I have a Date tomorrow with a guy who is way out off my league but still I’m afraid I won’t like him because Sebastian Stan set all my standards wayyyyy toooooo HIGH😭😭😭😭 what am I supposed to do? Also he is 26 and I’m 19 which isn’t a problem for me since I’m always into a bit older and more mature guys but all my friends are so concerned about it. Just needed to let this out, maybe someone can relate FML
nothing wrong with an age gap, just make sure that it can work! i’m dating someone whose 26, but at 21 i’m also about to graduate and start my career and we’re talking of moving in together when both our leases expire!
if your friends are concerned about it, definitely take their concerns into consideration—they’re looking out for you! from personal experience i know who i was at 19 versus now at 21 are two drastically different people—which is normal because you grow and mature!
at the end of the day, take a few moments to think about a few things;
- can you see a plausible future together?
- would your friends be uncomfortable hanging out with him and vice versa (you with his friends)
- does the age gap work? (i don’t know where you are in life, but in the sense of are you going to school, can you support yourself, are finances a problem? that sort of stuff!)
- what does he want? older men are either looking to settle down or have one last fling—figure out what he wants and go from there, we don’t want you getting hurt bb!!
age gaps take a lot of communication and compromise to work, it’s not always easy. my bf and i have had to sit down and talk about us as a unit—can this work, do we have what it takes, are our families on board with us (we both value family and thankfully both of our families support us wholeheartedly), finances are a big thing too (in any relationship!) so make sure they don’t get in the way
ik this is a lot of information and you’re going out on a first date, but just keep these things in the back of your mind. it’s legal, nothing wrong with that, but just think about the implications of the age gap!!
you’re hot, don’t forget that—he’ll be blown away by you!!
i hope you have an amazing date, don’t stress yourself out too much and see how you guys connect!! <<3
I have to disagree. A 7 year age gap is not worrisome, but the fact that a 26 year old man wants to date a woman who is technically an adult but still also a teenager is very concerning to me, as a woman in her 30s. Any man I know who is 25+ who wants to date someone in their teens is considered potentially a predator. There is a huge power imbalance, because while 7 years is not huge, the difference that particular 7 years makes is formative. She is still growing. Her body hasn’t even fully finished developing and at 26 people have usually finished school, held a full-time job, dealt with adult things, and at 19 we barely know our own selves. Please don’t casually support men grooming girls as if it’s not a huge deal.
^^^ this is really important, i was ignorant to miss this point and thank you for correcting me! while legal, it’s still...skeevy...for a lack of better words. i was trying to navigate the power imbalance point and i didn’t emphasize it enough (attempted to make it with the finances point—he will most likely be in control there). anyways, that was my bad entirely. looking at it more objectively i agree—so nonnie, while it’s your choice completely and it is legal, your friends having concerns are valid and i would take everything said into serious consideration
