I felt this one...absolutely felt it...

Dear Adam,

You were a figment

crafted from my dreamy eyes

a new color

or a pigment

none other than you

existed

and Adam, my dear

I'm wary

of the swell you caused my mind

with the curl of your left hand

writing the striped canvas before you

every time I held my breath

I became invisible

paused by curiosity of what a hand

creates

and I ached

to become the surface below you

so I washed away the memories

with tears and sorrow

swollen anger

in my ovaries

and I drafted the fantasy

in the form of a drug

like the one you fed me

with your smile

and your eyes

too much

but it was just a lie

it was all a void

I couldn't touch

im so obsessed with saving others,

while im dangerously standing on the ledge,

im afraid of the height,

but weird how im always looking down

wondering will that be painful to jump

compared to the pain im feeling inside,

sigh.

-2:57 AM thoughts ||

Sometimes I wish I could stop time, or stop living, fall asleep and wake up only when you’re mine to think about, mine to dream about again.

I cannot escape reality, not even in my dreams, so I wait for the day the pain will lessen, when I finally will stop feeling that spike through my chest at the thought of you marrying her.

and these friends of his 🤡

loving you made me love the whole world

— William Frost // Until Your Return

You meant something, you mean something, do i mean anything?

So it's as I predicted.

I'm not your type. You don't feel that way for me.

Looking at this makes me so tired.

Every year, multiple times a year, they convince ppl to fork out thousands of dollars and….literally nothing changes. There’s no doubt in my mind they’re pocketing most of this money lol

Yep

That’s what’s so wild to me. They’ve made exactly 0 changes other than adding the ‘Exclude’ tags and that def doesn’t take 130k.

You know if any of you actually bothered to click the link it’ll take you to their budget update and break down exactly what the spend the money on, over 70% of which is spent on server expenses, monitoring tools and system licences.

They also spent a good amount of the rest of the 30% budget on significant server overhaul costs. 

AO3 is literally a service you get for free and the audacity you’d have to not bother reading the very open budget plan they have, but to then bitch and whine about people donating to keep the site running is wild. 

https://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/11192

reminder that AO3 

   2018-07-20

1.569.000 users

by asking for 130k dollar 2-3 times a year, that means they ask each account holding user for about 0,08 dollar 2-3 times a year -> 0,25 dollar altogether. this doesn’t even factor in the millions of users who don’t have an account but visit ao3, cos if they pitch in as well, it’ll be even less for everyone who enjoys the access ao3 provides to 4.000.000 fanworks and to create more every day!

queerlyalex above has already listed all or most of the terrific services ao3 provides, but right now the legal advocacy efforts they maintain cannot be emphasized enough: european copyright reform article 13 anyone? same for canada and australia? or fighting for net neutrality since 2014?

so yeah you fucking bet i send them at least 50bucks or more a year for all of that. and if out of the 130k they use my 50 bucks to buy themselves some coffee for all the work hours they dedicate to ao3 running as smoothly as it does, keeping it free of harassment and adds without selling my data for it, and fighting for fanworks to remain accessible for everyone now and in future, then be my guest!

Not to mention vowing to help Chinese users still desperately trying to find a place that won’t sell out to the morality police.

Entitlement and stupidity are drugs and hating on one of the few sites that isn’t selling your info to China is a symptom 

me? letting an entire fic play out in my head from beginning to end and not writing a single thing down, thus forever sealing it in my brain as a self-indulgent relic that will never see the light of day?? 

it’s exactly as likely as you think