A Beat Up Old Car

The places you’ve been little car The people you’ve seen The adventures you’ve lead The mumbles you’ve said First brand new With a proud bloke too Then his daughter Learned to drive And she adopted you You gurgled on hills Your dash was hotter than hell But she loved you just the same As if you had a perfect shell Then one day The hill startled you Bits came away That other car Forgot who had right of way Rusted creak Heavy snap You saved her life But you’re for the scrap

@eae86

Speak

Tell me your wildest dreams Your hopes and your loves All the things that put a fizz in your blood The plans your heart whispers in your ear The things you’d never admit The things that brought you here.

I think

I think about death a lot, I think about graves, I think about hearts, stopped.

I think about catacombs, tiled by skulls, I think about fading visages, I think about tombs, filled.

I think about endings a lot, I think about books, I think about films, film plots.

I think about civilisations, turned to dust, I think about injustice to fellows, I think about learning to be just.

I think every life has its end and every end inspires life. I think there’s no god and no heaven and nowhere without strife. I think we have just one chance to make this world right. I think the way to do that involves more than just fight. I think that when you’re dead you’re dead but that’s alright. I think no one’s forgotten, or entirely out of sight. I think the places you walked still shine in the night.

ThisNameIsFalse (child)

ThisNameIsFalse (love me)

ThisNameIsFalse (let me come home)

Lost Boy

The stars must shine for you Cause no one else could’ve been so blue Yet glowed so yellow with the sun And lit the way when all paths had gone

Flames don’t have shadows But you have two Don’t fear the contortions of your figure They may always follow But they won’t catch you

Waking nightmare

A river screaming along a valley lined in skulls A man with a scaled face and fangs made of ring pulls Cigarette scented fingers strung with half burnt rolls Eyes in walls, eyes stolen from perfect dolls An ocean in my head so cold I feel nothing So violent and angry I feel everything washing Erode my peace Erode my calm Erode my painted smile and mastered “I’m fine”

Rouge

Paint me a new smile Plush crimson red lips Draw me nicer eyes Rounder, greener, not this Make up a new me Draw it on with grease So when I remove it I can cry it down the sink

ThisNameIsFalse (I’m sorry)

Loss

Push the door It’s stiffened by his back But you’re small you can slip through the crack Fall to the ground cradle him close Don’t mind the blood that seeps into your clothes Pull back his tongue from deep in his throat Push breath to his lungs Pray he hasn’t choked Finger over the gapes in his fabric skin Red and sticky and it won’t go back in Feel for a beat and look for a rise Fall flat with his body when there’s no replies Search for the knife he used on himself Clutch it close to your heart Or put it in it, closer still.

ThisNameIsFalse (fridge art)

I'm panicking so I'm writing

Everything spins, my heads screaming at me one half is shouting I need to get thin the other is terrified of doctors and needles and bones thin like porcelain wires that stab and pull at my skin why can’t it be easy why can’t i be whole and happy without needing someone to hold or be held by with words because hands on my skin make me brim with more nerves you’ll feel my huge stomach you’ll poke my swollen thighs you’ll see who I really am and you’ll fly back to blue skies where pretty girls eat burgers and don’t break down and cry when they smell meals cooking or are asked to wear bikinis. Maybe I’m broken or maybe I was never a whole piece. Does it count as destruction if there’s no clear line between what was never in tact and what’s smashed to smithereens.

Birch

Pooling red on rising laminate The floor soaks the blood Gaps and seizes Your fingers leave marks Swelling and heaving

You swore never again You remembered the pain The sting of every step As you wander that lane You’ve sunk to the bottom they’re high up above You’d have thought they were trying to pull you up What a stupid thought.

You're different with her

You’d forgive her if she broke your ribs when she walked over your heart on the way to his. A tally of people she’s drunkenly kissed is carved into your arm from your shoulder to you wrist. Oh good friend can’t you see you’re nothing but a dead end, a place she only frequents when that hole in her ego requires a mend. You’re more than her toy you’re more than a plaything yet here you are, a decorative ring on her pinky finger labelled “some boy”

ThisNameIsFalse (don’t let me leave)

Don't let go my dear

The sky seems brighter when you’re here by my side and the white clouds roll over their crystal tide and it’s nicer to look at with a warmth round my waist and the sun feels less harsh with your kiss on my face there’s a reason to put the food from the plate to my mouth not straight in the bin because the world might make me think that I want to be thin but you right here right now just want me tucked in right there where your arms are and kissing your chin well okay that was on me but you’re not complaining?