herbasementhideout reblogged

Damian: Oh father, I see you're on your way out. I'm glad I caught you.

Bruce: And why is that, son?

Damian: You owe me $10 from the other night's family poker game.

Bruce: I'm aware. Don't worry you'll get your money. I don't have any cash on me but I'll stop by an atm today.

Damian: Good. I should hope so. Oh one more thing.

Bruce: What is it?

Damian: Be careful out there.

Bruce: Driving conditions are fine. Its a little overcast but roads will be ok.

Damian: I wasn't talking about driving specifically. I just mean that anything can happen.......anything.

Bruce:

Damian:

Bruce:

Damian:

Bruce: Will you accept a check?

Damian: Not usually but I'll make an exception this time.

Bruce: Great. ALFRED GET MY CHECK BOOK!

Dick: Jesus Christ. Imagine if Bruce owed him some serious cash?

Jason, sweating and thinking about how he owes Damian $900: Hah.....yeah....imagine.

herbasementhideout reblogged

rad-batson

Damian Wayne Headcanons :) in which I give him actual character growth, suck it dc writers

this is extremely long, I am not sorry

He has literally no footsteps, you cannot hear him walk, even when he stomps around in one of those moods, it’s just barely a little *pat pat pat*
He doodles on everything. With everything. Some Gothamites have found intricate floral designs etched into the roof or random brick walls (most likely with a knife) after seeing Robin patrol.
He has like 20 weighted blankets, all different weights and sizes depending on his mood.
His favorite item in his room is a silver Nintendo DS. (He likes to use the little chat rooms, even if no one else is on the other end. He doodles and writes little messages. It’s like his diary.)
He loves all animals, and that includes the creepy ones. Especially the creepy ones.
Once, Tim started screaming bloody murder over a massive bug with a bajillion legs in his room. Damian now houses it in an enclosure in his bedroom. Her name is Mildred, Millie for short.
When he was in the LoA, he was forbidden from stimming in front of others. It took two years for anyone in the batfamily to ever witness him stimming.
His most common stimming behaviors are shaking out his hands, scratching his palms, and rubbing his hands across different surfaces. When he’s really stressed, he’ll snap his fingers.
He absolutely hates cameras. They’re loud and make him uncomfortable. One reporter almost got scratched when they got too close to him with the flash on. He only barely tolerates the security cameras in the manor. Barely.
He can and will be roped into any dare imaginable. Bruce repeatedly forbids him from taking dares from his siblings for months at a time.
He has a compartment in his utility belt dedicated to treats for any animal he sees on patrol.
When he’s tired, he’ll speak a mixture of Arabic, Mandarin, and English. Only Bruce can make sense of it, and occasionally Jason.
Bruce absolutely refuses to yell at Damian. Even if some of his other kids argue that he’s being too nice, he’ll only use his Batman voice and his Soft But Disappointed Dad Voice, but he will Never yell.
(He doesn’t tell them it’s because of what happened the first and only time he yelled at Damian. Bruce moved his hand a bit, and Damian flinched wildly. Bruce cried for hours over the implications of that.)
Damian only feels comfortable sitting if he can clearly see the main entrance. If not, he’ll sit with his back against a wall or he’ll stand.
He dutifully takes the responsibility of feeding and grooming every Wayne animal. They receive the most nutritious and filling meals on the market (all while receiving lots of head pats.)
He has very strong eyebrows just like his father. They tend to pull the same exasperated expressions too, highlighting their resemblance.
Talia taught Damian at a very young age how to write perfectly with both hands. He no longer remembers if he is naturally left or right-handed.
The one insult he cannot handle is “spoiled brat.” A few months after he arrived, someone in the family called him that as a joke, and he completely shut down emotionally. No anger, no sadness, no resentment. Literally just nothing. For days. No one knows why, but they will never let it happen again.
You know he’s Up to Something TM if he swings his legs back and forth while he sits.
He is obsessed with those cheap TV documentaries about famous plane crashes and shipwrecks. After finishing one, he’ll find the nearest family member and tell them all about it: how it happened, what human error caused it, and his fool-proof plan for if it ever happens again and he is nearby. Usually, it’s Alfred.
For the first few years at the manor, Damian’s favorite spot is the family graveyard. Everyone calls him dramatic. He just likes how it’s so quiet. (And he’s dramatic.)
When Jason waxes poetics about dying over dinner, Damian just groans and says, “So have I. You’re not special.” That’s how the family learns he was repeatedly revived in the Lazarus Pit due to the fatal nature of his training ~~and abuse~~.
His first ever crush was on the cute male tech at Alfred the Cat’s vet. Damian was 12. Jason, who accompanied him, proceeded to give him both The Talk (“It’s okay to like boys”) and The Talk (“Your body is ✨changing✨”) on the drive home.
He will not text back unless it is absolutely necessary. He will leave people on read. He does not hate you. (…Probably.)
Titus is a registered therapy dog, trained in helping Damian through panic attacks and sensory overload. If you ever see Damian asleep on the floor, eyes cried out with Titus resting on top of him, you know why.
When he was 13, he tried to fake his own death after he failed a test at school and “dishonored the family name.” Bruce and Dick had to sit him down and explain that grades aren’t everything, and they still love him unconditionally.
He talks to animals like they’re human. He has a habit of venting his frustrations to Batcow in particular. And his fish while he feeds them.
His love language to others is a mixture of gifts and quality time, usually without words.
One day, Damian was snooping around the house and found that one of the electrical closets leads to a tiny space—barely two feet wide—in between the sheetrock and the foundation wall with nothing but a single hanging lightbulb. It took years before anyone else found it, but by then, Damian had painted an 8x10 ft mural on the wall and created a small bed of blankets and pillows for when he needs a quiet place to escape unwanted stimuli.
When he sleeps, his cheeks puff out like a little chipmunk. It’s adorable.
During the Winter Olympics one year, Damian falls in love with figure skating and decides he wants to try it out, but he never asks to take up lessons in fear that he will be horrible at it.
Duke figures this out and now takes him ice skating just enough to avoid suspicion. It’s become their bonding activity.
Once, Jason and Tim made him try a Sour Patch Kids-flavored energy drink. He immediately spit it out and said, “What the fuck?! That’s even worse than drinking from the Lazarus Pit.” And that’s how the family learns that Ra’s made Damian drink from the Lazarus Pit a few times.

One day, Steph told Damian about the wonders of concealed self defense products. Now, about 80% of the mundane items Damian owns is secretly a knife. He will purchase any item that is secretly a knife. Including several fake lipstick tubes.
He has rigorous self-control when it comes to sleep. Sure, his schedule is a bit fucked up for someone his age, but he is in bed and asleep exactly when he tells himself. (His siblings could never.)
His entire wardrobe is soft items he “found” s~~tole~~ from the laundry room. If it’s comfortable, it’s his now. (No one complains. In fact, having Damian steal your clothes is considered a privilege.)
He hates whenever Alfred tries to recreate dishes from his childhood. It’s just not the same. Alfred understands.
When he’s really stressed—like the “I am one stubbed toe away from a complete meltdown” stressed—he will finger paint. He likes the feeling of it on his skin.
Due to his time in the LoA, Damian has a habit of never telling anyone if he’s injured. Instead, he’ll pretend nothing’s wrong until he passes out or literally can’t move right and someone calls him out. He’s working on it, though.
There’s a massive system of fish tanks in his room complete with handmade decor and multiple venomous species. No one even realizes until Alfred mentions it during dinner.
He has hyper fixated at least once on every single artistic medium you can imagine. His top three are oil paintings, mosaics, and pottery, but he mostly sticks to drawing in his free time.
He has taste tested all of his pets’ treats at one point for “research purposes.”
Giving friends their own nickname is one of the most intimate things Damian does to express his relationship with someone.
Once, he was having an argument with a sibling, and they said, “Oh yeah? Well at least Bruce wanted me!” Damian didn’t leave his room for exactly six days. He even stapled blackout curtains to his windows and the vents. Bruce chewed the shit out of whoever said it and spent hours every day talking to Damian through the door to convince him that, yes, Bruce wants him and couldn’t ever think of a family without him. Damian didn’t come out, however, until he heard Bruce crying while begging him to eat. Damian slept in Bruce’s bed that night and the following week.
When he turns 15, he gets really obsessed with Måneskin.
He’s exactly the kind of Art Hoe that is completely loyal to his favorite brand of art supplies and wouldn’t touch other brands with a 10ft pole.
He has weirdly thin fingers. Like creepily thin, especially as he grows older. Someone commented on them once, and Damian proceeded to wear gloves nonstop for a week.
There are exactly four (4) people who are allowed to touch him without permission first. Dick, Jon, Bruce, and Talia in that order.
His eyes are actually naturally blue. The reason they are green is because of the Lazarus Pit. It’s always the Lazarus Pit. (They barely glow in the dark too, but you need to really pay attention to notice.)
He can wiggle his ears. The only people to ever witness it are Cass and Duke. They’ve been sworn to secrecy.
Whenever one of his many pets sleeps in his bed, he tries to stay as still as possible without touching them so they don’t get annoyed and leave, but they always worm their way into his arms.
As he grows, his family is surprised to learn that he isn’t building the same muscle as his dad. Instead, he’s lean like his mother due to an extremely fast metabolism. He eats a lot to maintain proper health. (His cheeks are still puffy when he sleeps, though. And when he smiles.)
Dick is his emergency contact for school, partially because Dick isn’t as busy, partially due to that time Bruce “died,” but mostly because Damian is terrified of disappointing Bruce if he ever gets in trouble. Thankfully, Dick is convincing Damian otherwise.
His favorite ever birthday gift comes from Tim. It’s a pottery studio he spent months building on their property in secret with several pottery wheels and a kiln.
His hands have always had a sort of surgical accuracy to them due to his stealth training, but it never came to the forefront of everyone’s mind until one particular mission when Tim got shot, and they needed to get the bullet out as quickly as possible. Despite being bigger than most of his family members by now, and Tim refusing to stay still the whole time, Damian was the only one capable of taking the bullet out. While riding in the Batmobile. Going 80 mph. Completely painlessly. Damian is immediately given the de facto role of Combat Medic.
Jon likes to send Good morning texts to Damian. At first, he didn’t know about the “only responds if it’s an emergency” thing, though, so he decided to stop after a few weeks of Damian never replying. Within an hour of not getting the usual text, Damian was at Jon’s house in full Robin gear to make sure he was okay.
He and Steph like to paint each other’s nails when one of them is stressed. After Damian comes out as pansexual, Steph paints little pride flags on his fingers.
He only plays Minecraft on creative mode. He likes building farms and wildlife preserves.
At 16, he gets asked out by a pretty girl in school that Damian had a crush on last year, but he thinks it’s a joke because he can’t fathom anyone liking him so he turns her down.
As he grows, his looks become more androgynous, again eerily resembling his mother, but his voice drops low enough that it doesn’t cause much misgendering.
Then he starts thinking of his gender a bit more and wonders if he’s also a They.
He likes to paint all over the soles of his shoes whenever he gets a new pair. No one will ever really see it, of course, and it eventually wears off the more he walks, but he knows it’s there.
It’s a nice day in the park. He’s doing homework on a picnic table while Titus and Ace run around, and he can’t stop thinking about his future.
Yesterday, there was a school assembly about choosing a career path. Alfred slid him an SAT prep book during breakfast. And his class was assigned one of those “Which career path is best for you?” quizzes.
He gets Veterinarian.
It takes a full five minutes as Damian stares at the results, thinking about the crazy, out-of-this-world idea of not being a vigilante or assassin his entire life, what it would be like if he just turned his back on the future which was so carefully laid out in front of him since birth, before it clicks into place.
Damian doesn’t want to be Batman.
He doesn’t want to lead the LoA either.
Two years later, Damian enrolls in Gotham University and majors in Wildlife Biology on the Pre-Vet track with a minor in Studio Arts. He gets a dorm room, works in the pottery studio, and volunteers at the local animal shelter.
He is content.

Does some of this stray from canon? Yes. However, I do not give a rat’s ass. Thank you, and goodnight.

herbasementhideout reblogged

batbusiness-schooldropout

Damian: WHAT THE FUCK

Tim: Woah! What's with the language Brat?

Damian: I've just watched a man make a semi-functional claw machine out of chocolate!

Tim: Out of chocolate?

Damian: Yes! The joystick moves and the claw sways and the button works and one day I'm going to find this guy and kill him!

Tim: Why?

Damian: I don't know how else to process these emotions

Tim: Yeah that tracks

batbusiness-schooldropout

Everytime I see one of that chocolate guys videos, I'm going to add on more of Damian cursing. I will try (emphasis on try) to include at least one arabic curse. That guy makes me feel things I don't understand. Not hard because, y'know, autism. But still

herbasementhideout reblogged

lucerneatery

no one:

tim, stumbling through the desert with another person on his back, suffering through severe blood loss and a ruptured spleen, looking the grim reaper in the eye: If I fail bruce would be so disappointed and also literally won’t be able to come back so sorry but I gotta skedaddle

herbasementhideout reblogged

The mirror

Summary: the handsome boy in the library asks for your number

Genre: crush!jungwon x fem!reader, strangers to (?), Fluff, JUST FLUFF

W.c: 1.5k

Warnings: NONE !!! (just cursing lol)

Main masterlist

...

herbasementhideout reblogged

batbusiness-schooldropout

Damian: Father, may I talk to you about something?

Bruce: Of course. What do you need?

Damian: I would like you to never adopt anyone younger than me

Bruce: 🤨

Damian: You recall how.....difficult it was for me to go from being an only child to the youngest

Bruce: Yes......

Damian: And you have seen the complete and utter nonsense your current middle children get into

Bruce: yes

Damian: Quite simply, I don't believe anyone would survive me being a middle child

Bruce internally: *he's right*

herbasementhideout reblogged

mochinek0

SIT!!! Meme

I saw this floating around YouTube and had to write! If you’re curious, type in ‘I said sit meme Marinette’.

Caline was trying not to panic and kept her smile in place, while trying to contain her class. They were loudly shouting at each other or huddled in corner with Lila Rossi talking about her last trip. The only student that was silent in their seat was Marinette Dupain-Cheng and she looked half dead.

‘This is going terrible! We have a new student coming in today. I need to get them under control; Damocles trusts me to rein in this class.’

Marinette wasn’t in the greatest mood. Everything was too loud and she was at the end of her rope. As class president, she knew there was a new student coming today. If they came in the midst of the chaos, they would either join it or ignore them. With a sigh, she got up from her seat, in the back, and made her way to her teacher.

“Ms. Bustier, would you like some help?” Marinette questioned with a sigh.

'My savior!’

“Yes, Marinette, that would be helpful.” Caline smiled.

Too bad it was already too late. Principal Damocles had opened the classroom door to Bruce and Damian Wayne.

Marinette slammed Caline’s lesson plan book down hard on the desk and shouted, “Alright; sit down! I’ll give you to the count of three! ONE!”

Immediately, Chloe, Sabrina, Max, Kim, Alix, Mylene, Ivan, and Nathaniel scrambled to their seats.

“TWO!” she continued.

Rose and Juleka quickly sat in their seats.

“THREE!” she stated, firmly.

Adrien and Nino sank into their chairs.

“What if we don’t want to?” questioned Alya.

“Yeah. What are you gonna do?” Lila replied, with a smirk on her face.

Marinette took a deep breath and slammed her hands on the desk, before shouting, “I said sit the fuck down!”, her voice echoing around the room.

Caline’s legs gave out and she landed in her chair. Bruce took a step back, confused by the tiny powerhouse at the teacher’s desk. Damocles ran and hid behind Bruce. Alya and Lila dropped into their seats, in shock. They had never seen her so pissed off; she usually just sat quietly and took what they said. While everyone cowered under her outspoken voice, Damian stood tall. Bruce couldn’t help but notice his son’s ear tips glowing red.

'She’s an Angel.’

“I have been up for seventy-two hours with no sleep. I’m not afraid to hurt anyone at this point. Now, we have a new student joining us today. Be nice and if you wake me the fuck up, I will break something or someone.” Mari concluded, before taking her seat and resting her head on her desk.

Keep reading

herbasementhideout reblogged

mochinek0

The Moon and her Shadow

LONG STORY

Luka sighed as he walked to the front of François Dupont Lychee. Juleka had left her notebook on the table and she had mentioned how important it was the night before, for a test. He looked around the campus, hoping to spot his sister’s purple locks when he noticed blue instead.

He shifted on his feet before he weaved his way through the crowd, hoping he wasn’t wrong. It had almost been three years since they broken up. He wished several times that Marinette would give him another chance, once she was ready to openly tell him the truth about herself. He hadn’t expected to see her in the arms of another guy or for him to kiss her.

“Luka!” he heard Juleka call, waking him from his stupor.

“Who?” he demanded.

‘Why hadn’t she told him Marinette moved on?’

Juleka tilted her head in confusion until her brother turned back to glance at Marinette under the shade of a large tree. Juleka’s eyes widened when she saw Marinette with some guy she didn’t recognize.

“I don’t know.” his sister replied, “I had no idea she was seeing anyone. It’s the first time I’ve seen him, but I’ll ask the girls. I’ll get back to you, okay?”

Luka handed over her notebook and left without a word.

'Has she really moved on?’

Keep reading

herbasementhideout reblogged

rad-batson

Tim: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING??!!

Damian: Dick said he wants me to try acting my age

Tim: So you’re having a tea party with your pet cow in the living room?!

Damian: I looked it up. Kids have tea parties. I’m having a tea party.

Tim: Why are you doing this??

Damian: To get a good grade in acting my age, something that is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

Alfred: Would Master Batcow care for some more finger sandwiches?

herbasementhideout reblogged

mochinek0

3 Steps Back (meme)

Marinette stood awkwardly as she was confessed to, yet again. Before she could say anything, she saw someone rushing towards them in the distance.

“Um, can you take three giant steps backwards?” Marinette asked.

Confused, the person stepped back. In the blink of an eye, they found a dagger tip at their throat.

‘What the fuck?’

They looked up to see Marinette with her arms around some guy’s waist.

“Who is this guy?” he questioned, out loud.

“This is my very overprotective boyfriend.” Marinette smiled.

The guy paled and took another step backwards.

“Got it.” he announced and rushed away.

Marinette sighed as she let go of Damian.

“Habibiti, I could have handled him.” he declared.

Marinette leaned up and kissed him.

“I don’t want to call your dad and tell him your in jail for maiming.” she replied.

Damian rolled his eyes, putting the blade away, “He can afford to bail me out.”

“Like all the other times?” she questioned with a smile, “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”

“People should stop asking you out.” Damian huffed.

“I have an idea.” Marinette announced, “You have to wait until tomorrow. I don’t think you have anything to worry about after that.”

Marinette walked into school with a shirt that read: Property of Damian Wayne. Damian blushed at the familiar writing style. He had seen it on cheerleaders at forced functions. She had chosen a dark blue shirt and yellow colors. It was reminiscent of when he went to Gotham Academy.

“Is this helpful, Dami?” Marinette asked.

The people around them stopped what they were doing to stare at the pair. Damian said nothing, but grabbed her hand and pulled her further into the school. Marinette smiled at his approval. Damian tried not to flush red at the warning sign on his girlfriend. It was a giant keep away sign.

'Why hadn’t I thought about this sooner?’

Lila couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Marinette was wearing a shirt that flaunted Damian Wayne as hers. There was no way that was going to happen; not while she was around.

“Damian, ” Lila voiced in fake concern, “did you lose a bet?”

Damian merely glared at her. Marinette smiled from her place on his arm.

“It’s okay, Habibi.” Mari spoke, “It must be strange for her to see people like this; so happy.”

Damian smirked and looked down at her. Lila couldn’t believe that not only had Marinette talked back to her, but Damian Wayne had smiled at the goody-goody’s snarky comment.

“You’re one to talk.” Lila lashed out, “Everyone hates you! Who wouldn’t hate a bully?”

“You mean the pathetic rumors you spread around?” Marinette asked, “Only that one class believes you. The rest of the school laughs when your back is turned.”

Lila heard people giggle behind them. It wasn’t just one person, either. It was multiple people.

“Marinette is my property.” Damian declared, “The shirt doesn’t lie. She’s my girlfriend and has been for two years.”

Marinette smiled, “Damian got a little possessive when someone tried to ask me out again, yesterday.”

“That is twenty people, who have asked you out in the past five months.” Damian hissed.

“People?” Lila questioned.

Marinette blushed, “I’ve had girls confess to me, too. I don’t mind wearing the shirt. Hopefully, after today, I won’t have to stop Damian from attempting murder.”

Damian and Marinette walked passed Lila. Lila moved to the sidelines as other people started to speak up.

“Damn, Damian made sure to scoop up the 'Queen of the School’.”

“The Queen?”

“Do you expect anything else from a Wayne?”

Keep reading

herbasementhideout reblogged

mikeluciraphgabe

( part-two )

herbasementhideout reblogged

bartistic

tim, drunk and coerced into a game of two truths and a lie with jason, dick, and steph: okay ummmm i— haha. i have the highest body count in the family, Lobo has a contract out on me and… PFFT i’m dating a guy

jason, also drunk: well the gay thing isn’t news but i call bullshit on the body count, you’re like 15. the fuck did you do to get Lobo after you?

steph, the only sober one, eager to sow chaos: oh Lobo would never kill Tim, they’re buddies. they’re going out for disc golf on saturday.

dick, possibly the drunkest: tim. tim what do you mean you’ve got a body count higher than B’s. our father is a slut.

tim: nonono Bruce doesn’t kill :( that’s his Ruleeee

jason: TIMMERS. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’VE GOT A BODY COUNT.

tim: ahahaha do you guys have any idea how many assassins i’ve blown up?

steph: TIM. WHAT

tim: [cartoon explosion noises]….KERPLOOEY

herbasementhideout reblogged

azuree1733

Bro I slayed frfr, I'm actually in love with that drawing of Tim he's so pretty, also I really need a new signature cause that one is awful:D

herbasementhideout reblogged

thecruellestmonth

Jason Todd goes to therapy. His therapist is nice. She listens to his story. She chuckles at his jokes. She teaches him to recognize unhealthy thoughts. Her candy bowl has the peanut M&Ms he likes.

At the end of the session, she leans forward, takes Jason's hands in hers and says, "Jason, your self-care homework for this week is to viciously slaughter anyone who hurts you."