HappyLittleOrc

Aliens are the least of our worries right now but listen to me. Aliens don’t want to hurt us but the government is gonna convince us they do and incite worldwide panic and start a real space war to avoid advancing technology for the general population because efficient non oil based energy that the aliens have will crush the capitalist industries that need it to thrive welcome to my ted talk

this post so confidently and sincerely made it’s point that i had to stop myself checking the news to find out if first contact had happened this morning

why are christian bale and patrick bateman the exact same person

like. ok

who was going to tell me that christian bale is the actor that played the fictional character patrick bateman. and who was going to tell me that patrick bateman is not an actor that looks like christian bale. who was going to tell me this.

STOP REBLOGGING THIS IM DELETIMG MY BLOG

Are you kidding me this is the best video I’ve ever seen

those are wood ducks! they tend to lay their eggs inside tree hollows away from predators and when their ducklings hatch they sort of plop down. The parents usually only nest about as high as their young can handle which can be up to 50 feet up!

this momma had the misfortune of making her nest over concrete so it sgood that she had assistance.

this is just adorable

GARY, YOUR FUCKING TAGS I-

well if this ain’t me or what

the mood in here is electric

Tumblr really left “I can’t even” back in like, 2013. but if there’s gonna be one night that it’s valid to revive that phrase, it’s tonight.

2020 lacks the vocabulary. It’s a lexical gap in desperate need of filling. We’re bringing it back out of sheer desperation

My brain’s been an overstuffed mailbox for 3 days and y’all are really trying to jam “Putin resigned because he sensed his Omega Trump was in distress and as a pair-bonded Alpha he had to go to him” against the slot now huh, huh?

ALSO WHAT THE F̴̢̡̤̹͈͍̜̱͖̂̅̊̐͌́̔͂̈̂͋̊̆̓̚̚͜͝ͅŪ̷̧̢̠̩̺̝̟̜̱͇̹͓̬̝̪̤̇̒̿́͛̈́̔͌͊͛͆̕͝ͅC̷͔̟̰̃̂̈̆́̊̐̎̈́́̄̿̕K̴̢̨̼̩͇̺͚͓͙͍̹͇̱̺̼̒̓̈́͊̈́͝͝ ̴̡̻̞̬̰͕̭̦͚͓̓̀̂͐͗̓͋͐̕͠͝ DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH DESTIEL?

Today does not get to keep upper-cutting me like this. I know who Dabi is but not the President. A whole entire Todoroki and a no entire President. Yes Todoroki No Voter-oki 

My psychic integrity was already weakened by the inhuman toll of thinking about Georgia for 72 hours. That’s longer than any human should ever have to spend thinking about Georgia. You can’t then stick this garbage shoot of information into my brain and expect me to come out okay

NO I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT THE TWITTER ARTIST WHO’S BEEN CALLED OUT FOR ROLE PLAYING AS TED BUNDY

A brilliant explanation of consent for anyone who STILL doesn’t get it. 

Never not reblog

Creative Cakes That Are Too Cool To Eat

really pretty, but also could be called “Creative cakes that are 90% fondant and thus uneatable.”

there are some dystopian ideas coming from the White House lately

Lord

I hope this post was something actually coherent bc all this hellsite would load was: 

[image description: a screenshot of a thread of tweets by Justin “Hoops” Mcelroy @ JustinMcElroy

1: “Found my 5th Grade journal and friends it is a TRIP”. Attached to the tweet is a picture of a journal with cursive handwriting in it.

It reads “May 7. Today is the National Day of Prayer. I prayed at the flagpole for 30 min.

May 13, 1992. Today is the day my dad will be unfrozen out of a block of ice.”

2: “Because it has caused a great deal of discussion: Dad was frozen in a steel coffin inside a massive block of ice. He was raising money for the Ronald McDonald House, people paid to look at him through a hole. He could pee but not poop.”

3: “A weird guy hypnotized him in a hotel room before he did it so he wouldn’t panic. He was not claustrophobic before, but he was EXTREMELY claustrophobic forever after. HE GAVE HIMSELF CLAUSTROPHOBIA. All of this is true.”

4: “He was in there for three days, by the way. Like Ice Jesus”

/end description]

new mcelroy lore

Toonami:

Black Lives Matter.

Fucking TOONAMI. I’m about to cry. My childhood just spoke some deep as truth.

Had a dream that wizards of the coast replaced elves, dwarves, gnomes and halflings with a sort of giant cannibalistic frog, and their section of the players handbook took up 800 pages

According to the rules, if you wanted to play one the DM first had to run you through an incredibly difficult pre-written solo adventure (this accounted for a few hundred pages of the section) where your frog decided to escape the mega-dungeon that the unrepentantly evil frog civilization was based inside of. If your character died or was unable to escape the dungeon for any reason, it would be eaten by its clan members and you weren’t allowed to play as a frog guy.

In total the phb was 15,000 pages long and I desperately wish I could have seen more of it.

Frog Escape Attempt #13: Despite the gruesome demise of my previous incarnations, I begin my adventure with a song in my heart and a spring in my step.

Me, doing research: Oh, wow, Hot Topic was founded in 1988? That’s earlier than I expected.

Me, scrolling down a bit, doing a comical spit take:

You CANNOT be serious????

Yep. It was originally mail-order, but they opened their first retail store in 1963.

Also discovered that Spencers owns the Spirit Halloween stores, which explains why they always know where the empty stores are in the malls.