@everythingispirates / everythingispirates.tumblr.com
HAIIII so I moved out recently and have to pay like electricity bills and stuff and like while there's no need to worry about me I do like to have some more money to throw around so if you're looking to snag a comission NOW IS THE TIME ‼️just message me and we'll work it out
one thing about me is you can pay me money to draw stuff and it can be like basically whatever you want 👍
How is it cishet media?
VP: Cishet romance good vs evil plot AND the main character is a priest. The movie I'm talking about is The Velocipastor (2018) of course
PotCCoTBP: cishet bc it's abt elizabeth swann desperate for man ass
How is it lgbt?
VP: It's camp to me. The only sex scene is a montage of the main characters (a sex worker and titular velocipastor) bonding over the course of the movie. MAJOR FLASH WARNING but you can find it here https://youtu.be/Wp9hcCFEgOw . It's a low budget film (some of the FX is literally just text on a screen telling you what's there) where you can tell everyone involved is having fun with it and it's one of my favorite things ever. I've heard white gay people on tumblr love subverting christian imagery soooo there's that too
PotCCoTBP: pirates of the caribbean is lgbt bc elizabeth swann has genderful swag and will has beautiful puppydog eyes and jack sparrow for all his numerous flaws is getting real faggy with it
VP Propaganda:
every day I remind myself I must not bully random people online
computer show me high seas yaoi NOW
have to add a giant banner to this that says 🚨 PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN POST FOR PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN HEADS 🚨 lest I be misunderstood online
computer show me high seas yaoi NOW
jack sparrow voted prettiest princess in the world by the brethren court for the 20th year in a row and subsequently stoned to death. 👍
idk what compelled me to write this clearly boss is right and I shouldn't have my phone on company time
not in a ooo aaa I'm so crazyunhinged way I must stress. just idk why I'd call him that that's fucked up
jack sparrow voted prettiest princess in the world by the brethren court for the 20th year in a row and subsequently stoned to death. 👍
idk what compelled me to write this clearly boss is right and I shouldn't have my phone on company time
jack sparrow voted prettiest princess in the world by the brethren court for the 20th year in a row and subsequently stoned to death. 👍
How is it cishet media?
VP: Cishet romance good vs evil plot AND the main character is a priest. The movie I'm talking about is The Velocipastor (2018) of course
PotCCoTBP: cishet bc it's abt elizabeth swann desperate for man ass
How is it lgbt?
VP: It's camp to me. The only sex scene is a montage of the main characters (a sex worker and titular velocipastor) bonding over the course of the movie. MAJOR FLASH WARNING but you can find it here https://youtu.be/Wp9hcCFEgOw . It's a low budget film (some of the FX is literally just text on a screen telling you what's there) where you can tell everyone involved is having fun with it and it's one of my favorite things ever. I've heard white gay people on tumblr love subverting christian imagery soooo there's that too
PotCCoTBP: pirates of the caribbean is lgbt bc elizabeth swann has genderful swag and will has beautiful puppydog eyes and jack sparrow for all his numerous flaws is getting real faggy with it
VP Propaganda:
😊💖✨
Draw some of my old love
screenshot redraw uwu
I saw your initial Jack-Henry-Carina post when you first posted it and was like “ha, so true,” then was off tumblr for like a full day and just came back and experienced its final form and now my head’s spinning
born to go "teehee they are so silly :3" forced to get into internet fights with jd fans
How is it cishet media?
VP: Cishet romance good vs evil plot AND the main character is a priest. The movie I'm talking about is The Velocipastor (2018) of course
PotCCoTBP: cishet bc it's abt elizabeth swann desperate for man ass
How is it lgbt?
VP: It's camp to me. The only sex scene is a montage of the main characters (a sex worker and titular velocipastor) bonding over the course of the movie. MAJOR FLASH WARNING but you can find it here https://youtu.be/Wp9hcCFEgOw . It's a low budget film (some of the FX is literally just text on a screen telling you what's there) where you can tell everyone involved is having fun with it and it's one of my favorite things ever. I've heard white gay people on tumblr love subverting christian imagery soooo there's that too
PotCCoTBP: pirates of the caribbean is lgbt bc elizabeth swann has genderful swag and will has beautiful puppydog eyes and jack sparrow for all his numerous flaws is getting real faggy with it
VP Propaganda:
should I start preparing another batch of butter chicken even though I definitely have like at least two meals worth of it left from the last time I cooked it
mind you in all of this I haven't said anything about what I think about jd as a person I just said he was a bad actor. that being said as someone who has worked on film shoots I think he should be executed by firing squad for the crime of being late to shoots if that helps at all 👍
think I've said this before but it bears repeating jack, henry and carina kind of had the potential to be the comedic trio of the century because despite the everything about dmtnt a lot of their scenes do crack me up to this day. imagine the power they would have had if anything about that movie was actually well executed.
like I'm sorry but like the hanging scene and the little boat shark chase scene are literally funny whenever johnny depp isn't opening his mouth sorry if you can't see that SOCIETY
"have you spoken to krakens and mermaids as well?" "...krakens don't speak everyone knows that" THEY'RE LITERALLY FUNNY AND SILLY ‼️
Go on, try to tell me why you name Johnny Depp like it’s an issue caused by him specifically. Because I sure know you aren’t talking about Jack as a character given it’s the only time in the post you don’t use character name.
oh well that's easy I name him specifically because among its various other problems he's not a good actor in that movie hope this helps 👍
And that relates to the writing of the jokes, which was apparently your reblog’s point, how? Do you think he writes the dialogue himself? You’re hilarious.
I am thank you for noticing ♥️ it doesn't relate to the writing of the jokes, his delivery would have been bad regardless and the writing wouldn't have been saved by good delivery. in this post I was employing a classic technique known as critiquing several aspects of a movie in the same post
