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ASs Pirates? wHaT iF thEY steAl My aSs?!?!?

@drunken--sailor-blog / drunken--sailor-blog.tumblr.com

Hello I'm Darren! nice to meet your acquaintance. I'm a trans male pansexual and my pronouns are he/him. I hope you enjoy your time here and find what you're looking for.
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trans women are so fucking good if you’re a trans girl and you’re reading this you are Gorgeous and i love you with my whole heart

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i’m bored of mental health discourse that doesn’t consider capitalism’s effect on people. like sure i take antidepressants to deal with mental health problems, and they change the chemicals in my brain, but the root cause isn’t that the chemicals in my brain were wrong, it’s that we live in an alienating hell system that treats people as commodities

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hugbees

not to be mean, but do you srsly think something else like communism would help your mental health?

i think not having to spend a third of my life doing something i hate surrounded by people i hate in order to not starve would improve my mental health

i think having adequate free access to mental health services would help my mental health

i think not being constantly advertised at and told my worth is measured in how much shit i own or how much men want to fuck me would help my mental health

i think not having to worry about choosing between a roof over my head and a meal in my stomach would improve my mental health

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skellydun

this week better be a good week or I swear I will astral project up to heaven and fist fight god for the throne because enough is enough

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ierohero

depressed kids in the media: I don’t wanna go to therapy! I don’t need help! I’m not some specimen for you to dissect!

me, rollin up to my therapist’s office and collapsing in relief: what is UP my homeboy I fuckin missed you,, hope ur ready to hear some Bull Shit that fuckin happened to me this week

families of depressed kids in media: okay sweetie we’ve researched depression for ten hours straight and signed you up for therapy and re-arranged your school schedule to be less stressful

actual parents of depressed kids: look i get you’re sad but someones gotta do the goddamn dishes stop being lazy get up. why didn’t you go to school today, what’s wrong with you, you’re such a burden on this family.

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kremeroyale

Therapists in the media: *understanding head tilt*

My real live therapist whom I adore: Natalie, that is the DUMBEST thing I’ve ever heard.

Therapists in Media: Lets do some art therapy and be really quiet while we talk about your feelings :)))))) also I’m prescribing you 500 different medicines

My therapist Brian who I love to death: Jack, I think your first problem is you stay up too late looking at memes, so let’s try taking a nap

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exjwthings

My real life therapist: Okay, before we start, I found this hilarious video I know you’d love.

Therapist in media: serious face the whole time

My therapist: *laughs awkwardly*

therapists in media: refined, cultured, poised, “I’m afraid I haven’t [heard of the nerdy thing their patient just referenced]”

my old therapist derek, from across the reception area, seeing me for the first time after the summer of 2015: HEY DID YOU SEE AGE OF ULTRON?? IT SUCKED, RIGHT???

my current therapist ian, in our very first appointment: do you like star wars? anxiety is like the force, it can consume you, or you can learn to keep it in balance… you’re my padawan now

Actual things my therapist has told me:

“You’re bassicly a glorified sad lizard.” (It makes sense with context)

“Damn girl you need to get your shit together.”

“Go home and cry. Stop drinking in bathtubs. Eat something that isn’t bleach or memes.”

I’ll add more tomorrow after I see her again.

My therapists name is Karen and she has a little print out of that “we can’t all be neurotypical Karen” post on her desk.

Sometimes she prints out shitty memes with positive quotes on them and legitimately forces me to take at least two.

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nicopetty

my old therapist: oh SHIT wait look at this, i got it off amazon! *reaches into her purse and whips out a fidget spinner* it GLOWS in the DARK.

i told my therapist once that i played minecraft on peaceful mode to calm myself down and she told me “you need to try putting your brain on peaceful mode”

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mansprout

You’ve heard of the Gay Agenda but have you heard of:

  • The Queer Quest
  • The Pan Plan
  • The Sapphic Schedule
  • The Asexual Arrangement
  • The Bi Big Idea
  • The Closeted Course of Action
  • The Demisexual Disposition
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