Watch Meg and Joseph talk about their book with Dylan Marron! Very interesting stuff, especially for writers and appreciators of general cuteness.
“The First Ten Years”: my thoughts
Updated: this is the review I wrote at Goodreads. Amazon won’t let me write a review, because apparently my account isn’t verified or some shit.
I have followed Meg and Joseph's artistic careers for a while, both through Welcome to Night Vale and the New York Neo-Futurists, so I was very excited to read this book, and I was not disappointed. It was moving, it was funny, and it offered quite a few insights into Meg and Joseph’s personalities and their life together. Both are very intelligent and insightful, and obviously very much in love with each other.
The book has a lot to say about change and growing up, adapting to new things together, falling in love with each other all over again as you find yourselves in a new place. There are fights and difficulties, but the story is generally very joyful and uplifting. Fights are not described in too much detail, and happy moments are given more weight. I found it interesting that they often don’t mention the same exact events. A small moment that meant a lot for Joseph might not be in Meg’s story at all, and vice versa. This makes you think about memory, how our emotions shape the things we remember.
This is Joseph’s first nonfiction book, and while I found his writing moving and vulnerable, I would say Meg is the stronger writer of this format. Her bits were raw, insightful, and often laugh-out-loud funny. That said, Joseph’s recollections of his father’s death are perhaps the most moving part of the book.
I felt a strong connection with Meg. Her painful relationship with her body was particularly relatable to me. She discusses her eating disorder, substance abuse issues, and insecurities about her body very openly. I also have an eating disorder and recognize that ongoing anxiety, as well as the negativity and hatred people throw at fat women. Joseph's kindness and acceptance of her body was something that made me happy; other guys could learn from that. But there’s something more to that feeling of connection with Meg, maybe just being a woman in this world. I recognized the fears when Trump won the election, for instance. When Meg said that living in a woman's body puts you at risk, I felt that deeply. I would be curious to know if a guy would feel more of a connection with Joseph instead.
There were a few parts I didn’t find it so relatable. For instance, I haven’t traveled much and have never been to the US. They talk a lot about very specific New York and New Jersey things, and I simply don’t have the frame of reference for those bits. Since I haven't gotten married, some of those thoughts felt more distant for me as well.
I found the earlier years were more interesting than the later ones, for some reason. Possibly because their relationship became more stable and they settled into a routine. However, Meg’s letter to their possible future child was a highlight. She is now expecting said child - talk about impeccable timing!
I was surprised by how little Night Vale stuff there was. I thought it would be this huge thing in their lives, but they talk mostly about the practical side of things, like the strain of constant touring. I started to question whether Night Vale was a bigger thing for me and other fans than it was for them. Of course, much of the Night Vale stuff was between Joseph and Jeffrey and Cecil, not between Joseph and Meg. That might be why it’s slightly on the backburner. Meg also writes about her work with the Neo-Futurists, which I personally found very interesting. You don’t need to be in the theatre scene to enjoy these bits, but it probably helps if you're into art in general.
The main thing that I felt was missing were photos. It would have been nice to see Meg in the outfits she describes, and perhaps some early selfies from before the Night Vale tours. Joseph describes a specific photo in detail, and it feels a bit odd to not actually see it.
All in all, I’m happy they wrote this book and that I got to read it. Maybe there will be another book in the next 8 years. Night Vale fans will obviously get a lot out of this story, but I would imagine it’s relatable for anyone who’s been in a long relationship, especially artists.
More personal thoughts under the cut.
[tw eating disorder, mentions of fat hate]
I hope it’s OK to share a few pages of the book. I bought the Kindle version so I could read it asap, as opposed to 2-3 weeks from now, depending on when Amazon chooses to ship it to me. Am I too much of a stan if I say 5/5 stars, read it, it’s amazing?
I said I’d withhold my comments until later.
But damn, I relate to Meg SO HARD with all the body image stuff. It’s very raw and honest and painful, like most women’s relationship with their bodies, and definitely like my own. I live with the same demons of self-loathing.
I’ve noticed before that Meg has a lot of compassion for other women. While reading the book, I thought that she’s often compassionate to everyone but herself, something I can definitely relate to as well. Joseph is shown to be a supportive and understanding husband, something most cishet dudes could certainly learn from.
I've always found Meg relatable and empowering, and I know I’m not the only one. Pain can be empowering too, if you use it to be raw and honest and vulnerable in your work.
I will never forget how seeing her tap dance on stage affected me. Like Meg, I had experienced a lifetime of fat hate. I felt broken and vulnerable. At that time, seven years ago, my fears and concerns regarding my body and how others saw me were only skin deep. Seeing a fat woman on stage full stop is something rare. Seeing a fat woman stomp all over the stage and take up space and make noise was amazing. It’s hard to describe what I felt in that moment. Some part of me that was always hurting suddenly didn’t hurt. I felt like a balm was being spread on my wounds. I saw a woman who was bigger than me, doing something I would be scared to do. She wasn’t scared. She was strong and full of joy. She was radiant. All the pain and shame about her body was set aside and gleefully stomped over.
Maybe I put her on a pedestal then, but I needed it at the time. The feelings of pain are still there, but they’re no longer right under my skin. I’ve come to terms with some aspects of being hated as a fat woman. Part of it is certainly from my boyfriend loving me as I am; part probably just from growing up - I’m over 40 now and I finally don’t give a fuck if some dude finds me attractive or not.
But I think Meg had a profound impact on me too. I would think “what would Meg do?” when I felt too ashamed to go out into the world. Meg wouldn’t succumb to the shame. Meg would go on stage in front of people and be herself.
Like I said, some things have changed. She’s no longer bigger than me and our bodies are opposites (hers a pear, mine an apple). We don’t look the same, but that doesn’t really matter. We’ve been hated by the world in the same way, and we still carry the same pain within us. In that, I feel a deep sense of connection to her and all currently and formerly fat women. We can be there for each other. There can be power in pain too.
They added a tiny baby squirrel! Too cute!
And here’s another, moving and hilarious clip I forgot to post, about their first date!
I’m very impressed by these excerpts and very very psyched to read the book. I knew they’re both really good writers, but damn, this is good stuff.
If you (unlike me) can afford it, you can get a signed edition here: https://www.oblongbooks.com/fink-bashwiner
They’re also going on a virtual book tour, starting with Dylan on Tuesday. check it out here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/pp-live-meg-bashwiner-joseph-fink-the-first-ten-years-w-dylan-marron-tickets-148944004527
Here’s a sample from Meg and Joseph’s new book! Hear Joseph’s early touring memories and Meg’s thoughts on marriage. It’s really good, and I’m psyched to read the rest soon!
I’d like to withhold more comments until I buy and read the whole thing. I just want to sit with it a bit and maybe write an actual review on here. And also on Amazon and Goodreads, where it will reach more people. I’m not sure how many readers I still have on here.
I've looked at the Goodreads reviews and it has a rating of 4, with only one 1-star reviewer complaining about anti-Trump stuff in the book (LOL what did he expect??) People mention that Joseph wrote about his anxiety and Meg discussed her body image issues, and since I have both issues, I think I’ll be able to relate to both of them. It’s probably going to bring up a lot of emotions, so expect my review like, in a couple of weeks.
The book comes out on Tuesday the 11th. Only a few days to go!
Aww, Meg is pregnant!! This is great news. They will make good parents for sure. Kind, smart and openminded, all good qualities in a parent.
I know almost no one reads my blog anymore, but I just wanted to register my happiness. I also wish to share with you this very lame pun that I invented in 2014 and never had a chance to use: Meg’s egg is preg. Get it? (My boyfriend pointed out that the egg isn’t pregnant but rather fertilized and implanted, but IMO it still works) Such joyful news. I wish them all the happiness in the world.
“In this candid, soul-baring memoir, Joseph and Meg recount their first ten years together, each telling their story as they remember it, without having consulted the other. We hear both sides of their first kiss, first breakup, first getting back together, the death of a father, marriage, international fame, world tours, mental illness, and discussions about having children. Sometimes, they recall things differently—neither agrees on who paid for the morning after pill on their first date. Sometimes they remember the exact same details in the same way—but still have their own narrative on just what those details mean.”
This is so romantic! A must have for all the Megseph shippers, for sure. I love the concept of a real life love story told by both partners without consulting each other. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a book with this concept before. I’ve only ever read/watched 2-minute plays by Meg, so it will be really interesting to read her writing in a longer format. Meg and Joseph obviously have a very strong relationship, and the book might contain some good advice on how to keep a relationship going. Or it might just be specific to Meg and Joseph’s lives. Either way, I can’t wait to read this!
The book is out on May 11.
That was awesome! They took the classic episode and turned it into a two-part live show. Tamika Flynn before the summer reading program! Intern Dana before she was Mayor! Deb being all salty! I’ve never seen Kevin perform before, since he never comes to Europe. It was a thrill to see his SMILE. (His face was probably hurting after the show!)
Check out the show, pay what you want starting at 5 bucks. https://noonchorus.com/welcome-to-night-vale/
Thank you Kevin! Pumped to see this show tomorrow!
September 24, WTNV will do a live stream of “The Sandstorm”! That’s right, episode 19 (A&B), with guest roles written. This has never been performed live before. Featuring Kevin R. Free, Jasika Nicole, Symphony Sanders, and of course Cecil Baldwin and Disparition.
Pay what you can starting at 5 dollars.
This is so cool, I can’t wait! You can still access “The Librarian” at the same link.
Check out “The Librarian”, up now! A lot of fun and also quite moving, it’s all about fears and facing them. Up for a month, pay what you can 5 bucks and up. Much recommended!
The rescheduled tour dates are here! They will be coming to Europe in March-April, with the Finland show on April 1. (I wonder if they’ll do some April Fools thing?) 7 months form now, I’ll see them live again!
Meanwhile, check out “The Librarian” today (or for us Europeans, tomorrow) here: https://noonchorus.com/welcome-to-night-vale/
It was my first ever WTNV live show, and it was so much fun. The “Condos” live stream was epic, so don’t miss this one!
cecilbaldwin-fan reblogged
Episode 171 messed me up, y’all
Get tickets for “The Librarian” live stream on August 20! 5 bucks or pay what you can. This is a great script and it will be a lot of fun, so don’t miss it! Featuring Dylan Marron, Mara WIlson, Symphony Sanders, Meg Bashwiner, Hal Lublin, Erin McKeown as weather, Disparition as the music, and of course - the voice of Night Vale, Cecil Baldwin.