I’m not sure who originally made the picture, but the quote means so much to me. I would rather be all alone than experience being with people who made me feel alone and unwanted ever again.

Popular unpopular opinion: Toxic Positivity does more harm than good.

Victim Mentality Pt. 2

TW// I talk about mental health and things to do with it. This post is purly just my opinions and experiences. If you are uncomfortable with any of it, please do not read.

Another thing I noticed about people with victim mentality, is even if they wronged you, even if they hurt you, they still make it seem like you are the one in the wrong. The first time I encountered this was on an innocent level, what happens was me and someone I use to know were messing around. It was basic friend banter. We were doing things like play fighting and tickling each other. In the process the said person accidently stepped on my toe. They were wearing heals and I was waring sandals. Needless to say, it really hurt. I wasn’t mad, but I did make a joke about it. It was obvious I was joking thought because I was still laughing despite being in pain.

They left the room, and I took a minute to recover because it really did hurt. After I felt okay, I went to go find the person. Said person was hiding somewhere. They got extremely upset and refused to talk to me. After pushing them to talk to me they said their reason was “I really don’t like it when I hurt my friends. Accident or not.” At the time I thought it was sweet how much they cared. I mean, nobody like to hurt the people they care about, right? But what bothered me is how they ignored me. After like 20 minutes I went back to them to talk about dinner, and they were still pouting. They would hardly talk to me still. I tried to coax them and tell them things like “It was an accident” and “I know you didn’t mean to” but they wouldn’t budge. It wasn’t until I offered to buy them candy that they cheered up. And it was like a switch flipped. They literally were up jumping into my arms and hugging me tightly when two seconds ago they were pounting and ignoring me. 

What I realized was they couldn’t stand someone else getting attention because the person was in pain, moreover the pain they caused. It wasn’t until they got something they wanted, that they acted okay again. Instances like this happened often with that person. They would be pounty and in a bad mood about something, but the second you offered them something they wanted, they were cheerful again. And I understand people do this in an innocent way. Like, a child pounting and the parent giving them candy to pacify them, but it went deeper than that. They would say mentally harmful things and act like the problem at hand was my fault even if it wasn’t. If I offered a solution to the problem, they wouldn’t do anything. They would say things like “It doesn’t matter anyways” or something like that, only when I offered to buy them something would they cheer up. 

It took me a while to realized I was being used. Honestly, I’m not sure if that person ever cared about me or not, and I don’t think I will ever know. Me and this person are no longer friends which they also blame on me. When we stopped being friends (wich they initiated the conversation) they gave me a list of everything I did wrong, but what they don’t understand is everything on the list they did to me. 

Victim Mentality

TW// This post will contain mentions of mental health and many things related to it. I want to make it known that this is just my opinion based off of the things I have observed from the people I have encountered. I do understand that not everyone is the same. This post is just my opinion and thoughts. If you are uncomfortable with anything related to this, please do not continue reading.

I’ve ran across a couple people with a victim mentality in my day. What I notice about them is they all share similar characteristics. For one, most of the time the people were genuine victims of some nasty things. Things that are hard to let go of. But these people also use that horrible thing as a way to get pity out of others. They act as if it is a prize that their trama is the worst. Instead of sypathyzing with those around them who are in pain, they all but say to them “but be glad you didn’t have to go through this.” as if the other person’s pain means nothing to them.

The people who did this to me always made it difficult for me to talk to them. One time I was with a group of friends who had a falling out. I chose a side, but the other side had someone who had been my friend for the better part of middle and highschool. They weren’t the best person, but they still meant a lot to me. The other people on that side I wasn’t very aquanted with, but one of the other people who took the same side as me was. 

After everything happened I went to discuss with them about how upset I was and they said something along the lines of “Do you think I’m not upset? You lost one person, but I lost so many people in that falling out.” And they proceeded to drown out my own sorrow with theirs. Honestly, I didn’t talk to them about this matter for a little bit after the falling out happened because I was scared of getting that exact response. 

Someone close to me experienced something similar (I did get their permission to post this). When they were first diagnosed with depression and anxiety, their best friend at the time also had it. After their first visit with a therapist, they told their best friend what they therapist had said to them. Their friend responded with “Do you think this is a game of who can be more f*cked up?” and proceeded to tell them they were faking. After that encounter, she refused to talk about her mental health for a couple years with anybody.

Losing Toxic People

Why does nobody talk about the pain in losing toxic people? You have to tell yourself things like, its all for the best or they would have dragged you down anyways, but that doesn’t make the pain go away. 

Yes, they weren’t good for me. Yes, they treated me poorly. Yes, I sacrificed too much of myself to stay by their side. And Yes, I’m relieved they left me. BUT it still hurts. 

I’m left with memories that are suppose to be happy, but bring me nothing but pain. I’m left with thoughts like “Why wasn’t I good enough” “What did I do wrong?” “Why didn’t they want me.” 

Toxic people are toxic and will continue to bring others down until they see themselves they need to change. There is nothing we can do for them. We can’t “fix” them. We can’t help them change, especially when they don’t see a problem with how they treat people. There isn’t anything we can do. I know this. I’m sure everyone knows this. 

But I still loved them. I still care for them. I still remember the times they made me smile. I still remember the times I was happy with them. THAT is what is hard to let go of. THAT is what is painful when a toxic person leaves you. 

I’m sorry for the sudden rant. I just wanted to put my thoughts out there. Pain is pain no matter where it comes from.

Love you all, Stay safe❤

Kim Woojin Pt. 2

I would like to say that a lot of people out there are bringing up past videos and clips where you can see our boys (stray kids) “protecting” one another from Woojin, or you see Woojin making a “mistake” (hiting Minho in the face while they were bowing during their introduction) and after watching those videos, I agree that you can see their behavior very clearly and wonder myself how I never caught anything, BUT with that being said, the more you post those videos the more you associate Woojin with Stray Kids and that is not something they need right now. Also, by overly posting about those situations, it takes away from the victimes of his sexual harrasment/assult. They are the ones who need to be heard right now.

Also, please do not spread false information. I agree that Woojin should be held accountable for what he has done, but spreading false information may affect other people as well. If you are not sure about a statement that was made/that you saw, please do not go around posting/spreading that information as if it is fact. 

Let all of the kpop fandoms unite to overcome this together. Let’s not treat idols as if they are gods, and let’s work together to make the internent a safe place for victims to come forward whether they are apart of these fandoms or not. WE HEAR YOU

Kim Woojin

This is certainly not the first post I wanted to make using this account, but my other account which is a stan account I want to keep safe and light hearted. I do plan to talk about what has happened and been revealed about Kim Woojin, so if any of this is triggering for you or offesive for you please do not continue reading.

Honestly, I have not been a Stay for very long. I became a stay during the Levanter era which is the era right as Woojin left. Since I was new to the fandom I didn’t have any attachemnts to him, but I understood the pain that other Stays were going through. Still, the way he left the group just left a bad taste in my mouth. While I still wanted to support him because I nor anyone else knew what really happened, I was hesitant too because there was just something about it all that didn’t sit well with me. Over time though, I looked past my origional gut feelings as I watched more videos even when I would notice different things. 

However, after reading and seeing all of the accounts of what he has done I feel absolutly disgusted, and I realize now that I should have trusted my gut feeling about him. I understand that each and every account may not be true or accurate, but I do believe that the majority of them are. I also understand that there isn’t really any proof about what is being said, but I feel like even IF it wasn’t true, Woojin should have taken the accusations more seriously instead of being like “It wasn’t me, I didn’t do it, but please support my solo work.” That in its own right is just disrespectful in my opinion even if the party in question is innocent (which I donnot believe him to be).

Furthermore, everything he has been saying has been a lie. He made up an entertainment company just to make it seem like he was doing okay. He stole the name and logo from two different companies, and had that fake company’s twitter account defend him. 

All in all, I do believe the victims. There are too many accounts to ignore and Woojin has been caught lying too many times. I don’t want him to just apoloize, I would like for him to be held accountable for what he did. An apology is the most basic human respect.

What the hell is this blog anyways?

So this is a side blog I started because I have so many thoughts and opinion on different matters, but I have nowhere to share these thoughts. Feel free at anytime to give your opinon or whateve else. Just to be clear, I will not state my personal opinion on political matters, because I would like to keep this blog as fun and light hearted as possible. With that being said, I will mostly keep my opinion about things like tv-shows, movies, and music. Just basic entertainment stuff. 

Thank you for comming to my blog and I hope you enjoy your stay here