Have I told y’all about my husband’s Fork Theory?  If I did already, pretend I didn’t, I’m an old.

So the Spoon Theory is a fundamental metaphor used often in the chronic pain/chronic illness communities to explain to non-spoonies why life is harder for them. It’s super useful and we use that all the time. But it has a corollary.  You know the phrase, “Stick a fork in me, I’m done,” right? Well, Fork Theory is that one has a Fork Limit, that is, you can probably cope okay with one fork stuck in you, maybe two or three, but at some point you will lose your shit if one more fork happens.  A fork could range from being hungry or having to pee to getting a new bill or a new diagnosis of illness. There are lots of different sizes of forks, and volume vs. quantity means that the fork limit is not absolute. I might be able to deal with 20 tiny little escargot fork annoyances, such as a hangnail or slightly suboptimal pants, but not even one “you poked my trigger on purpose because you think it’s fun to see me melt down” pitchfork.

This is super relevant for neurodivergent folk. Like, you might be able to deal with your feet being cold or a tag, but not both. Hubby describes the situation as “It may seem weird that I just get up and leave the conversation to go to the bathroom, but you just dumped a new financial burden on me and I already had to pee, and going to the bathroom is the fork I can get rid of the fastest.”

So, for me, about 20 oyster forks is about one serving fork.

One serving fork, and I am completely done for the day.

10 oyster forks, I’m fine. Probably annoyed, but fine.

(I don’t know escargot forks. I know oyster forks, we had some that came from oyster-loving grandparents and we used them for serving pickles.)

Oh man, this is so much more relevant to me than spoons. Because sometimes I’m perfectly capable of dealing with things like going to the grocery store or knocking stuff over or being unable to untangle something. But if there’s been a whole bunch of other stuff leading to that, that one little thing pushes me over the nope line.

And thinking of it as “which fork can I deal with fastest” is a really good way to bring it back under control, too.

“Which fork is the nope fork” is a useful query when trying to handle multiple fuckeries

v for vendetta is a film with a female protagonist that criticises capitalism, condemns pedophilia, encourages the viewers to question their governments, has a central plot about how LGBT people are condemned in right wing societies (more than three LGBT characters are in it) and was directed by a trans woman and her brother.

why has this become a fuckboy classic

because they mistake V for the protagonist and Evey as simply the viewpoint character, wilfully ignore the part of the plot about LGBT discrimination, and concentrate on how cool V is with his mask and his government-rebelling plots. 

What I find interesting is that - V is actually, imo, coded as trans, especially in the original graphic novel. Alan Moore claims that clues to identity of V ‘are all there’, which implies it might be a named character. If it was one, the only person matching would be Valerie, the woman whose journals V gives to Evey. Everything would match - Valerie was an actress, which would fit with both costume and tastes of V, and also why said letter was so important - and really, how the hell an occupant of a high-security concentration camp under constant observation had ability to write a letter, and also how a letter written on toiler paper would survive all these years, and burning down of Larkhill camp. (answer - by being written AFTER all these events).

Except, V appears to be male. Everyone is using male pronouns for him, in the movie he speaks in a masculine voice, and in the novel we do see a panel of his silhouette naked in Larkhill, and he definitely has a masculine physique.

But, if Valerie becoming V was metaphor for transition, that’d make sense.

That’s in addition to well, the fact that a lot of trans men begin their self-discovery as butch lesbians? It’d sure fit.

Why do I believe that theory? In addition to whole LGBT themes thing, and the letter thing, there’s one more reason. Well, I think this was skimmed by in the movie, but in the novel, we get a pretty solid clue. See, in the movie, exact nature of experiments performed on Larkhill inmates is kept rather dubious if I recall - we know they gave V abilities slightly above normal humans, but that’s it.

But in the novel, it’s more specific. So, what is the field of experiments that are being performed Larkhill concentration camp that they needed human specimen?

Hormone research.

V got strength to throw off chains of opression and fight back and yadda yadda, became a character who ticks off literally every single checkbox on definition of a superhero, including superpowers…

By literal fucking hormone therapy.

Administered to him, ironically, by the very oppressors.

From what I’ve read of Alan Moore’s stories, he doesn’t leave details up to a chance. Everything has a reason, and everything is interconnected with each other. And this, this doesn’t look like a bit of dark irony Alan Moore would pass up, since he loves that shit.

So, those are my reasons for this particular interpretation.

this is a really incredible

also I just wanted to add that both the directors are transgender woman, the Wachawowskis, and they also directed Matrix

Holy shot I did not pick up on this

I really don’t understand how anyone could not know V was Valerie. To me it’s as obvious as day. It’s actually somehow MORE obvious in the movie.

It became a fuckboy classic in the same way that Watchmen turned from a direct critique of Objectivism and a statement on How Superheroes Should Absolutely Not Behave, into a badly-understood blueprint for how a bunch of writers and fans decided All Superheroes Should Absolutely Be At All Times Because It’s Gritty And Dark And Realistic (including Zack “I never really liked comics except for Watchmen and also I want Warner Brothers to let me make a movie version of The Fountainhead” Snyder).

Variations On A Theme

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. And Adam fashioned an axe, and he cut down the Tree of Knowledge. And God asked “Adam, what have you done?” And Adam said “I refuse to be complicit in my own temptation.”

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. So Adam picked the fruit of the tree and planted it in the ground. A few years later, another Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil grew from the place he had planted it, and Adam ate the fruit of that one.

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. But the serpent told him this was lies, and that if he ate from the Tree of Knowledge he would not die, but would become as God. “How do you know?” asked Adam. “Have you eaten the fruit?” “Yes,” said the serpent. “I have tasted of it, yet I did not die.” So Adam ate the serpent.

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. So Adam picked the leaves of the Tree and made a delicious Good And Evil Salad.

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. Adam desired to taste of the fruit, and he decided that if he was going to get in trouble for breaking a commandment he might as well go all out. So he waited until the tree was heavy with fruits, then binged on all of them in one sitting. And the Lord definitely cast him out of Eden - but on the plus side, thousands of years later his descendants had excellent moral compasses and always knew the right thing to do in any situation.

God said to Adam: you may eat of any other tree in the garden, but you must not eat the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, for when you eat of it you will die. And Adam obeyed the commandment, and instead he ate of the Tree of Knowledge of Cool and Uncool. Then he saw his own nakedness, and found it unfashionable, so he made a snazzy jacket out of leaves and bark. And the Lord saw the jacket, and said “Adam, have you eaten from the Tree of Knowledge of Cool and Uncool?” And Adam said “You’re not my dad, you can’t tell me what to do.” And the Lord sent him forth from the garden, but Adam just said “Laaaaaaaaaame”.

At this point there’s no excuse for a baby boomer to be technologically incompetent anymore. It’s just willful ignorance, this shit is not fucking hard

“why is it asking for a password” because you’re logging into something martha, that’s how it’s been for the last 20 fucking years

“how do i do [x] can you show me” no dale you can Google it like the rest of us. it requires one exposure to the concept of googling to understand how it works. your generation was smart enough to cause a total economic collapse out of malice but not smart enough to type in a few words I guess

“im just not tech savvy” no you just refuse to learn because like in most things you are stuck in your ways

the worst part is after you help an old fuck with some sort of tech bullshit 9 times out of 10 they’ll give you some kind of bullshit passive aggressive thank-you

like “oh i guess you young people have to know something about those phones you’re always on, huh?”

give me a fucking break gretchen i have depression from living in the economy you created and my phone is more of a reprieve than dealing with your stubborn inconsiderate ass

AND ANOTHER THING that just gets my blood boiling is their ability to get into their settings, completely fuck things up, and then manage to develop total amnesia about how it happened

what do you mean you set your phone to japanese on accident, phil? there’s like 15 separate menus you have to navigate through to get there

“i think it’s because i got a virus” no greg it’s not a virus, the only viruses here are your rampant stupidity and the deadly pathogens carried by your unvaccinated grandchildren

i just absolutely loathe that the people who decide if women should be executed for having abortions or not are the same people who can’t figure out how to work a blu-ray player with the instructions in front of them

I wonder if my ancestors are smilling apon me sometimes

you: making aalittle thing with clay

the ghosts of Australopithecus: yes yes yes yes 

Aliens are the least of our worries right now but listen to me. Aliens don’t want to hurt us but the government is gonna convince us they do and incite worldwide panic and start a real space war to avoid advancing technology for the general population because efficient non oil based energy that the aliens have will crush the capitalist industries that need it to thrive welcome to my ted talk

this post so confidently and sincerely made it’s point that i had to stop myself checking the news to find out if first contact had happened this morning

y’know…. conversations about world war ii would be a lot more bearable and constructive if white men found that period rightly horrific rather than pornographic 

We glorify war because it’s the only time we’re allowed to release the beast and not go to jail for it.

You want to see who a man truly is, put him in a battle.

Man is never more himself, than when he has nothing to lose.

you’re not fucking odysseus, go to therapy

@tablewithamicrophone did an amazing dub of this Bowsette shitpost I made a few months ago. It’s like an audio drama, lmao.

An Anti-sjw’s poor attempt at a “joke”

Also

Other people: wow what an unfunny joke

WKM: No! You’re just not getting the joke!

Other people: um… no…. we get the “joke”, it’s just an unfunny joke

WKM: *Pterodactyl screeching*

https://luci-against-exorsexism.tumblr.com/post/180382452404/sjw-checklist

@heartandstride @heavendeathx @iron-sunrise @an-average-sized-person @wilhelmares @aridara @luchagcaileag @lunavegchick87

To “win” the governor’s race in Georgia, Brian Kemp and Republicans had to purge 1.2 million legally registered voters from the voter rolls, close down more than 200 polling places in predominantly Black neighborhoods, and deny the voter registrations of thousands and thousands and thousands of mostly Black people trying to get registered to vote.

And while thousands of Black voters waited in long lines for hours to vote, there were literally hundreds of brand new voting machines that Georgia had available, but never used.

Republicans cheat. Republicans cannot win in fair elections.

This is beyond unconstitutional. It’s unjust, unethical and immoral. These should all be criminal acts. Felonies, punishable by huge fines and imprisonment.

Republicans are a bigger threat to democracy and social justice than Russia or any other foreign government could ever hope to be.

After George W. Bush stole the y2k election, the Democratic Party should have never stopped screaming bloody murder.

Democrats, progressives and Independents need to go beyond simply restoring the Voting Rights Act—which Republican operatives and a Republican leaning SCOTUS helped eviscerate. Democrats need to fight for a national, automatic voter registration at age 18, and criminalize any act that blocks or otherwise impedes registered citizens from voting.

have you guys seen this site where you can craft your own emojis out of other emoji bits (within reason)

I call this one BE NOT AFRAID

i made a pure good one thats all about loving your friends

i made me

I call it Yikes

When someone insults that thing you like

p-pwease, mr. obama

The USA are a hellscape

this whole fucking post reads like satire but its not

big yikes

naruto: sasuke’s the person who accepted me more than anyone else

me:

Fuck dude! I’m purble

be careful

Referring to people who produce eggs as “egg-producers”—other issues with that phrasing notwithstanding—is only “reducing women to their body parts” if you think it’s synonymous with ‘women’.

Thinking ‘egg-producers’ is synonymous with ‘women’ requires assertinng that functioning ovaries are the necessary and sufficient condition to be a woman.

Asserting functionary ovaries are necessary and sufficient to be a woman is reducing women to their body parts.

This complaint can only be made by reducing women to their body parts.