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@jasyntahan / jasyntahan.tumblr.com

H I A T U S • don't unfollow huhu
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How much does your love cost?

unspoken 

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jasyntahan
The moment you left is another story I would love to tell my future kids. The moment I felt my ribcage disintegrating along with the hopes I kept still in my subtle parts. Yes, my future kids- despite incognizance if in another world, I would meet you again and perhaps you are their other sole parent. But if things go on the adverse, I would still love to tell them our story. A story so beautiful yet so painful. How a tragedy I thought only exists in fiction came to life- into my hold, into my grasp. One day, they’re gonna blossom and their hearts will learn to beat for someone and crave for something. And I will tell them about you, and your fleeting love. Some memories will remain unsaid but some isn’t fated to be untold. I will tell them the moment you dragged your feet away from me and how you plotted dents in my breathing- that in a predicament you never left, their presence can probably be impossible. Well thank you, for the memories. I might never forget you but I’ll make so sure that you’re gonna be only a smithereen of memory engraved in my book my history.

fucking true (via jasyntahan)

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One of the hardest things to do in life is forgive someone who has never apologized or at least admit that they’ve hurt you. I’ve struggled with this for years. If ang pagtatanim ng galit ay isang special talent, magsiuwian na kayo. Panalo na ako. Ang hirap kasi. Yung nagsorry nga mahirap patawarin, yung hindi pa kaya.

My rationale behind it was that they don’t deserve forgiveness at all. I was hurt so bad so why would I let that pass just like that. But every time they get mentioned in a conversation i can feel my insides turn and my heart ache.

Then I pondered, do they feel the same gigil feeling whenever they hear my name? Otherwise what’s the point of holding this anger if at the end of the day I’ll be stuck in my own suffering while they get to move on with their lives. Enough na yung sinaktan ako. I will never let them affect my life ever again. I will not give them the power to do so. Therefore I’m letting it go.

Hence, be kind to yourself -forgive.

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jasyntahan

Bigyan niyo ako ng jowa pls HAHAHAHAAHAH now na HAHAHAHAHA hmu char

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jasyntahan

-x-

you were the rainbow of my life

you made my life as colorful as you could after a catastrophic storm

stunningly amazing however not destined to stay.

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jasyntahan

And now I’m starting to realize that whatever you do, may it be good or bad, people will still judge you, talk so much shit about you and pin you down. So the best thing to do is to be whoever you want to be. Be a bitch, be a saint, be whoever you want to be and fuck what others think about you because in the end, it will be your life, your consequences and not theirs!

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I miss my safe space. I miss Tumblr.

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she was always smiling, always happy she was so carefree, everyone else sees she made everyone cry with laughter she never felt pain, she kept that smile on her but then she grew up she experienced everything rejection, isolation, discrimination, confrontations too many people expected so much from her too many people saw her mistakes and only her mistakes too many people belittled her too many people made her an outcast too many people hurt her too many people gave her pain too many people misunderstood her too many people lied to her too many people made her think that she wasn’t enough but that did not stop her, that never stopped her she still became so happy so happy that everyone else still sees she thought it would be okay to hide the broken pieces underneath the carpet and pretend it never happened she thought everything’s going to be alright she kept going one day in the middle of the night  she was in the verge of tears she realized she can’t handle it she tried so hard at faking and was only lying to herself she was so wrecked, she was breaking she fought her thoughts of ending her life which was completely a waste she whispered to herself “dear please keep fighting” but her mind told her “stop! end your sorrows” after a moment of battling one action led to another she found herself lying on the bathroom floor the last thing she saw was that the bottle full of pills became only four she said to herself again  "dear don’t worry it’s all over now you don’t have to feel the pain anymore" DECEMBER 23, 2016 10:37PM

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