What can I say? I’m a vampire! 🤭

My top surgeon said since I'm so crazy betitted, my scar is likely going to be in one piece across my whole chest, so I'm going to talk to him about getting my scar done in a sort of V shape, almost like I've been autopsied, but from under my armpit. No idea if it's possible, but it would be really funny. And yes I'm being serious. This isn't a bit. If I'm not gonna have nipples, I might as well go full silly.

"Transgender? This is from when the aliens took me. I'm an LGBabducTee."

Endlessly diabolical how you can't say words like rape and suicide uncensored without either being criticised by idiots or punished by conglomerates.

It's not r*pe, it's rape. It's not su*cide, it's suicide. Not unalive, dead. The backbone needs to be reintroduced en masse because softening the blow of these concepts with advertising language does absolutely nothing but allow people unaffected by them to feel not even a sting of what they can do, prompting inaction.

And it's been proven that on certain websites, you don't even face a repercussion for using the words as they are. People just started censoring themselves because they feared the potential lack of views and likes and followers which is so nasty itself.

video game companies really think hyperreality somehow makes games better… it does not! it just makes them hyper realistic lol and it sure doesn’t make my console feel any better either… instead of putting hours of effort into making a character’s arm hair look realistic how about u put some effort into something that matters like idk the plot maybe

I’m just saying, everybody loved Spyro and it didn’t even have basic water physics

spyro looked like someone duct taped together triangles and op is still right

Hey, happy Earth Day! Who wants to talk about climate change?

Yeah, okay, fair, I kinda figured the answer to that would be "ugh do we have to?" What if I told you I have good news though? Good news with caveats, but still good news.

What if I told you that since the Paris Agreement in 2015, we've avoided a whole degree celsius of global warming by 2100, or maybe more?

Current projections are 2.7C, which is way better than the 3-5C (with a median of 3.7C) we were expecting in 2015. It's not where we want to be - 1.5C - but it is big, noticeable progress!

And it's not like we either hit 1.5C and avoid all the big scary consequences or fail to hit 1.5C and get all of them - every tenth of a degree of warming we avoid is going to prevent more severe problems like extreme weather, sea level rise, etc.

This means that climate change mitigation efforts are having a noticeable impact! This means a dramatically better, safer future - and if we keep pushing, we could lower the amount of global warming we end up with even further. This is huge progress, and we need to celebrate it, even though the fight isn't over.

It's working. Keep going.

I recently had surgery, and at the time I came home, I had both my cat and one of my grandma's cats staying with me.

- Within hours of surgery, I wake up from a nap to my cat gently sniffing at my incisions with great alarm.

- I was not allowed to shower the first day after surgery, and the cats, seeing that The Large Cat is not observing its cleaning ritual, decided I must be gravely disabled and compensated by licking all the exposed skin on my arms, face, and legs.

- I currently have to sleep with a pillow over my abdomen because my cat insists on climbing on top of me and covering my incisions with her body while I sleep (which is very sweet but not exactly comfortable without the pillow). She also lays across me facing my bedroom door, presumably on guard for attackers who may try to harm me while I'm sleeping and injured.

That's love. 🐈‍⬛🐈❤️

cats are so very unclear on what is wrong with us but they want to help

I'd argue that cat knew exactly what was wrong (to a point ofc), because they were trying to lay their body over the incision, to assist the healing with body heat and (probably) purring, on top of providing tongue baths and security just in case.

"The Large Cat is Injured, there is a Wound in their stomach, we will care for them while they heal, attempt to assist healing, and protect them." That's the sweetest fucking thing, AND is understanding (to the best of an animal's ability) what happened.

Cats are love.

Tomska going hard on Twitter again.

Reminds me of the veggie tale twitter post

the what

Alright, to ao3's soon to be arriving Wattpad Refugees, a basic guide to general user culture:

1.) Unlike Wattpads vote system that let's you like each chapter, the ao3 equivalent kudos only allows one per work. Everyone is generally quietly annoyed about this. To engage with each chapter, you're heavily encouraged to comment. Trust me, it makes people's day.

2.) Ao3 has no algorithm. By default it's latest updated work first. You can find things to your taste through searches, filters and tags.

3.) 'No archive warnings apply' and 'user has chosen not to use archive warnings' mean two very different things. No archives warnings means the work is free from any content that could require a warning tag (character death, graphic depictions of violence, non-con, etc). User has chosen not to use archive warnings means it could contain any of the warning content, be it hasn't been explicitly tagged. Treat it like an allergen. No archive warnings apply is allergen free. User has chosen not to use archive warnings, may contain traces or whole chunks of the allergen. If you're likely to have a bad reaction, maybe don't take the risk.

4.) Speaking of warnings, ao3 has very few restrictions on the type of work that's allowed. Whatever your personal thoughts or feelings on that are, thats how the site is. You're likely to run across some dark subject matters and a lot of people are uncomfortable with reading that. You're well within your rights not like these works and have your opinion on whether they should be allowed, but harassing the authors of such works (or any works) is more likely to come back on you than them. Ao3 operates on a strong policy of 'don't like, don't read'. Use the tagging system to your full advantage to only engage with the kind of works you want to see.

We look forward to welcoming you all and seeing the fantastic works you create. Happy writing!

I don’t know which author needs to hear this right now but even if you never update your wip i would never regret reading it a time of joy is never wasted

Don't feel any guilt or pressure. Release all the WIPs, start new ideas with reckless abandon. I will cherish them all

I know it's not the worst thing about capitalism. But I do think there's something really *bad* about the fact that between lack of leisure time, lack of disposable income, and "hustle culture" mindset that for many, many, many people the primary/only way they are able to express their creativity and artistic aesthetics is through consumer culture. Buying stuff and displaying that stuff.

When like...making stuff. Drawing, painting, weaving, crafting, sketching is like, baked deep deep into our bones as humans.

But I know so many adults who haven't like...drawn a picture since they were children.

"Ugh my drawings look like a 10 year old did them."

"When did you stop drawing for fun?"

"...when I was like 10."

Never mind that art doesn't have to be good to be fun.

The fact that Microsoft Word has to be a subscription is upsetting. I already paid for it why do I have to pay again

Yes please be mad about it, genuinely- You used to be able to purchase a single disk to install it and use it forever after that initial purchase of one key. It sickens me to see all this stuff which used to be a one time purchase be shunted under a subscription now.

THIS

"Why is pirating going back up?!"

This. This is why. People don't mind paying a high price for software if it's only the once, or every 4-5 years.

But having to pay a high price regularly? Especially in the cases where you lose access to your own work if you don't?

That's why people are pirating software.

It’s possible to buy a non-subscription version of Word; Microsoft just intentionally makes it very difficult to find (and also expensive).

However, I know a guy who knows a guy website: MS Office Pro for $50. If the link starts going to a Page Not Found, just search the site; they usually have some form of this sale available. 

Worth noting: while $50 is still more money than $yo-ho-ho, that money is a great way to make VERY clear to Microsoft that we DO want one-time-purchase products, not subscriptions.

My laptop just died. If it can't be fixed and I need to replace it, this post is gonna be a real life saver, because my family has been sharing an old version of Word that came with a limited number of lifetime licenses, and we're fresh out.

https://www.libreoffice.org/download/download-libreoffice/

Get LibreOffice. It's fully compatible with MS Office, but it's free and open source. You're welcome. :-)

people say folks with adhd struggle with "delayed rewards" aka long term goals and as such we tend to focus more on short term rewards. what they don't talk about is that at when we Do accomplish long term goals we don't actually feel anything proportionate to the amount of work we did to achieve it. In my head I suffered for a while and then money spontaneously appeared in my bank account.

i want to share with you some of my favourite graffiti from Pompeii

I’ve always loved these. Humanity has never fucking changed.

the guy who wrote “if anyone does not believe in Venus, they should gaze at my gf” drank XTREME respect women juice

‘Pirate’ Streaming Apps Beat Netflix and Disney in Brazil’s Play Store

Pirate streaming apps are leading the entertainment category in Brazil's Google Play Store. These unauthorized streaming apps draw a massive audience and beat official streaming platforms such as Netflix, Disney, and HBO in download rankings. While piracy is a worldwide phenomenon, Brazil certainly stands out.

Continue reading.

BRASIL NÚMERO UM PENTA-CAMPEÃO MUNDIAL☝️☝️🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷🇧🇷😎😎OUVIRAM👂DO IPIRANGA🏞️AS MARGENS PLÁCIDAS🌟DE UM POVO👥HERÓICO🎖️O BRADO RETUMBANTE, E O SOL ☀️DA LIBERDADE☝️EM RAIOS FÚLGIDOS⚡BRILHOU NO CÉU🌌DA PÁTRIA NESSE INSTANTE🕑

I just get incomprehensibly bewildered every single time I hear about commercial airline fuckups. Coming as I do from the world of naval aviation, the shit commercial airlines get up to confounds me.

Did the navy try to rush us during peak flight schedule? Yeah, course they did. And you know what we were trained to do? To tell them to go fuck themselves, because safety came FIRST. I’m serious. I always performed full inspections. I pissed off people weekly for finding flaws that made the jets unsafe to fly. I once told a guy two ranks above me “no” and stood there and refused to do the task until it was safe to do it. I made him and the pilots wait the full 5 minutes. After the jet took off, he came up to me and admitted I’d been right. Yeah, I know. You’re welcome for me refusing to do a thing I knew would catch the jet on fire with the pilots inside.

And navy jets have REDUNDANCY. They have two of everything. Learning some commercial jets only have ONE piece of equipment, a sensor that records the angle of the plane, that was connected to a computer that could override the pilot’s input and force the jet to careen towards the ground? Yeah. Terrifying.

I look at commercial aviation and go “look what you’ve done. You’ve ruined a perfectly good form of transportation.”

Anyway trains are better and if I could get where I’m going next month without flying I would.