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_AlexanderHamilton_

@alexander-----hamilton-blog / alexander-----hamilton-blog.tumblr.com

"Don’t get that sinking feeling,
I don’t fall apart”
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Just an experiment. Reblog if you actually give a fuck about male victims of domestic violence and rape.

Of fucking course

What sick bastard doesn’t

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xaldien

“You’d be surprised”, said Xaldien, who just lost four followers and received a lovely “men can’t be raped” anon shortly after reblogging this the first time.

Yowch, disgusting.

If I don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead.

Always reblog this

If you Dont reblog this if u see it then i cant call u my friend

IF ANYONE TELLS ME THAT MEN CAN’T BE VICTIMS OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND RAPE, I AM SICKENED BY THEIR MERE PRESENCE ON MY BLOG.

If you disagree with me, unfollow my blog, block me and never look at my blog again.

If you want to debate about this or send anon’s about this, I will reply but your actions have consequences.

Out of 19000+ followers I have, only one of you actually reblogged about this issue, yet a lot of you have reblogged and liked a picture by playboy about catcalling and that how men should never do it.

Additionally, I have received abuse in my ask box (which I will be answering when I can) and threats. In particular death threats and rape threats.

I can see the real problem here already. Male domestic violence and rape is just invisible in our society because we don’t want to talk about this because it just damages the status quo of this fucking website.

I’m a male victim of child sexual abuse. We matter. Please, reblog this.

Please never forget male victims are real and it can happen to everyone/anyone

I’m a boy , and when i was younger I was sexually assaulted every damn day for three years by my younger step SISTER, So don’t go saying that ‘boys can’t be raped’ bull shit

This is so important. That kinda shit can happen to everybody

Anybody can be raped, and anybody can be a rapist

!

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I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good—Sixth Year (Part One)

A/N Chapter fully written by _AlexanderHamilton_ . The song is "I Need You" by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

This chapter is too long to put into one part, so here’s Part One of a few.

~~~

August 21, 1976

Brown eyes shot open to the sound of the window sliding up. The fact that Vanessa hadn't been able to sleep for the past week had her fading in and out of consciousness as she attempted to fall asleep, but her insomnia seemed to finally be good for something. There was a slight tap on the floor that indicated that the intruder had their feet planted on it. Vanessa was quick to shut her eyes when the footsteps neared her. Luckily, her back was facing the windows so she wouldn't get caught faking sleep.

The light nudge at her shoulder made her jump, a chuckle emitting from the person behind her. The sound of joy sounded vaguely familiar.

"Relax, love," the man cooed, "It's just me."

Vanessa flipped onto her left shoulder to see none other than Sirius Black in his formal attire hovering over her. She furrowed her eyebrows at his presence in her room at this point in the night. "What's going on, Black? Why are you here?"

Sirius day beside her on the bed, "I'm just tryin' to keep you company, Vixen. There's nothing wrong with that."

"There's always a catch with you." She retorted. "What is it now?"

The boy sighed dramatically and pulled something out from the satchel Vanessa didn't see he was carrying. The object looked thin and lacy, the basic color of it being overshadowed by the darkness of the night. Sirius placed it on her lap and stood from the bed. "I'll be waiting for you down there," he pointed outside of her window to the patch of grass he clearly walked over to get to her. "Don't take too long."

Vanessa watched as Sirius stepped over the window ledge and onto the ground behind it, his torso exiting the room before his other leg followed suit. The fabric still laid on her lap and for a second she thought about just attempting to go back to sleep and letting the Gryffindor Romeo wait outside, but she didn't. She begrudgingly got out of her bed and walked to the darkest corner in her bedroom as far away from her window as possible. Goosebumps trailed up her stomach and arms when she lifted her shirt above her head, placing (what she now noticed was a dress) over her chest and shoulders. She then removed her night trousers from under the dress and flattened it out.

By the time she started to brush her hair and slip some shoes on, the little sleep she had left had abandoned her. Vanessa sarcastically thanked Sirius for that.

The girl walked over to her window and stepped outside, turning around to silently slide the window as far down she could without it locking shut. Sirius was waiting on the dry grass for her. When he turned around, his eyes noticeably brightened. 'She's so beautiful,' he thought. And it was true. Even with swollen eyes from lack of sleep and the shorter hairs on her head slightly standing up, she was the most gorgeous creature Sirius had ever laid his eyes on.

He quickly stood up and extended his hand for her to take, "Come on, Juliet. We have a full night ahead of us."

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* * * *

The pair made their way through the streets of London, some night owls giving them strange looks due to their formal attire. At this time of night, the only people that were out were a few store clerks that were closing their shops, some young adult muggles who were stumbling out of clubs and bars, and other adults that were giggling their way out of concert venues.

Sirius led Vanessa towards an abandoned building. The windows were covered by wooden planks and there was a large sign on one of them that read 'For Sale.'

The grey-eyed male reached into his satchel and brought out a silver key. He looked around to make sure no one was looking as he opened the door and pulled Vanessa inside. He quickly shut the door behind him and felt around the wall for the light switch he knew was there.

When the lights came on, Vanessa was surprised to see that the inside of the abandoned building wasn't as rotten and dirty as the outside. It was actually the opposite, there was a polished wooden floor and lavish sofas decorating the far back section of the area. On her immediate right there was a record player with a wide collection of vinyls stacked on the shelf beside it. To her left, a table filled with sweets was illuminated by a stark white light. Chocolate frogs, cauldron cakes, chocolate wands, pumpkin pasties and even more candies and pastries were carefully placed on the table.

Vanessa turned to look at Sirius, who was picking out a vinyl from the stack. It seemed like he knew exactly where the preferred vinyl was because it didn't take him long to slide it out of the stack, slide it out of its paper slip, and place it on the platter. He gently picked up the tone arm and placed the stylus on the already spinning vinyl.

The familiar sound of slow electric guitars filled the room. Vanessa scoffed with a smile when she saw Sirius extend his hand to her for the second time that night.

"May I have this dance?"

The Slytherin Juliet chuckled, "Yes, you may," and she placed her hand on his.

Sirius grabbed her hand and pulled her into his chest. He placed his right hand on her waist, her left hand moving up to his shoulder with her right hand still clutching onto his left.

He rhythmically swayed her around the empty space, his grey eyes never leaving her brown ones. While she was giggling at the rock 'n roll nature of this waltz, he was focusing on her joyful smile and crinkles at the edges of her eyes.

Ain't no need to worry

There ain't no use to cry

'Cause I'll be comin' home soon

"To keep you satisfied," Sirius sang into her ear, causing a shiver to run down her spine. He glided his fingers across the small of her back, his touch leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

You know I get so lonely

That I feel I can't go on

And it feels so good inside, babe

Just to call you on the telephone

Vanessa's feet followed Sirius' as they gracefully moved across the wooden floor. He would sometimes switch the direction they were dancing in just so he could feel her stumble further into his arms.

She momentarily rested her forehead against his and tightened her grip on his hand. He shut his eyes and relished in the scent wafering off of her. The song continued to vibrate from the record player. By then, the first verse was almost over.

The female broke the silence they had when she moved her lips so they grazed his earlobe. "I miss you more every day."

It was now Sirius' turn to shiver and get flustered. He balled up her dress in his right hand as he let out a shaky breath. The nerves in his stomach were on overdrive and his fingertips were tingling uncomfortably.

I woke up early this mornin'

And the sun came shining down

And it found me wishin' and hopin'

Mama, you could be around

Sirius rapidly composed himself, his hand flattening out on across her spine again. "For you know I need you more than the air I breathe," he hummed in her ear, "And I guess I'm just tryin' to tell you, woman-"

Vanessa moved so she was looking into his eyes again. Their voices started the next line at the same time, Van Zant's voice accompanying them in the next line:

"Oh, what you mean to me.

"Ooh, baby, I love you," they sang, "What more can I say? Ooh, baby, I need you. I miss you more every day."

Sirius slightly lifted Vanessa's right hand, not giving her enough time to realize that he was going to spin her. When she understood what he meant by the lifting of her hand, he was already spinning her. Her hair trailed behind her and flung over her right shoulder as she crashed into Sirius' chest.

He continued to lead her in their dancing. The guitar riffs guided them through the rest of the song.

Sirius slowed down his movements, "I'm so sorry, Vanessa."

"For what?"

"For shagging Marlene, I didn-"

"Sirius, stop," Vanessa scolded sternly. "I should be the one apologizing. It wasn't my place to act the way that I did. It's your life and you can do whatever you want with it. I'm sorry for reacting that way."

Sirius shook his head, "No, it wasn't ok for me to hurt you like that."

"You didn't hurt me, Sirius," she lied, her eyes moving away from his and to his chest, "I don't know what came over me, but you didn't hurt me."

The Gryffindor scoffed, "That's bull, Vanessa. I saw the way you looked at me after that, you we-"

"Can we not talk about this right now?" She interrupted. "I'd rather you didn't bring it up."

I'm tryin' to tell you I love you

In each and every way

I'm tryin' to tell you I need you

Much more than a piece of lay

Sirius nodded his head, his eyes now sullen and dark. He brought his head down to rest on her bare shoulder and swayed her with a little less emotion that before.

Ooh, baby, I love you

What more can I say?

Ooh, baby, I need you

I miss you more every day

Vanessa could feel Sirius' lips moving against her skin as he sang along with the song. She removed her hand from his and moved it up to the back of his neck, pulling him closer to her.

He nuzzled into her, his free hand wrapping around her waist so he could have a firm grip on her. "Ooh, baby, I love you—what more can I say? Oh, baby, I need your sweet lovin'. I miss you more, more every day."

Oh, baby, I love you

       The two moved side to side, silence consuming them once more.

Baby, I need you

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I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good—Fifth Year (Part Three 5/5)

June 5, 1976

Vanessa could feel the stress from the O.W.L.'s getting to her. This was the first day of the week where she finally got to relax without having to worry about testing the next day. She was certain she was doing fairly well, but that doesn't mean she felt extraordinarily comfortable with her performance on the exams.

       She decided to spend this time wandering around Hogwarts' campus, her feet taking her nowhere and her mind free of school thoughts. She thought that she should probably steer clear of any Ravenclaws or particularly ambiguous Hufflepuffs or Gryffindors. She didn't have to worry about her fellow Slytherins. Today was a day she could relax.

       Vanessa let the cold, damp air fill her lungs. There was still dew on the grass from last night's spring rainfall and the sun hid behind thick dark clouds. Her hands dug further into her pockets to protect themselves from the bitter cold. She sat herself on the driest bench she could find, her eyelids closing as she rested her head on the wall behind her. Her chest rose and fell with every breath she took. She could feel the air cooling her throat and lungs.

       Vanessa's enjoyment of the weather was cut short when she heard singing around her. She begrudgingly opened her eyes, hoping to tell the wannabe-artist to shut up and go back to her lazy Saturday. The plan would've worked perfectly except there was no one around. The only companion she had was the giant squid who could be seen swimming around a few feet away.

       She opted for closing her eyes once more, but once again, the singing began; this time with one more voice.

"So, be a tourist, hear the call. Now you've been saving your money—you can spend it all, and you can come away with me today."

Now curious, the girl slowly stood from her seat and she followed the voices. She eventually made it to the Great Lake, where the one of the singers (with a choked and babbled singing voice) kept singing while the other one stopped. Vanessa looked around, only seeing the giant squid around, but the singing kept going.

She peeked over the edges of the lake and found that there was still no one else there. She did notice, however, that the closer she got to the squid the louder the singing got. It was then when she realized that someone must've jinxed the creature to break into song, and she didn't have to think too hard to know who it was. Or, more specifically, who they were.

Vanessa sat on the edge of the lake, listening to the gargled sound of the squid trying its best to sing.

"Free from all you're meant to be. Come on, baby, jump right in. 'Cause tonight,–"

"-we can be right here, where we wanna be." Vanessa muttered. Her fingers fiddled with the grass under her hand as she continued to sing with the giant squid. They were the only ones in that area, so no one would hear the girl quietly mumble the lyrics to the song. "Come away, come away, get away.

"All your life, you've been running from dreams; from the blue and the red and the orange and green. Times have changed," she continued, "But you're not free."

"Take it all in, you may never be back again." A soft voice sang from behind her.

Vanessa quickly spun around, the momentum causing her to stand up. She immediately calmed a bit when she saw it was Sirius, but still felt quite uncomfortable.

Sirius moved to sit down next to her feet, his hands motioning for her to sit back down.

"Living your life where you can do anything, anytime, anything." He sang.

"Free from all you're supposed to be," Vanessa reluctantly joined in. "Come on, baby, feel the breeze. 'Cause today-

"We can be dancing under lemon trees." Their voices melded on time perfectly, the boy not noticing that the squid had stopped singing, for his eyes were too focused on the girl beside him with the sweet voice.

Vanessa cleared her throat. "What did you do to that poor squid?"

Sirius snapped out of his trance and looked at the aquatic animal. "Do you like it? It took a few tries, but we got it to sing a few of my favorite muggle songs."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because the O.W.L.'s were getting to people and we thought it'd be a good idea to give them something to laugh about during these two weeks." Sirius responded.

Vanessa scoffed. "I don't think the people of my house would appreciate this."

"Well, this wasn't for you lot," Sirius joked, nudging Vanessa with his elbow. She chuckled.

The two stared out into the lake for a few more minutes, the silence lulling Vanessa into drowsiness. She let out a soft yawn, her muscles tightening before stretching out again. Sirius wanted to comment on her sleepiness, but was afraid that she'd leave if he actually called it out. So he didn't.

He just sat next to the girl and smiled to himself when he felt her head gently land on his shoulder.

* * * *

* * * *

Vanessa woke up to the feeling that she was in foreign territory. And she wasn't wrong. Instead of seeing silver drapes and green blankets, she saw red and gold flags, Quidditch equipment, posters of half-naked no-maj women, and a mob of brown hair extremely deep into the Marauder's Map. The last time she worked on it, it was mostly done.

The girl sighed groggily and stretched out her muscles, James' head turning to look at her. "Afternoon, Vixen. How was your nap?"

"Quite enjoyable, actually." James muttered an amused 'oh' and continued to scan the map. "Who brought me in here?"

"Padfoot."

Now it was Vanessa's time to say 'oh.' She sat up on the bed and scanned the room only to see that Sirius wasn't in there. "Is he with Marlene right now?"

James looked up from the map once more, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Is Sirius with her right now?" She asked again. "I mean, it would make sense. They are together?"

"What the bloody hell are you blabbering about, Vixen?" James chuckled. "Padfoot isn't dating Marlene."

"He isn't?"

"No," James continued, "He hasn't dated her at all, actually. In fact, he hasn't even talked to her since the Valentine's Day incident."

"He hasn't?" Vanessa's voice increased in volume as she slowly got off the bed. James shook his head 'no' in response. "I have to go find Sirius."

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I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good—Fifth Year (Part Three 4/5)

February 14, 1976

Vanessa woke up wrapped up in her Slytherin blankets, the weight of the silver comforter on top of all of them pinning her to the bed. She rolled onto her back and drowsily kicked them all off her body. There was saliva crusted onto the left corner of her mouth and her hair was parted in different places (that was he only thing she could see from the mirror in the room). Long story short: she was a mess. Not even a hot mess because there was nothing hot about it.

She changed out of yesterday's clothes and into something a bit more comfortable. She had a Lynyrd Skynyrd muscle tee she had packed that she hadn't worn yet. She threw that on along with a pair of jeans and a Slytherin sweater. As for her hair, she just untangled it and let it loose.

The girl walked into the Great Hall half an hour later, her legs taking her away from the Gryffindor table she usually sat at for breakfast and towards the Slytherin table. Surprisingly, she didn't feel like seeing the new Hogwarts couple relish in Valentine's Day—the international day of love. Oh, how ironic this was for her: a lonely Slytherin with a broken heart to top it all off.

Vanessa was brought out of her pondering when none other than Lily Evans walked into the Great Hall, her clothes flashing in pink and James' voice asking 'Will you go out with me, Lily?' She didn't even have to look at Evans' face to see that she was enraged. All Vanessa could hear was the (for sure) future Mr. and Mrs. Potter (at least they had a future together) bickering again, James saying that the only way she could get her clothes to change back was to agree to go on a date with him or kiss the giant squid in the Great Lake.

Lily's eyes scanned the Great Hall, her emerald hues landing on the Slytherin who wasn't sitting in her usual spot with the Marauders. She walked over to her (toast in Vanessa's hand) and tugged her out of the castle and towards the Great Lake. Out of the corner of her eye, Lily could see James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter run outside to where the giant squid resides.

"Vanessa, can you-"

"I've got it, Lils," Vanessa interrupted, sticking her hand out with the toast ready to be taken by the creature. It only took a few seconds for the squid's giant tentacle to creep over to Vanessa. Lily took the opportunity to plant a small kiss on the tentacle just as it grabbed the toast.

James groaned loudly from behind them, the other three Marauders laughing at him. Vanessa looked at Prongs' defeated face and chuckled. She looked at Lily and hugged her, watching as the pink left her clothing and James' recorded voice eventually disappeared.

"Just remember you owe me one now," Vanessa quipped, giving 4/5 of the Marauders a tight lipped smile before heading back into the castle.

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I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good—Fifth Year (Part Three 3/5)

February 13, 1976

Hogwarts was booming with pink decorations and pink paper hearts charmed to fly into the destined person's hands (most of which were sent from James to Lily).

The Marauders were sitting at their usual spot for breakfast, James munching on bacon while he charmed more hearts at Lily. Vanessa rolled her eyes at him, "What did I tell you about not being an annoying prick? She's never gonna go out with you if you keep being so annoyingly persistent."

"Well, Vixen," bits of bacon fell out of James' full mouth, "I've decided I don't need your advice. I can get my Lily-Pad to love me without your help."

"Fine, whatever you say, Prongs."

Vanessa muttered an insult under her breath and continued picking at her food. For the past month she had been replaying Sirius' words in her head. 'That's how it's always been.' She couldn't believe how stupid she was to have not done anything at that moment. Fear had held her back despite her knowing how Sirius felt about her. Something inside her kept saying that it was all some sick joke and that his feelings weren't true, so she never showed any signs of reciprocation. Oh, what a naive imbecile she was. A true dumbass, indeed.

Remus was the first to notice Padfoot's absence. He did a quick look-around the Great Hall just to make sure, and his predictions were correct. Sirius hadn't been seen since the previous night.

The brunette boy poked Peter's arm, causing the smaller boy to turn around. "What's going on, Moony?"

"Have you seen Padfoot anywhere?" Remus asked. "He didn't come to sleep last night and he wasn't in his bed this morning."

Peter's eyes flashed towards Vanessa, and just as rapidly as they moved towards her, they moved back to Remus. "I-I don't know."

The taller teen raised his eyebrows in expectance. Peter knew something he didn't know. "Peter, where is Sirius?"

"What do you mean 'where's Sirius?'" Questioned James, who's loud voice caught Vixen's attention. "He wasn't in the dorm this morning? He didn't go back last night?"

Vanessa scooted closer to the three boys, "What are you guys talking about? Is Sirius missing?"

Remus turned to Peter, "Wormtail, I know you know something. Spit it out already."

Peter shook his head, his movements full of anxiety. Even though his movements were sharp and quick, Vanessa could still see his eyes darting towards her. She leaned across the table. "Does this have something to do with me?"

Peter shook his head again.

"Then tell us where the bloody hell Padfoot is!" James pressed. His face was slightly red from frustration and he had long-since abandoned the mostly eaten bacon piece and the charmed hearts.

Peter kept shaking his head 'no,' his beady eyes never failing to dart in Vanessa's direction. Remus stood from his seat and grabbed the small boy by the arm, gently, but with meaning. He pulled Peter out of the Great Hall and didn't bother to turn around when James called after them. Of course, the Potter boy couldn't keep himself in his seat and he ran after them. Peter didn't object. Vanessa noticed.

She was quick to speed walk in their direction and follow them as silently as she could. She kept her distance to make sure the frantic Peter wouldn't see her, because despite his denying it, she knew this had something to do with her. When the three male Marauders stopped behind a wall in a fairly dark corner of the castle, Vanessa halted and hid on the other side of it. It was faint, but she could still hear their conversation.

"Alright, Wormtail, tell us what's going on," Remus inquired. A squeak of a voice could be heard, the sound most likely emitting from Peter.

"I saw Sirius sneak out of the common room last night just after they had done the dorm checks. But he wasn't alone." Peter confessed. "There was a girl with him. From what I could tell, Sirius looked very giddy and she had the same look on her face. They seemed too excited for them to just be sneaking out to study."

"Who was the girl?" James asked.

Peter sighed, "Marlene McKinnon."

Vanessa felt her heart fall to her stomach. There was a heavy feeling in her chest and she felt hot tears brim her brown eyes. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what they were sneaking out to do. And it all fit in. He didn't sleep in his dorm and was nowhere to be seen this morning. She swallowed the vile that was climbing up her throat, her arms raising up to her face to wipe the stray tears that had streamed halfway down her cheeks. Air slowly filled and left her lungs as she rested her head on the wall. The Marauders on the other side kept talking, but Vanessa didn't move from her spot. She closed her eyes–more tears fell. The only thing she felt right then was arms around her. When she opened her eyes, she saw that James, Remus, and Peter weren't on the other side of the wall anymore.

Peter's small arms were wrapped around her shoulders (she could feel the guilt radiating off of him), James' head rested on her shoulder, and Remus kneeled in front of her with one warm hand on her jaw and the other holding her own. Vanessa shut her eyes again, hoping it would keep her tears in. But it didn't. And for that moment alone she wanted to sit there and cry; let herself get condoled by her friends.

Instead she unwrapped herself from Peter's arms, removed her shoulder from under James' head, and pushed past Remus to get to the Slytherin dorms as quickly as possible.

The common room was empty. It made sense since the first class had already started and the higher level witches and wizards usually didn't spend their free class in the common room. This gave Vanessa the opportunity to rush into her dorm, crash into her bed, and wrap herself in so many blankets that maybe they would block out all of the bullshit from the outside world.

        *       *       *       *

            *       *       *       *

Sirius walked into the common room with a skip in his step and a shit-eating grin on his face. His neck was still sore from the love-bites she gave him, but he was sure he left her worse.

He made his way up to his dorm, hoping to find his friends so he could tell them all about it. Maybe he would keep some memories to himself, however. When he walked into the dorm, 3/4 of his friends were there, but not in the way he expected to have found them. They were all huddled around James' bed as the Potter boy rain his fingers anxiously through his hair. The other two boys were in the same state of paranoia and concern—while Remus tapped his finger nervously on his bouncing leg, Peter tapped his pointer finger nail on the pad of his thumb.

"What's with the gloomy faces?" Sirius asked, his fingers running through his hair to fix the tiny mess Marlene had made.

The other three Marauders exchanged glances. James was the first to speak up. He explained how they knew where and with who he had snuck off to last night.

"Yeah, I had been meaning to talk to you lot about that," Sirius explained, his eyes going into a dark haze as he remembered the events from last night. "It was one of the best night of my li-"

"Vanessa knows," Peter squeaked.

"-fe." Padfoot's eyebrows furrowed, his mouth parting in shock and denial. She wasn't supposed to find out from someone else. He was supposed to explain the situation to her, although he really didn't have to. He couldn't help but feel a pang at his chest as he heard those two words leave Peter's mouth.

Sirius didn't give them time to explain how she found out. He simply rushed out of the dorm and out of the common room as quickly as possible, his destination being the Slytherin common room. Luckily for him, classes were still going on, so the halls would be devoid of students and teachers and the Slytherin common room would (hopefully) be empty with the exception of one girl.

He never made it to the dungeons, though, for a certain witch pushed past him. It took Sirius a while to realize who had just passed him, but he soon got himself together and rushed after her. "Vanessa!"

Vixen kept walking, her legs rushing to get as much distance between her and Sirius as possible. With Sirius' long legs, however, that was nearly impossible. He got a hold of her arm and pulled her towards his chest, which gave her a perfect view of his hickeys. She felt her blood boil. He kept her there even as she struggled against him.

"Let me go, Black," she snarled, drawing out her wand and pointing it at his chest. "I won't hesitate to jinx you into next week."

Sirius slowly let go of her arms and backed away two or three steps. "Alright, love. I let you go."

"Good, now let's keep it that way." Vanessa turned around to leave him again but Sirius snuck up behind her and took her wand. "What the hell do you want, you insufferable asshole!?"

"We need to talk."

"Like hell we do." Vanessa spat, "Look, I don't care if you're screwing some chick. It's not my life to dictate and we're certainly not together, so do whatever the hell you want with your love life, Black. Just keep me out of it." At that, she spun on her heel and stomped away from him, completely forgetting about her wand.

He stood there dumbfounded for a few seconds, but regained his composure and ran after her. He reached her just as students began to pile out of their classes. Due to the mob of people, he decided it'd be best to go somewhere a little more private, so he pulled her into the nearest broom closet and used lumos to illuminate the small space.

       "I swear to Merlin, Sirius, if you don't let me out of this room and leave me alone, I'm going to scream."

       "It didn't mean anything," Sirius swallowed, "Me and Marlene. We're not together, last night didn't mean anything."

       Vanessa looked at the floor, "It was your first time, Sirius. How could it not mean anything? The fact that you chose someone to do it with means everything. You can't tell me that there isn't anything there."

       Sirius lifted her chin up so her eyes met his. Vanessa stared into his eyes. "Dare to tell me that there isn't anything between you and Marlene, and tomorrow we can go back to your relentless teasing and my constant rejecting." She held his face in her hands, not bothering to wipe away the tear that had strolled down her cheek. "Tell me it didn't mean anything, Sirius."

       Sirius stayed quiet. He know he would be lying to her if he repeated himself, so he opted for the silent road. He didn't even think about how much that silence had hurt her.

       Vanessa nodded her head and sucked in a long breath. "It's fine, Sirius. You go be with Marlene, ok? Surprise her tomorrow, but try not to tell me about it," she half joked, a dry chuckle escaping her lips. She opened the door to the broom closet and slipped her hand into Sirius', grabbing her wand before leaving.

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I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good—Fifth Year (Part Three 2/5)

December 24th, 1975; 9:47 P.M.

Natalie clung onto Vanessa's legs when she saw green flames randomly spark in the living room chimney. The poor girl was so scared she immediately ran behind her older cousin and hid her face in Vanessa's black jeans.

The first person to step out of the emerald fire was Remus, his face lighting up when he saw his favorite Slytherin, "Vixen!"

"Hey, Moony," Vanessa walked over to her friend with open arms, "How are you?"

"Good, yeah, I'm doing well. They're running a bit late, but I'm sure they'll show up eventually," Remus explained. He tightened his grip on his satchel as he looked around her living room, soon noticing the little girl hidden between her legs. "Who's this?" He asked, crouching to get to Natalie's level, "Hi there."

Natalie simply rubbed her red nose and waved uncertainly. Vanessa rubbed the girl's head and gently urged her forward, signaling that it was okay to talk to him and that she shouldn't be scared. "This is Natalie. Natalie, say hi to my friend," she kneeled next to the girl and held her hand, "His name is Remus."

"Hi, Remus," Natalie squeaked, her hand slowly letting go of her cousin's as she walked towards the Gryffindor boy.

"Hello, Natalie," Remus smiled, extending his hand to shake hers, "It's a pleasure to meet you." The girl gently shook his hand and immediately took her place behind Vanessa once the introduction was over. Remus merely chuckled in delight. "She's a shy one, Vixen."

"Let's just hope she grows out of it," Vanessa quipped, leading Remus up the stairs with one hand carrying his satchel and the other dragging Nat with her.

* * * *

* * * *

Over the course of two hours, 2 out of 3 missing Marauders came in through the Floo system. James was the first to show up. He immediately dropped his bags in front of the fire place and yelled 'honey, I'm home!' About an hour and a half later, Sirius appeared. He decided it would be a clever idea to roll into the living room, assuming his friends would be in there to see him arrive in style. They weren't. Instead, Vanessa's mom and dad witnessed his grandeur entrance and Sirius' bashful smile once he realized who was actually there with him. Peter hadn't showed up yet, and the other four didn't know if he would. He said he had some family issues he had to take care of, but said nothing more of the matter.

Vanessa laid sideways on her bed, James sitting at her feet, Sirius attempting to cram himself in front of her, and Remus sitting on her desk chair—the quiet tune of Gallows Pole humming through the room as the four friends talked.

"So, how're you doing with Lily?" the Slytherin questioned as she lifted her knee to keep Sirius from laying down in front of her. "Made any progress yet?"

James shook his head, "Sadly, no. I guess that garden bunny just ain't that into me..." He feigned renouncement for his five year-long quest, and in quite a theatrical way, too. He raised his hand up to his forehead and sighed. The common folk would almost feel bad for the guy. That is, until he laughed out loud, to which Remus and Sirius responded with chuckles. James raised his eyebrows and smirked, "...yet."

Vanessa rolled her eyes, "Don't be a spaz." She grabbed the pillow next to her and chucked it at him. "If you really wanna get the girl, be down to earth with her."

"Alright, Vixen, give me the skinny on it," James inquired. "What do you, a foxy chick, suggest I do to get Lily to like me?" Although the question came out as joking and humorous, Vanessa could tell he genuinely wanted help on getting Lily to like him back.

"First off," she responded, "don't be a womanizing dick all the time. You know she doesn't dig phony juicers like you." James gasped dramatically at that. "Secondly, stop trying to isolate her to get her attention. She takes offense to that and will not appreciate getting taken away from her conversation with another person just to reject you again." Vanessa lowered her knee when Sirius opted for sitting on the floor. "Tell me, Prongs–" she sat up so her head rested on the headboard, "–can ya' dig it?"

James lifted his legs onto the bed so his and Vanessa's legs laid side-by-side. "I don't know, I quite like seeing her angry. It gets me going, ya' know?" Vanessa threw another pillow at him, muttering a repulsed 'prick.' "BUT–" James inquired, "I do want this to work. If it wasn't for her constantly rejecting me, I'd think she's starting to like me."

"Dream on, mate," replied Sirius, who had taken advantage of Vanessa's disgust with James to jump into the spot on the bed next to her. He placed his long legs on top of hers, consequently laying his calves and feet over James' as well. "Unless you get your shit together, you're never gonna get her."

* * * *

* * * *

"It's time for dinner!" Yelled Mrs. Dobrev from the living room. James, Remus, and Peter (who had finally hauled his ass to Vanessa's house, or 'the crib' as Sirius called it) were already making their way downstairs, but Sirius stuck around with his favorite Slytherin.

She was brushing her brown hair out, watching through the mirror as Sirius lifted the stack of vinyls on her shelf. He sat on the bed and shifted through them, his eyes dancing around the various muggle album covers he was too familiar with. He went through half the stack before he picked one out with an amused look on his face. "You like ABBA?"

Vanessa turned around as she brushed the hair on the back of her head, "Who doesn't like ABBA?"

"Good point, Pretty Ballerina."

The girl snorted at his reference and continued to brush her hair. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Sirius nodding in approval at some of the other records she had in her collection. They were the likes of Aerosmith, Carlos Santana, Eagles, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Fleetwood Mac, The Beatles, and even Bee Gees. The list went on and on and the more Sirius looked, the more he was enticed by this girl. The girl in the house that was repulsed by the mere thought of muggles listened to songs made by them everyday. He didn't know what else she could to that would make him even more interested in her.

Sirius stood, placed the vinyls back on the shelf, and sat back down, this time on Vanessa's surprisingly sturdy dresser. He watched her comb her fingers through her hair as she fixed the sleeves on her top. "You know, if you ever want to borrow some vinyls to annoy the shit out of your parents, you're more than welcome to do so," she said.

"Same to you, love," Sirius responded. "Not to annoy the shit out of your parents, but if you ever want an excuse to think of me." The boy winked at the girl, watching as she rolled her eyes.

She grabbed his hands and pulled him off the dresser and down the stairs, where everyone was waiting already.

* * * *

* * * *

"Alright, children," Vanessa clapped her hands together and looked at the other Marauders with fake excitement, "it's time for bed! You're gonna get in your jam-jams and brush your little teeps and then you're gonna go to sleep like innocent children, ok?"

James raised his hand, "What if we want to do something before we fall asleep?" He suggestively wiggled that hand and raised his eyebrows.

"Then you go to the bathroom and make sure no one finds out—for our own sanity, not for your pride, you wanker," she glanced at the rest of the Marauders. "Any other questions?"

"Can I sleep with you?"

"Nope," Vanessa replied, popping the 'p.' "Any other questions?"

Peter momentarily raised his hand and then put it back down when Vanessa looked at him. "Where are we going to sleep?" He gestured to the four male Marauders.

"Finally, a decent question," the female groaned. "I don't have enough couches for you all to sleep on one, so three of you will be fortunate enough to sleep on a couch and the fourth one is going to either sleep on the floor or share with one of you." The three boys looked at each other with the same expressions before scattering downstairs into the living room.

Vanessa could see from the upstairs railing that James had gotten to the comfiest couch, Peter turned into a rat to quickly scurry off to the couch closest to the staircase (smart boy), and Remus and Sirius were left to fight over the last couch. She amusingly watched Moony give his friend various reasons why he should get the couch, but all attempts seemed fruitless. That is until Remus muttered something to Sirius that was inaudible to Vanessa, but had certainly convinced Black.

Vanessa didn't stick around to see what their arrangement was. She turned around and made her way into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her and walking over to her dresser to pick out some bedtime clothing. After changing into her pajamas and putting her hair up, she laid down under her covers and pulled them up to her chin.

The girl was too caught up in her happy thoughts from today that she didn't hear the door slowly creak open, purposely light footsteps following the wooden sound. She did, however, notice how the bed sagged down behind her and a drift of cold air reached her back. That cold feeling was soon enough replaced by warm arms around her. She didn't have to turn around to see who it was.

"I thought I told you you couldn't sleep with me, Padfoot."

"It doesn't seem to bother you, though," he retorted. "And you left me no choice! I can't have my old pal Remus sleep on the floor! He already has a bad back!"

Vanessa giggled into her covers and snuggled into Sirius' arms. Sirius flipped her over so she was facing him and swung his leg over her legs.

"Why do I feel like we've been in this situation before?" She questioned. Her brown eyes looked into his grey ones as she caressed the side of his face with her left hand.

Sirius smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes, "That's because we have, love. It's always the same story over and over again with the same ending. I try and you reject, and then we go back to square one."

"Why?"

"Because that's how it's always been."

Vanessa averted her eyes from Sirius and moved so her forehead rested on his chest. She could feel his heartbeat quicken and heard his breath become labored. Her heart and lungs mimicked his, and for a few seconds she forgot that they weren't together. After all, that's how it's always been.

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I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good—Fifth Year (Part Three 1/5)

A/N: You can already guess who wrote this... it's 6,638 words

So I’m dividing this chapter into multiple parts... again.

~~~

December 18th, 1975

Lily sat next to Vanessa with her red mob of hair on the other girl's lap, watching as all of the first years chatted about their plans for a Winter Break (they didn't call it 'Winter Break,' but Vanessa still had American vocabulary roaming in her brain). The Slytherin rolled her brown eyes at how annoying those pesky eleven year olds were. They were so immature, Vanessa could swear that she wasn't this bothersome when she was a first year. What these children needed was a good scare that would hopefully divert their attention from their own selfish plans and focus it on their fear instead. Vanessa chuckled mischievously just by thinking it.

Lily looked up from her Charms book (she was studying for the O.W.L.'s) and stared at her best friend, "What are you laughing at?"

"Oh, nothing," Vanessa sighed innocently, running her long fingers through Lily's red hair, "Just thinking about how fun it'd be to scare the hell out of those first years."

"You're such an arse, honestly. These kids don't deserve something like that," Lily said, sitting up from her resting position. "I swear that sometimes, you're too much of a Slytherin for me. Or, should I say, too much of a Marauder?"

Vanessa let out a light giggle and pulled her best friend back to lay her head on Lily's shoulder, "But seriously, though, they need to be taught a lesson."

"On what, exactly?"

"On remembering that not everything is about them, so they shouldn't be so loud when they talk about their plans for Winter Break."

Lily snorted, "'Winter Break'?"

"Shut up," Vanessa scolded, "I'd like to remind you that Americans have different vocabulary terms for your stupid 'Public Holiday.' Who calls Christmas Break that?"

Lily giggled, "Some people from the UK, Vanessa."

* * * *

* * * *

"I was thinking we should scare the living shit out of the first years as an end-of-'75 prank," Vanessa suggested, capturing the attention of the other four Marauders.

James chuckled and looked up from the Marauder's Map (work in progress), "What did you have in mind, Vixen?"

She walked over to James' bed and sat next to him, "Well, I've had some bad encounters with the DADA teacher, and there was the were-rabbit incident back in September that involved him...so convincing the innocent first years that he is a were-rabbit and embarrassing them with a false solution so they won't get 'bit' seems like a pretty grounded plan to me."

Remus stared at Vanessa, clearly impressed with her plan to prank the first years. Peter simply nodded in approval and continued studying for the O.W.L.'s. Sirius let out a loud chortle, his grey eyes sparkling with pride, "That's m'girl."

"I'm not your girl, Padfoot," Vanessa reminded him, causing the boy to roll his eyes and mutter a 'that's what you think now, love.'

* * * *

* * * *

Vanessa sat next to a large group of already terrified first years, nodding to further express her 'concern' about the situation. "Yeah, he's been trying to hide it, but, honestly," Vanessa sucked in a sharp breath, "He's getting a bit sloppy in hiding his tracks. That's how Remus and I managed to find out."

One of the first years peeped up, "Isn't there anything we can do about it?"

"Sadly, no," Vanessa sighed, "But, you can prevent yourself from getting bitten. You guys wouldn't want to turn into rabid were-rabbits, would you?"

The group of eleven year olds shook their heads 'no.' The Slytherin teenager leaned across the table to speak to them closely, "Well, I found this information from a book in the Restricted Section of the library that said that wearing a snargaluff pod around your neck would repel were-rabbits. There isn't anything we can do about the professor, but we can prevent any further creatures like that popping up at Hogwarts."

"Should we tell our parents?" A petrified Hufflepuff asked, her eyes wide in fear.

Vanessa shook her head, "No. Parents won't be able to do anything about this situation. It's up to you guys to spread the word to your fellow first years. Warn them, please."

"You're a Slytherin," one of the Gryffindors said, "Why should we believe you?"

"Fine. Don't believe me," Vanessa responded with a quirk or her eyebrow, "But just ask Remus or Peter about this and they'll tell you the same thing. If you can't trust a Slytherin, trust them, who're in the same house you're in."

The group around her nodded and stood from their seats, some of them thanking her for warning them about the were-rabbit and others asking her where they could get snargaluff pods. Once they all left, Vanessa gathered her things and headed to the Gryffindor dorms, where most of the Marauders should be waiting for her to tell them how them prank is going so far.

Vanessa entered the dorm, causing the four boys in the room to turn their heads towards her. She sat next to Sirius on his bed and leaned back on him to rest her head on his chest. "How's it going so far? You guys said that snargaluff pods were the solution, right?"

Prongs lowered his wand from the Marauder's Map (still a work-in-progress), "Yeah, those first years bought the story. There are a few skeptical Slytherins and Ravenclaws, but they'll give in eventually."

"Good," Vanessa smirked, "That's great. And with the snargaluff pods in place, this'll be a great prank to end the year."

Prongs chuckled as he thought of the looks on the first years' faces when they realize they had been pranked. To some (particularly a certain badger-y house and a red headed Gryffindor), this prank would seem unnecessary and cruel. But to the Marauders, it was something that would tie up the jokes and good times they've had over the year. It'd be the last prank Hogwarts got that year, and the five teenagers would start afresh next year. It was perfect.

Sirius wrapped his arms around Vanessa's shoulders, his neck craning to see what James was so focused on. He furrowed his eyebrows, "Is there something wrong with the map, Prongs?"

"No, I'm just trying to make mental pinpoints in my head of places we haven't fully looked through yet," James sighed and rubbed his face, "I know the kitchens are somewhere around the Hufflepuff common room, but that lot doesn't trust me enough to say where they are. Can you believe it? Not trust me?"

Vanessa snorted, her shoulders shaking against Sirius' back. When she calmed her small fit, she slipped the map away from James and looked at it, "The kitchens should be around-" she traced her finger over the lines that marked the hallways, "-here. There's a painting of a fruit basket there—just tickle the pear and it'll turn into a green doorknob that leads to the kitchens."

James gaped at the Slytherin, making a mental note to remember where she said they were and how to get into the kitchens. "How do you know this?"

"Lily showed me," Vanessa stated as-a-matter-of-fact-ly.

Potter mutter a soft 'huh' before inserting the new passageway into the map. Another hidden room down, who knows how many are left.

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I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up To No Good—Fifth Year (Part Two)

A/N _AlexanderHamilton_ is a LITERAL queen. Wrote all of this, made A TRAILER FOR THE BOOK, AND there's still more she's working on. Honestly she deserves to claim this book as her own. The trailer is amazing and I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I did. All credit to her.

November 14th, 1975; 11:46 P.M

Vanessa ran her hands through her hair in frustration. She had been working hard over the summer and during school to be able to control her animagus form. She was now able to turn whenever she wanted to, but keeping her form was still difficult. It was incredibly frustrating for her to be so close to mastering it and then watching as her reddish fur turns into tan skin and brown hair. Saying that Vanessa was annoyed was a severe understatement.

The teenager took a deep breath and stood tall, her brain focusing on her animagus form. She felt her hands shrink as the reached the cold floor, her eyes opening to see that her skin had turned to red fur once more. Her labored breathing rang through her ears, soft 'no's running through her head when she saw skin peel through the fur. She took a few more deep breaths and tried to concentrate. The skin disappeared.

Vanessa slowly calmed her breathing and took one cautious step forward. She stayed in her form. She took one more step. No change. One more. Nothing. One step soon became three, which then became four and five and six until she was trotting happily around Myrtle's bathroom.

Focusing on transforming back into a human, Vanessa took a deep breath and felt herself get bigger than her animagus form. She opened her eyes and looked down—she was human again.

The Slytherin continued transforming from a human into her animagus form and vice-versa without complications. She had done it.

November 17th, 1975; 6:40 P.M

Vanessa speed walked towards the moving group of boys, one particular male looking paler and frailer than he had all throughout the month. With the added help of the worried girl, the Marauders managed to get to the Shrieking Shack just before Moony began to turn.

Sirius was the first to question Vanessa's presence in the room, his grey eyes showing concern for her life, "You need to get out now, Moony's about to turn and I don't want you getting hurt."

"I'm not gonna get hurt, Sirius," she retorted, "I know what I'm doing."

"Vane–"

"You two!" James shouted, "Stop bickering! Sirius, turn—Vanessa, get out!"

Vanessa watched as James turned into a proud stag, Sirius transforming into a black shaggy dog while Peter shrunk into his rat form. Remus turned to look at the girl with scared eyes before he yelled out in pain. Triangular ears formed on his head as sharp fangs replaced his human canines, his legs getting longer and bonier while his clothes tore off of him. Remus was gone. The werewolf had taken his place.

Moony ignored the animagi around him and focused on Vanessa, the only human-looking thing in the room. She glanced at the other three Marauders before closing her eyes and taking deep breaths. When she opened them again, she was a few feet shorter and on all fours—she also took notice of the red fur and paws. The stag, dog, and rat looked impressed while the werewolf craned its neck in confusion, wondering where the frail-looking girl went. Remus staggered back a few steps and crashed onto the dirty, torn-up bed.

The four animagi stood around the bed, preparing themselves for any hostile movements the werewolf might make. Soon enough, the full moon began to disappear, the sky replaced with golden orange hues. Vanessa noticed the skin that began to replace the werewolf's short fur, its ears retreating into Remus' head as his brown hair took over his head. Vanessa was the first to transform back into her human form, rushing to grab a large blanket to place over Remus' naked and tired body. She sat next to the panting boy and caressed the side of his face, "How're you feeling?"

"Better than the last full moon," Remus croaked, "But I know that there are still two more left for this month, and that just fills me with dread."

The other three boys sat on the bed—as humans, of course.

James was the first to speak out of the three, "You didn't tell us you were an animagus, Vanessa. You almost gave us a heart attack when you didn't leave when we told you to."

"I wanted it to be a surprise," Vanessa said, "I've been working on it since we got out last year, and I managed to perfect it just recently. Sorry for scaring you."

Sirius swung his arm around the Slytherin. "So, you're a fox, huh?" He asked with a suggestive tone. Vanessa shoved his arm away, but grinned to herself.

James pulled her into a side-hug, "What should be your nickname, then? Do you three have something in mind?" He asked the three boys.

Peter scratched the back of his head and muttered something under his breath, making Vanessa turn her head towards him, "What was that, Peter?"

"Uh, n-nothing."

The Slytherin smiled at the shy boy, "Peter."

"Um, I was thinking—and if you turn this down right away I completely understand—but, uh, V-Vixen fits the profile," Peter stuttered, his face red from embarrassment and fear of rejection.

Vanessa quirked her eyebrow for a second and then smirked, "Vixen. I like that."

Remus sat up, his hand gripping the blanket around his waist tightly, "Yeah, I do to. And it makes perfect sense; 'vixen' is the word used for female foxes."

"And flirtatious, young women," Sirius added, which got him a smack to the head by Remus.

James grinned, "Well, it's settled. Vixen, you are now an official Marauder."

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I Solemnly Swear That I Am Up to No Good—Fifth Year (Part One 2/2)

The whole chapter didn’t fit in one post :/

            *       *       *       *

       Sunlight poured through the curtains of the room and onto Vanessa's closed eyelids, making her see red and orange hues. She drowsily turned her head away from the rays of sun and opened her eyes only to be met with a dark mop of hair. With more consciousness in her brain, she remembered that she didn't normally get this type of lighting in the Slytherin dorms and took notice of the heavy arm around her waist.

       Vanessa tried racking her brain for memories of last night, but all she remembered was eating half of the bag of chocolate with Sirius. 'I must've fallen asleep afterwards,' she concluded. But one question still remained: how did she get into the Gryffindor Boys' dorm?

       The Slytherin turned herself around and tried to sit up, but the arm around her waist tightened its grip and pulled her closer to the bare chest behind her. She let out a surprised squeak. The person behind her, who she assumed was Sirius, groaned and swung his left leg over her legs to keep her pinned to the bed. Vanessa squirmed under his grip, "Sirius? C'mon, I've got to go. It's getting late and I still need to change into a new uniform. Padfoot, let me go."

       Sirius let out another guttural moan, still keeping his death-grip on the girl, "No."

       "Sirius," She protested, "If someone finds me in here, we'll all get in trouble."

       "No."

       "Padfoot."

       "No."

       "Please?"

       "No."

       "Let me go!"

       "Don't be so loud," he mumbled into her back, "No."

       "Padfoot!"

       Vanessa felt a pillow hit her left arm, a few groans from the rest of the Marauders ringing around the room. James' voice soon followed them, "Just let her go, Pads, you'll get her back later."

       "No." A series of 'Merlin''s and 'Padfoot''s followed Sirius' response.

       Vanessa struggled for a while, but managed to twist herself around to face Sirius and pull out her arm from his hold in the process. "Sirius, I promise that when I finish changing I'll come right back here and cuddle with you until it's time for breakfast."

       Sirius opened a single eye, "Why don't you just change back into the uniform from yesterday?"

       Vanessa furrowed her eyebrows and looked down at her clothes as she spoke, "What do you-"

       Her sentence was cut short when she saw the Led Zeppelin shirt she was in and a peek of a pair of oversized red and gold pajama pants.

       Sirius nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck, "You look good in my clothes, love, maybe you should wear them more often."

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