@superhero-justice / superhero-justice.tumblr.com
Bro imagine how much funnier BBC Merlin would’ve been if Uther stopped obsessing over sorcery after Merlin arrived cause he got too distracted trying to figure out if Merlin and Arthur were gay for each other for the next like 10 years
some of u should have an OnlyClowns account
what the fuck do you think a tumblr is
Tim: (shaking) Jason, I’m scared.
Jason: Shhhh, just close your eyes.
Damian: W-What’s happening?
Dick: (Grabbing and hugging Damian) Oh god-
Bruce: All I said is that I love all of you?
Jason: (Covering Tim’s ears) Stop! You’re scaring us!
That’s it, that’s his character
Steve hold my beer Rogers
I haven’t seen Soul, yet.
Dick: We all have our demons.
Dick, grabbing Damian: This one’s mine.
Jason - What’s wrong with you?
Dick, pale - ….Alfred…….accent
Jason - What?
Dick, gaining composure - He’s watching England in the World Cup Final and–
Alfred, from the other room - OH FOR FOOKS SAKE LADS, PASS THE BLOODY BALL!!
Jason, looking in - What the fuck
Tim and Duke, standing behind Cass - I’m scared
Season 1: “I can’t be seen buying drinks for my servant.”
Season 5: “There’s no shame in a servant losing to his king.”
in superman adventures #19, there’s a villain named multi-face who can convincingly disguise himself as anyone, even tricking dna tests and x-ray vision. Superman initially can’t stop him
and the only reason he gets caught is because multiface decides to disguise himself as, of all people, CLARK KENT i’m screaming
why do villains always mess up so badly
Clark Kent attending Bruce Wayne’s yacht party where Bruce told Clark to wear his clothes and……
calling the people at the party Bruce’s “fake friends” as if he’s Bruce’s only real friend and he’s low key jealous
Okay I absolutely love this comic but I gotta offer a correction because I got the chance to read this recently and the real context is even better: Clark and Bruce have never met at this point. Clark ended up on this yaught by accident and the people there just assumed he was Bruce Wayne making an entrance because none of them have ever met him. Clark isn’t even Superman at this point, he’s still just a twenty-something from kansas with super powers trying to figure his shit out, and he just stumbles into a billionaire’s yaught party and then foils an assassination attempt on accident. The best part is that Bruce finds out about this incident bc he obviously has surveilance on the parties he never attends and he’s just completely fucking baffled. I’m pretty sure this incident is why he knows Superman’s secret identity. What a fucking first impression. Absolutely legendary.
This extra context is amazing and makes everything all the more hilarious.
Omg this is amazing
Mornings at the Manor…
Alfred: *decorating pancakes with whipped butter and blueberries*
Dick: *eating cereal while doing a one-armed handstand*
Jason: *throwing bacon bits at Dick’s face*
Tim: *enters the kitchen*
Damian: What’s that smell? *sniffs the room*
Everyone else: *stops to sniff*
Damian: Smells like sweat and anger and shame.
Tim: *with dark rings under his eyes*
Tim: *pours coffee onto the wrong end of his mug*
Tim: *sighs* Yep.
🔥batcat (batacat? Not sure about the batman/catwoman ship name?) please, I need more of their fluff in my life!
🔥“Marry me.” / “We’re already married.” / “Marry me again.”
Bruce had schooled his body to resist most drugs, but there was one that never failed to lift him to cloud nine. Afterglow with Selina Kyle.
The low purr she was emitting, the shivers spreading trough his body as she lazily rubbed her bare feet on his calf; the salt he was licking from her skin as he spread kisses across her moonlit skin, her fingers scratching his scalp just like he liked it…
It was easy to get lost in the moment, in her, not that he even tried to resist it.
And then she was pulling his face upwards, staring him with eyes so dark he could barely see the green, but instead of kissing him like he thought she would, she avoided his lips to bite his ear softly, licking it to sooth the skin. And the sensation was so powerful that Bruce felt himself start hardening again.
“Marry me,” she whispered.
Bruce had to take a couple of breathes to remember how to talk again, when his vision became focused, she was looking at him with a very smug expression.
“We’re already married,” he finally replied.
“No, we are divorced,” she corrected him, noticing his recovery and sliding her hand through his chest downwards to signal that she was interested.
“About that… Do you remember how the last time we got married it was in the Philippines?”
She pushed him so he would be lying on the ground of the rooftop their last chasing rendezvous had ended; and rose to her knees, riding his thighs and kissing her way down.
“Wasn’t it Greece?” she asked between kisses.
“No, Greece was the time before that.”
“Oh… What about it?”
“There is no divorce in the Philippines.”
She lift her head slowly as if she was having trouble to register what he said.
“I knew you would divorce me again, and then we would get back together…”
“But you said we were divorced. I remember signing the papers.”
“I lied. And you don’t even remember the last place we got married.”
“You giant-”
She didn’t finish whatever nasty insult she had for him, because Bruce flipped their positions, smirking down at her.
“And I was right, you just asked me to marry me again.”
She snorted, feigning disinterest.
“I just like to waste your money in a huge party, and our weddings always bring the kids home.”
“Fine,” he said kissing her while his hands pulled her knees up, to hold hug his hips. “I’ll marry you again.”
————————
I hope I didn’t commit any cultural blunder, I just googled “country with no divorce” and the Philippines came first.
you can’t be a gay icon if you leave your shopping cart in the middle of the fucking parking lot
“Babies only cry if they are hungry, need changing, or need to be picked up”
Lies
Babies (and small children) also cry for reasons such as:
1. “I am tired and that makes me angry”
2. “I scared myself with a fart”
3. “You are the wrong parent”
4. “I ran into something with my face”
5. “I’m facing the opposite direction then the one I want to”
6. “I fell asleep in one place and woke up somewhere completely different”
7. “I am a very small person in a very big world”
8. “I got scared because YOU farted”
Babies have more then 3 states of being and sometimes you just have to hold them and bounce them gently while saying solemnly “yes it is very hard to be a baby” because frankly it is
you have to remember that when you’re that tiny… pretty much any bad thing that happens to you is LITERALLY the WORST thing that has ever happened in your life. they have no perspective. everything is awful. help them
Jason: (Holding Damian by the scruff of his colllar) Why did you stab me in the thigh?
Damian: ....(mumbling)
Jason: (shakes Damian) Speak up.
Damian: hrk- Tt- fine. It was because you weren’t paying attention to me.
