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have sword, will travel

@dumblesbianjockenergy / dumblesbianjockenergy.tumblr.com

Paige. Never learned how to dodge or flurry rush and honestly now I’m too afraid to ask
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teaboot

My old man once said to me, "your thoughts are so random and unconnected. We were just talking about the carnival- how did you get started on wasps?"

So, I told him, "they're not unconnected- we were talking about going to the carnival, and the carnival is on the same fairgrounds they used to use for the rodeo, and one time at the rodeo my brother spilled sprite on himself and a bee went up his shirt and stung him, and bees die when they sting, but wasps don't, and I was wondering why, so I asked you."

And he said, "that makes no sense," and for the life of me I can't understand how anyone thinks of anything if not by this exact process

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oh hey, stealth and closeted trans people! i keep forgetting to mention this and idk if everyone already knows but there's this free app called transtracks (android + iOS) that acts as your standard transition tracking app (medical transition, social transition, surgical transition, whatever you're tracking) except it has a stealth mode!

just change your passwords settings to "train tracks"...

... and voila! the app has become for train schedules.

this is what the new decoy password screen pulls up:

it isn't exactly safe for me to be out IRL so i've been using this app for a while now! it's mostly helpful for my peace of mind and in case somebody needs to use my phone because i'm out to my family- but anybody living at home who isnt out or who has nosey/transphobic parents- maybe give it a shot!

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kafk-a
Anonymous asked:

you're so sexy. sorry about your constantly being haunted by the intense feeling of sadness

i want you to know this ask has been sitting in my inbox and living in my head rent free ever since you sent it, anon, and i don’t know what to say to it except i love it and i am probably going to pin it on this blog forever. please write to me if you see this

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otherwindow

I hate explaining jokes but this fucking scene from Kung Pow makes me lose my shit every time: 

  • The children screaming “We’re children!” like they’re Pokemon
  • Cans of Pringles in the background 
  • Shopkeeper’s voice breaking the microphone levels 
  • “Babe-y”! 
  • The shitty cgi hand with the phone
  • He doesn’t even dial the phone
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arkantolas

and then the fact that he doesn’t even pay

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babe please talk to me im sorry i messed up ur pinterest algorithm how many more times do i have to say it

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remember when you used to go over to your friend’s house and you’d go down to the “computer room” to the dad’s old shitty desktop computer and sit on the giant black leather computer chair and your friend would show you charlie the unicorn and epic rap battles of history type of stuff on youtube while their younger siblings bugged you for a turn to use the computer

…this is so specific but… yes I do remember.

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On some real shit, I do not fuck with people who ride those boat things at the carnival. People who get on those do not give a fuck about life, they don’t care about you, ya mama or your kids. They literally have nothing to lose. You don’t care about life so there’s no need for me to fight you because you’re not going to give a damn about my face. 

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