No More Side Quests!

A day in the life of Kat: 0) sleep in like hella b/c the day before was awesome and losing REM was worth it 1) get late bfast at ikea with the besties 2) go home and figure out if you're going on a murder mystery date b/c your college sorority sister fell off the bed of a pickup truck and hit her head 3) try and convince bullheaded/lazy sister to go to see a doctor for a concussion workup 4) go on a blind date with an actual doctor 5) call sister after date but she doesn't pick up "can't talk right now I'm on the phone with a nurse" so you bring said date home instead to do a neuro exam on her 6) catch up on IG messages and start plotting an astronaut shoot with one of your idol photographers; book a mtg with studio director on a future zero G concept 7) message the cutie you met the other day and tell her she's cute and you hope her week will go great despite the two exams she has coming up

It was the Spring of 2017. I was struck with a sense of mortality.

I quit a budding and stressful career in neurosurgery, bought a ticket to Canada, <!— more —> and took my grandma as a travel buddy while she was still able to walk and enjoy the trip with me.

So cheers! Here we are a few months later, and I'm taking you with me on this journey of self-discovery and exploration. Let's get the party started!

What you are seeing is the most bare, authentic version of me that I've ever shared in public. Raw and unfiltered, is how I hope to maintain it.

I'm tired of hiding my passions.

For years I'd keep pseudonyms, find popularity as an anonymous blogger or artist on the internet, and then real life would catch a hold of me. Family. Growing up. The prospect of med school. The next adventure.

I'd leave my internet friends hanging, on limbo. They'd always be there, right? That's how the internet works, right?

We forget that behind every screen is a human being, too.

As more people have encouraged me to share my art and writing, I've also found the courage to share something deeply personal to me, which is my coming out story.

I see it as my responsibility to give back and shed light on what is an untraversed path for many, full of twists, tears of frustration, and dark corners. I will be the first to admit that I've been extremely lucky in this regard.

My privileges include a shattered, scattered, albeit highly independent and functionally supportive family. Think of how broken glass shines when light refracts across it... That's my family in a nutshell (and a story for another day).

My second family are the ones I chose... Or the ones who chose me, I should say. These are my mostly hetero(?) group of friends, my neighborhood buddies, the ones whose houses I can roll up to in pajamas at two in the morning. We'd make hot cocoa and sit on the couch and talk about nothing or constellations, climb onto a rooftop on the Fourth of July and watch fireworks with, across the water. Good people. They are sooo supportive of me and I love them to death (if you are reading this my beloved soul tribe, you are like siblings to me, I love you all). They are the ones that showed me what unconditional love feels like.

My most recent tribe is a special one. The queerdos. My rainbow fam. The people who've allowed me to express my true self without inhibition. There's just something refreshing about being able to connect with people who have had to walk through similar paths in life... there's an understanding and a type of vernacular where you don't have to pull out the Encyclopedia Brittanica just to explain what a "gold star" is, or what the implication of a "top" means in context. I feel understood among them.

And an ode to my college days, where I had the enriching opportunities to be in progressive spaces that explored culture, friendship, the power of organization, and how to function as individuals in a collective society. I got my first taste of live surgery there, dissections galore, late afternoons running chemistry experiments, and an appreciation for why people do research.

I'm only starting to realize the nuances. I feel awake now.

Finally, I'm starting to feel like I'm living the most authentic life I could possibly imagine. This year aone, I've met so many inspiring individuals who are doing their own thing and living their most authentic lives. What's not to like? I am so blessed, and humbled to be where I am right now.

I can't wait to connect, create, inspire, and be inspired by what else awaits us in the future. It's not always fun, but c'est la vie! We must always seek balance.

With that, friends-- I'll close out this entry, and look forward to seeing you at the next!

Be well and be merry,

K