• (language and volume warning) 

• bachelor parties that are “prison” themed (because marriage is a prison??? get it??? GET IT???)
• “it’s not a real relationship unless you fight once a day!!!!”
• <proposes to girl> <marries girl> <spends rest of life complaining about being married to girl>
• “today my wife asked me to go with her… TO THE MALL! WOMEN AMIRITE?!”
• men who have been married to a woman for 10+ years who STILL freak at the mere mention of periods
• that whole “men are from mars women are from venus” bullshit that happened in the 90s (which, i may add, was based off a book written by somebody who claimed to have credentials he didn’t really have and has had all his theories debunked)
• women being expected to cook and clean for their husbands and remind them to bathe and essentially act like their mothers
• women being expected to take their husbands’ last name but people absolutely balking at the idea of the man taking the woman’s
• wives on tv who are portrayed as shrewish killjoys for… expecting the husband to pitch in and help with the housework once and a while
• tv marriages where the couples seem to borderline hate each other
• tv marriages that are based entirely on manipulation, name-calling, and nonstop fighting and most of the conflict comes from both parties refusing to just sit down and talk about it or to compromise
• entire reality tv shows based on dysfunctional marriages where the couples goes on tv to fight it out

Why are we not getting the hell out of here?

Because my theory is half-baked, Gus. Something isn’t sitting right with me.

Mundus Haruca carens non dignus est qui servetur.