’t make progress fast enough,     ❞     he points out.        ❝    this is only encouraging it,    tracy.    ❞         theo just wants to be FIXED.       eyes open,     finding some relief in her words.        ❝    —–    i’m proud of me for that too,    ❞     he admits.         ❝    i hate actually believing it.         it makes me feel horrible and it’s not what i’m usually like…     at all.         but i’m not one to let things stay bad,    so    —–    i have something to work on.    ❞         he’s INSECURE in who he is right now,     but that isn’t how he wants to be.        he HAS to improve.       (   though,     all of that is much easier said than done.   )        ❝    i know you believe that.         i’m trying to believe it too.    ❞         eyes roll and he lets out a scoff.          ❝    well,      it is routine and that’s who we are.        or…     who i WAS.    ❞          he is actively trying to change it.          ❝    it doesn’t justify calling the cops.    ❞        his body turns again to look back at her and his brows raise on his forehead.         ❝     i just want to know why they had to do it.        we were fine.         i’m not going to FIGHT that person.         i just want to talk to them.    ❞         but if she truly thinks it’s a bad idea,     he won’t go against her.         ❝    my alien queen?        i think i like the sound of that.       —–    and i think we found our next halloween costumes,    ❞     he teases.         eyes shut once more and he lets himself melt into the SOFTNESS of her touch,     knowing that it says more than her words can.         he understands.        he is the same.          the man who is so good with words can’t express the level of LOVE he has for this woman,     so he lets himself read this touch.          it’s LOVE.         ❝    i know,    baby,    ❞     he whispers.         ❝    that means more to me than anything.    ❞         his fingers move to trail over the hand that slides against his chest,      replicating the emotion she gives him to tell her how much he loves her too.       eyes flick to the door for a moment before relaxing and shutting his eyes.       ❝    okay,    ❞     he mumbles.        ❝    i appreciate it,      trace.       i don’t want to deal with anyone but you tonight.    ❞         he doesn’t have the energy or the mental capacity to put on a good face for people.         he NEEDS tracy to be the one to handle it.        ❝   really,     i appreciate it.        i know that’s out of your comfort zone.    ❞         but she does it to take care of him and that means everything.         theo lets out a slow sigh as the conversation continues,       eyes falling shut and shaking his head.         she has a point.         there is a lot he does for her and that is what they’re SUPPOSED to do.          soon enough,         their money isn’t going to belong to them individually.         it’s going to be both of theirs.           that’s the direction this relationship is going in and he wants that,      but in the meantime,       he is aware of what she has sacrificed for him tonight.         ❝     what if i want to talk about it?    ❞    he asks quickly.         ❝    this is BOTHERING me,     tracy.          i know you say it’s okay and i know you want to do it and i know it’s like me buying you stuff all the time,      but it doesn’t feel that way.         you bailed me out because you HAD to.          i doubt this is really what you wanted to put your money toward because you didn’t want me in this position.    ❞        his head shakes again and a frown pulls at his mouth.        ❝    if you don’t want to talk about this,    fine,     we won’t,      but it’s going to be on my mind.    ❞

❝    like a team,    ❞     he repeats instantly,     head nodding firmly in confirmation.          a short laugh falls from his mouth and brows raise at her comment.          ❝    i was about to say no,      but now that you put it like that…    ❞     he trails off,      lips curling into a smirk.         ❝    you do have to pay rent and your lips can do that perfectly.    ❞         whether it’s through just a kiss or something MORE,      he will be thrilled.      (   admittedly,    though,     he would prefer that    ‘   something more.   ’   )        a hand comes up to trail his thumb over her cheek,     nodding slowly and taking a deep breath.        ❝    i will,    ❞     he promises.          ❝    whatever you need to hear when this actually happens,     i will tell you.         all i’m going to want is for you to feel better.    ❞        he means that SINCERELY.         eyes roll at her and a chuckle slips out of his mouth,      but his smile grows warm and genuine when she returns the words.        ❝    —–    wow,     that’s so lame,    ❞      he mocks back.        theo takes a deep breath and releases it slowly,      giving a shrug of his shoulders and nodding.        ❝    i think you’re right.         i think you had given in and talked to me the next day,      i wouldn’t have had to own up to what i felt.         i could have kept hiding it,    but…     you made me face it.         i needed that to get us here,    ❞     he admits.        ❝    i like how it happened too.    ❞        they’re here because he had to WAIT for it.         they’re here because she forced him to really get to know her and recognize that she is such a phenomenal person.         once that happened,       he had no choice but to fall for her.         this was inevitable.        the corners of his mouth raise into a smile,     WARMTH spreading through his body under her touch.         ❝    no,    not with you.        i never expected that,     but i’m not selfish with you.    ❞        does he still have some selfishness with her?        of course.         that’s who he is.        but he treats her more equally and selflessly than he ever has with another person.        he is falling for her HARD.        his head tilts as she speaks,    brows raising slightly and a smile creeping up over his lips.        ❝    you know,      i think you’re right about that.         this feels more successful than anything i’ve had with anyone else.     so you’re right.        this is success.          it’s just not usually the success i set out for.    ❞        this success revolves around happiness and love.         ❝    even if there’s something about you i don’t like,     i’ll still like who you are as a person.         besides,      i don’t think it’ll happen.         you’ve found a way to make me fall for EVERYTHING    —–     even the things i wouldn’t normally like.    ❞        that’s why he went after her in the first place.         he was looking for something DIFFERENT.        as his eyes lock with hers,      he catches something in them,      but he doesn’t quite know what it means.           all he can see is that this is REAL.         what she feels for him is so genuine and it makes his heart RACE.        (  it unknowingly forces the same look into his eyes    —–     theo could fall in love with her too.   )         ❝    an A+?          hmm…     i’m looking for an A++.         any extra credit opportunities?    ❞     he teases.         his smile softens along with his grip on her.          ❝    good,     then i’ll keep doing it.        i’m just trying to give you a little preview of what is waiting for you when you get back from class.    ❞         theo darts his tongue out to wet his lips at her whispered words,      finding the phrase so SWEET in his mouth.           he loves calling her that more than he ever anticipated.        ❝    my girl,    ❞    he repeats,     INTOXICATED by the way it rolls off his tongue so easily.          his lips linger against hers and attempt to chase them despite the way she pulls back,      though it doesn’t last long.          the smile that he had forced off his lips returns too quickly,     her giggles making every inch of his body feel warm with EUPHORIA.         ❝    i’m still trying to figure that out,     ❞     he mumbles,        eyes shutting and his hand gently tangling in her hair as she presses her lips to his neck.          holding her like this is HEAVEN.        his breathing works to slow its pace,      relaxing against the bed and clutching her gently in his arms.         ❝    we both suffered,    ❞    he reminds.        ❝    but not anymore.        no,    we finally get to kiss someone that makes us happy     —–     that will KEEP making us happy.       that’s all that matters.    ❞

            ❝       tracy    ,        listen  to  me .       it’s    - - -          it’s  all  going  to  be  fine  ,    okay    ?       ❞

      @venomclaws·     ❤     for  LYDIA  MARTIN .

eyes narrow at her and he allows his lips to curve into a smirk,    shaking his head slowly.       ❝    i don’t believe you,    ❞     he speaks simply.       theo gives a shrug of his shoulders,     tilting his head with an amused expression painting his features.       ❝    it’s a good thing i don’t like surprises then,    huh?      guess i’ll have to be here more often.    ❞      a short chuckle falls past his lips,     nodding quickly.       ❝    yeah,     they would.       just another reason to add it to the menu.       i’m here plenty,     i’m probably contributing quite a bit to the money you guys make here,     so i deserve it.    ❞        with the drinks he actually PAYS for,     that is.          brows shoot up at her comment,    a taunting look crossing his features.        ❝    you’d drink the raeken,    ❞    he repeats.       ❝    —–    tracy,    that sounds a lot more sexual than you meant it.    ❞       but he’s still taking it that way.        the playful smile can’t be wiped off his features.       ❝    alright,    you make a great point.       i guess i’ll just have to keep coming back to have it then.    ❞

❝     i am making progress,     ❞      he agrees.         ❝     but clearly,      it hasn’t been fast enough if this is where i ended up tonight.         i know you’re telling me not to think about it, but there was a lot i could have and SHOULD have done differently.       i’m not an animal.        i can go against instinct.    ❞        he’s owning up to the fact that he’s messed up.         theo truly wants to make progress.       ❝    i’m trying not to,    baby,     but you understand why it’s not easy to just NOT beat myself up right now,    right?       it hurts.       it’s hard.    ❞         when one thing after another keeps hitting him,     it gets more difficult to deal with or ignore.          he’s DWELLING.          however,      tracy being here makes it easier to move past than if he was alone.         ❝    i still don’t know how it got out of hand.          i don’t know who there would have called the cops.         it was a ROUTINE fight,    ❞    he scoffs.         ❝    —–    what if i found out who called them?        should i deal with that?    ❞         will that CREATE more problems for him or solve it?          he won’t fight them.        he just might have a few words to say.         the lightness in her voice and the giggle that falls past her lips makes everything feel EASIER.         his body visibly relaxes and his lips can finally curl into a gentle smile.          ❝    the aliens are going to team up with us?   ❞     he chuckles.        ❝    damn.        that’s the dream.        let’s hope that happens soon.        we can all take over the world together.    ❞        it will feel a hell of a lot better than getting beaten by it constantly.          he knows her words are genuine and that is something.         he is struggling to believe in himself,      so having her support means the WORLD.       theo turns slightly in her grasp to look at her.        ❝    YOU are what i need,    ❞     he speaks certainly.        ❝    i just need you,    tracy.        i need your love and your support and that is the best thing you can give me.        that’s the only thing that will come close to fixing this,    okay?      just give me that.      focus on THAT.    ❞        she doesn’t need to go above and beyond.       does he appreciate it?       of course.       but he wants her to focus on just loving him.        beyond that,      nothing can fix him but his own desire to be helped.       his head nods and he turns to face forward again,     backing up against her to get her to hold him tighter.         this is all he can bring himself to do.       ❝    all i need is to stay here with you ALONE,    ❞     he insists,       though his voice stays quiet.          people are likely wondering what happened;      he can’t deal with them.         a smile returns to his lips once more,      tugging just barely at the edges as he squeezes her hand again.         ❝    you’re right about that.        it goes both ways.          we can make each other feel safe like this,    ❞     he whispers.        theo never realized how truly comfortable he is being held like this until she did it.        lately,      it’s what he’s wanted the most.         eyes close and his skin tingles underneath her lips.         it relaxes him,      but it doesn’t fix things.         theo still feels as though he needs to solve this;     he needs to pay her back so he’s not RUINING her life.           he has been dragging her down with him recently,     hasn’t he?          she may not see it like that,     but he does.        (   and he’s too selfish to let her go.   )         his head shakes and a frown tugs at his mouth.          ❝    that’s different.         that money isn’t mine and i have it to spare.         you’re paying for school,    ❞     he notes.          ❝    —–     i can’t talk you into letting me do this,      can i?    ❞

                  ‘   where to even begin ?   ‘   heather’s voice was tinted with the humble sigh of someone inflicting charity,     helping the poor and the needy and the ugly with her wise words,    guiding them through the battlefield of high school that her hands had so artfully crafted.   but the sneer that sat on her features,    the cruel beast that left its mark,    was not one of decency   -   she was being cruel for the simple reason that she could be,    and anyone close had to endure her snide comments.     in truth,    the girl was rather average to look at,     with tatty clothes but almost - pretty features.     heather saw potential   ;   best to crush it or control it before it could threaten her.   ‘   i’ve already started with your clothes,    which are dreadful at best.   would you like me to move onto your hair ?   your voice ?    your face ?   ‘