Indefinite/Permanent Hiatus

          Hello, everyone, it’s sure been a bit since I’ve been on here and a lot has been happening in that time. I’ve been doing a lot of soul searching, a lot of reflection, a lot of seeking my purpose and figuring out what to do from where I am...and I’d like to share a major life choice I’ve made, a calling if you will, that a muse like Ramsay just doesn’t match up with.

          For a long time now I have felt as if I’m going no where, accomplishing nothing, and a general sense of not being anywhere near what or where or who I should be. It was a hopeless, helpless feeling and I finally got low enough that I turned to my faith and began praying for an answer, went back to church last weekend and as soon as the pastor started talking it was clear as crystal:

          Ten years ago, I heard God call me (I’m not being dramatic, I literally HEARD) while I was listening to a song about nations losing their pasts and winning their futures and He told me “I want you to be a part of winning those futures.” and I made a promise to go, overseas, as a missionary to tell others about what I have and who God is and why I believe in Him. A missionary calling. For TEN YEARS, I have ignored that promise, until last Sunday.

          I have fallen very far from the level of faith I had back then, but I was never happier than when I was faithful and unashamed and active in my faith and I am making an effort to regain that relationship and get back that sense of purpose and fearless existence that comes with the power of God at my back. So I am daily striving to be the best I can be, the kindest, the most loving, the gentlest, the boldest, and the most loyal...and when I feel I’m ready, I’ll be joining the International Mission Board and devoting my life to serving and witnessing in Japan.

          Thank you all so much for the wonderful times here, for being my friends and for sticking by me through all the hate and the political upheavals and the discord drama. It means a lot to me to find people here that are genuinely friends and people I can rely on! If you want to find me and keep in touch, I am always on discord at Panja#7429 or at my other three blogs @surpass-the-gods, @cabinetlurker and @dxngerouslyinnocent.

A special thanks to my main squeezes: @spiritedgrxce, @lorasthethorned, @xbrierxrose, @myrandaofdreadfort, @iron-reborn, @no-happi-endings, @lastxdragon, @iylamarbrand, @flayersdaughter, @devoidofbxnes, and @reekcd, @astatheloner, @goldnwulf , and @russetwolf.

And ALL of you guys I’ve been active with out there! It’s been great and I appreciate all the threads and interactions!

@starkmatriarch, @drakainas, @giantatheart, @killthebxy, @ladywxlf, @ivoryxdove, @zcldrizes, @boltxnbastard, @needlcd, @ncrthernking, @meryllfrey, @thestormlioness, @kee-writestrash, @acharmingbird, and if I missed anyone, I love you too!!

You rarely ever hear the second verse of the Star Spangled Banner, but it's beautiful and deserves to be sung more often. I think people tend to forget what today is all about, that we are celebrating our country and freedom, yes, but moreso it's paying homage to the men and women and children who fought and died in pursuit of that freedom. So happy Independence Day, my American friends. Long may our beautiful banner wave!

Coming soon to a computer screen near you...it's Panja's Noe Archiviste blog! Stay tuned ❤🇫🇷

          {{ Well, I was going to get on and do some replies, but Tumblr is running HELLA slow and every time I try to write something it just thinks forever and won’t post. So I’m going to go read Vanitas no Carte and sink into the wonderful world of Jun Mochizuki’s wonderful mind and beautiful art talent. I’ll try again later if Tumblr wants to not be a butt. }}

          {{ I fully intended to sit down and get some serious replies done....and I got distracted by The Office. I get off work earlier tomorrow so hopefully something will get done on at least one of my three blogs! }}

          “If you were dead you wouldn’t KNOW your tits hurt, would you?”