I just spit up water all over myself bitch

When he grabbed the countertop I screamed

My new, totally uneducated guess for why humans tell stories is to keep them from getting bored and cranky while following a gazelle for four hours. No deeper mystery or meaning. Some folk needed a distraction while they tried to catch dinner so they just made some shit up. The end.

The equivalent of listening and singing to songs on your way home so you don't fall asleep at the wheel.

For millennia upon millenia, humans have had to yell creatively to keep on task 

theres a theory that the reason there are so many characters in folk tales who weave/spin is because weavers/spinners were bored while they were doing the repetitve work that doesnt require much brian power for experienced workers. e.g. the greek fates, rumpelstiltskin, sleeping beauty pricking her finger on a spindle.

so the weavers/spinners were telling stories to pass the time and then they were like 'yo but what if WE were in it.'

also interesting that making up a story as you tell it is called 'spinning a tale'

in Australian Aboriginal English, telling a story is also called "yarning."

https://www.instagram.com/p/B4mEAiRJpPe

still not sure where i want to take this piece yet but… wip

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VACCINATE YA KIDS FFS

It’s a fucking rash not a death sentence, nobody has died from the measles in the last 15 years but over 100 people have died from the MMR vaccine in the last year alone. Don’t believe me? Look it up on the cdc website. Vaccines kill more then the actual disease. Which again is a fucking RASH.

Actually according to the World Health Organization, in 2017 over 110,000 people globally died from measles. A majority of those were 5 and under. I tried searching the CDC website for deaths from the MMR vaccine but couldn’t find anything. If you locate that information from a reputable source, please leave a link so I can read up on that myself. Here is the link to WHO article I’ve reference above: https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/measles

Those are third world statistics to scare us into vaccinating. If your malnourished even fucking diarrhea can kill you. Here’s a PDF file of all the vaccine injuries and deaths

https://www.hrsa.gov/sites/default/files/hrsa/vaccine-compensation/data/monthly-stats-aug-2018.pdf

Keep in mind only 1 to 10% of vaccine injuries and deaths are reported. This is admitted by the government itself.

The PDF you linked to says that 61 people total have filed a claim to VICP over the last 30 years for the MMR vaccine-related deaths, and 2 more for the MMR-Varicella vaccine (pg. 6). That’s 63 claims made. 41.5% of total claims made on the MMR vaccine in that period were actually compensated while the rest are dismissed; we should probably assume that that compensation rate is lower for deaths than injuries since injuries from vaccine complications are far more common than deaths, but lets be generous and assume that the 41.5% figure holds for deaths too (I’m also being generous by not factoring in the much lower compensation rate for the MMR-Varicella vaccine). Rounded, that’s an estimated 26 death claims compensated by the VICP. The document also notes that compensation for a claim doesn’t actually mean the claim is correct, and that almost 80% of compensated claims end in negotiated settlement where the HHS does not determine that the vaccine wasn’t actually at fault (pg. 1). Without the actual figure, let’s be generous again and say that “almost 80%” means 75%.

Rounding up, that leaves us with a rough estimate of 7 deaths from the MMR and MMR-Varicella vaccine over the last 30 years, being as generous as possible to your claim. That gives us an average annual death rate of 0.23, in contrast to your claim of over 100 in the last year. Without all the rounding, it’s actually 0.22.

Even if your entirely uncited claim that the reporting rate is at 1-10% were true, this would give you 2.3-23 deaths a year. Even when doing everything possible to twist the numbers in your favor and factoring a statistic you made up into it, your claim is not even one-fourth correct according to your own source.

The entire point of eradicating diseases like measles, polio, etc. is not that they’re guaranteed killers every time. The occurrence of their fatal symptoms is a very low percentage. But these diseases are INCREDIBLY contagious. And what that means is, if 1 out of every 1,000 people die, that seems like a pretty low rate. But when 10 million people get it, that’s 10,000 deaths. This doesn’t figure in the complications from those that survive from the severe symptoms. Of course vaccines aren’t a failsafe. Nothing we have is a silver bullet. It’s just like seatbelts–in a small percentage of crashes, a seatbelt is directly responsible for a death.But in the VAST MAJORITY, they save lives and prevent critical injuries. Seatbelts are overwhelmingly better than the alternative. Vaccines are overwhelmingly better than the alternative. For the first time in human history we’re living in an age where disease doesn’t strike down every other child. That’s the reality for families in countries and regions who don’t have vaccines. That continual tragedy. Vaccinate.

Also, “those are 3rd-world statistics to scare us into vaccinating,”….. You mean 3rd-world countries where vaccines aren’t readily available? I wonder if there’s a connection….

Most of the time when people die or are injured from a vaccine, it’s due to an allergy. And most of the time that settlements are awarded, it’s due to something like the doctors knew that the child in question had a family history of allergy or adverse reaction to the vaccine components and/or was immunocompromised and did it anyway, so yes it was medical negligence. And that’s being extremely generous; most of the “vaccine injuries” people claim occur so rarely there is absolutely no way you can prove it was related to the vaccine, let alone caused by it. In the WHO fact sheet about measles vaccine risks, they go so far as to list 1-10 per MILLION doses, and even so, some of the supposed risks are so low that even at that rate, they find no association. (Those “risks” being things like autism, ibd, gbs, and sspe.) That’s less than one in a million chances, but your chances of getting complications from measles ranges from 1 in a thousand to 1 in 10.

Measles is not just rash and cough and fever. If an child gets measles, they could often get ear infections or diarrhea. And no, it’s not just malnourished people that die from diarrhea. You can die easily from dehydration, and diarrhea is a great way to get dehydrated. Especially if you’re a young child, which is why diarrhea in a child under 5 is supposed to send you straight to a doctor or even ER! Even my husband, a grown man who knew all about staying hydrated, ended up in the ER over what turned out to be flu-induced dehydration.

But let’s go on to some other complications that are more serious and shockingly common. Like pneumonia, or encephalitis, which happen at rates of 1/20 and 1/1000 respectively. Or death, which is also 1/1000. I’d much rather take a generally unproven 1/million risk of vaccine reaction than leaving my child or myself exposed to something that has a 1/20 chance of pneumonia (which could kill you), or a 1/1000 chance of dying.

But that’s just children. Rates of severe complications like encephalitis (and thus brain damage/death) and severe pneumonia or fever are WAY higher in adults over 20. Weird how a supposed childhood rash is actually most dangerous for grown people (and babies/the immunocompromised, of course).

Also, the flu generally doesn’t kill that many people, but the Spanish Flu certainly did. What’s to stop measles from mutating and becoming way worse unless we go ahead and eradicate it?

Even if we ignored all that, there’s the fact that measles doesn’t just cause primary illness, it destroys part of your immune system as a whole. Not in the way that the flu leaves your immune system weak, just thru stress, but as in it destroys your body’s ability to remember past invaders. Your immune responses more or less get reset. You may have been immune to something that you were vaccinated against or had even caught, like chicken pox or (heaven forbid) whooping cough, but once you catch measles, your immune system forgets it all! You not only are more likely to get secondary illnesses in the following weeks/months, like a skin infection from scratching the rash, you’re at risk for basically everything else all over again until you retrain your immune system. Because that lovely “just a rash” nuked your T-lymphocytes, which are the things responsible for programming your immune responses.

Basically it all boils down to: There’s a reason people spent the money and time to research the things we have vaccines against. It’s never “just a rash” or “just a cough.” Measles is the world’s most efficient and most contagious illness, even more than the killer Spanish Flu (approximately 5 to 6 times more contagious!), and it is so much more than just a rash.

how is trump alive?? like hes rlly gone thru his whole life like That …. and no one has ever just fuckin decked him?? gave him the ole one two? knocked his lights out??? incredible

sorry to improve your day without much notice but 

NEVERMIND REBLOGGING AGAIN BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT WE ALL NEED

This is cathartic

People just becoming politically aware are never going to appreciate just how fucking hated this guy was before he was in politics. He was hated for over half a century. Everyone aware of him mocked and derided him as a cheating, greedy corporate asshole and mindless bully and this is by far not the only time anyone clocked his ass but it is probably one of the only times it got caught on video. Hatred of him was bipartisan all my life and it just goes to show how easily right wingers can be suckered by anyone who kisses their collective asshole on their pet agendas.

Never forget that the reason Trump seems like an over-the-top stupidly villainous antagonist from a 90s movie is because half of them were based on Trump and making fun of him.

The reason The Simpsons and a handful of other comedies ‘predicted’ the Trump presidency was because he kept saying he wanted to run and nobody could think of anything funnier than a President Trump.

by wolfives

This is true. I have always loved anime and was very open about it but I never did any of this shit.

And I was never bullied.

Icarly was fucking terrifying

Sam knocked out a female heavy weight wrestler in one move, after directly asking her “Hey I’m pissed wanna throw down” and getting consent. She was 100% prepared for combat at that moment.

Freddy Hacked into a military computer, made a youtube video that could permanently damage your eyes, and also turned a toy gun into a functional laser gun.

Spencer had the gift of pyrokinesis which went off at random and this was treated as only a medium inconvenience.

Carly was able to manipulate all 3 of these people, one of them being her legal guardian. Sam and Freddy were said to be able to argue indefinitely, Sam even getting into a fight with her mom for so long the therapist who forced them into conversation nearly went insane.

Yet Carly could just say “Hey guys shut up” and they would stop talking right away.

Didn’t they have a rival who was pretty much just a straight up supervillain?

His name was Neville and he controlled the government

“I won’t commission someone if their prices are too low” okay damn so you stupid AND hate artists

Artists here on tumblr have to beat their prices in at the knees so they can sell at a decent pace, take it from someone who undersells: I’d rather work for a 10 dollar commission and have that money rather than charge 30 and not get any commissions at all.

If you think someone is underselling: tip them. Tip your artist, it’s that simple. If you can’t tip then your opinion didn’t matter anyways!!!!

people who interrupt me when i speak

“who could scroll past this” me

I just love sleep so much ……. like u just close ur eyes and ur gone bitch ………… brain logged the fuck off ……… powerful