are y’all safe or screwed

[…]

INTERVIEWER:  — Ms Dawson, talk to us about this upcoming project with Kal Anderson. What made you choose it for your comeback to the screen? And what was it like working with him?

FREDDIE DAWSON: — [ a strained laugh, Dawson takes a moment to respond, then takes a deeper breath and lowers her eyes, nearing the microphone ].

FD: — Oh, that’s a good question. I… well, I was already a fan of his work, he knows that, I [ laughs ] I’ve kinda fangirled at him about his movies more than the appropriate amount of fangirling one can do without… yeah, you know, without turning ridiculous [ laughs ].

FD: — Honestly I didn’t think I’d ever come back to it, you know, the business and all, I thought it was all kinda done. It wasn’t a good time, I… you know, Motel 17 kinda ruined me. I know it’s in bad form to say this now, but I… I hated it. I hated being a part of it, it ruined the whole thing for me. Afterwards, it felt like everything was… everything felt fabricated, you know? Like I was in my own Truman Show. But I went to the movies one night, and they were showing one of Kal’s, you know, Blue Ruin. It reminded me how [ Dawson takes a breath ] painful movies can be. How true, in the cruelest sense of the word. And I thought that was it, you know? “That’s why I fell in love with movies all those years ago”. And then I actually met him, when I was in Europe, and one day, maybe the second or third time we met, one day he said he was working on something and wanted to work with me and I… I mean I was unsure about it then, not about him of course, just, the whole thing, but I thought — I thought, “If I’m coming back at all, it has to be with him.” Like, it wasn’t even a choice, there was no other way, I… he has this very sharp way of looking at the world, at life. He seems to see things that most people overlook, and he can deliver them. He can translate it back, better than most if you ask me… [ laughs ], I know, I know, it’s hyperbolic. I’m not allowed to say he’s the best when there’s Fellini, and Bergman, and all the Spilebergs and the Coppolas out there, but I think… he’s the only one. I mean it. He’s the only one with that kind of gaze, that way to… sort of pierce through people, right into their emotions, it’s wild. It’s insane. It was… [ Dawson takes a breath, laughs, for a second she seems to lose her train of thought. ] 

FD: — Working with him was intense. It was rough at times even, it felt like being completely exposed. There were times I got scared he was reading into my mind [ laughs ], I almost felt the temptation to quit. I mean it was, diving headfirst right back into it, into acting, and yeah, I mean —— you can be the best swimmer in the world, you know, you’re still gonna shit your pants when they throw you in the middle of the Pacific, yeah? [ Dawson and the interviewer both laugh ].

FD: — But I didn’t quit, I mean, we were both committed to… [ she pauses ]. Both committed to it, to the movie, we put our heart and souls in it, and I’m glad I pushed through, ‘cause after that first jump into the water it all just kinda… it flowed on its own. It was beautiful, really. He’s great. He’s probably the best director I’ll ever work with, he [ Dawson laughs ] I know he’s gonna call me to yell at me after all of this, I just know this, but he really is. It’s ruined my standards, now. Truly fucked up my career for good, yeah, thanks a lot for that. [ laughs, then goes silent ].

I: — There’s rumours you end up dating all men you work with eventually, be it on or behind the screen. Care to comment?

FD: — [ Dawson rolls her eyes, pulls away from the microphone, sighs ].

FD: — I mean, if that’s true and they all end up dating the same woman, that’s kinda unoriginal, no? Like they’re all copying each other, what —— I mean, doesn’t it sound ridiculous? I mean… [ Dawson takes another strained breath, then forces a smile ].

FD: — I’m not gonna talk about my love life on air, that’s just gonna depress the shit out of everyone here [ laughs ]. But I’ll say this, if this is about Severin again, I’m gonna start demanding payment for every single time this question’s been asked. Like, it ain’t happening, folks. [ laughs ]. He’s my friend, he’s more than that, he’s family —— I think he’s one of the most brilliant musicians ever, I think he’s insanely talented and understands music better than anybody, but as I said multiple times, I find him completely repulsive, so… so yeah, there ya have it, sorry. [ laughs ]. As for the others, I mean, I’ve … only really dated two people, the first let’s not… let’s not talk about that [ a nervous smile, then she takes a breath ], and then Kal, i mean… Kal was different, that. That was a whole other thing, I don’t… [ Dawson pauses, her gaze drifts off, then she swallows and looks up at the interviewer again. ]

FD: — Yeah, can we just — can we skip to the next question ?