glad that im not popular enough to have an evil shadow version of my blog that exists just to make contradictions on my posts

:)

Do Not Do This To Me

if this post hits 200k im printing it out and eating it

Achievement Unlocked:

Daily Recommended Dose of Fiber

Make an ill-advised promise within earshot of a gimmick blog.

Quick someone add a fucked-up car so we can get @identifying-cars-in-posts

Ok!

1976-1977 Oldsmobile Cutlass

That car is not messed up enough. Here.

@identifying-cars-in-posts

1981-1983 Delorean DMC-12

I'll write a hauiku as a comment on this post and hope the bot sees

I’ll write a hauiku

as a comment on this post

and hope the bot sees

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

@identifying-horses-in-posts

Pretty horse!

@i-say-ok

ok.

@cat-spotted

CAT SPOTTED!!☆ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

Fine kitty appearing during our time of need! This Delightful beast only appears once every 1000 years for the small price of $2.50!

/200K

$0

I choose @weirdly-specific-but-ok ! And it's effective!

the second i saw someone chose me for something i felt deep irrational fear. what eldritch demon is this site sacrificing me to now?

oh are we eating paper is that a thing because i am down baby

If someone asks what Tumblr is, show them this thread.

@turtleneck-crowley @ivankaramazov07 isn't this magic. :D :D ;D

TUMBLR IS HUMAN CULTURE AT ITS FINEST I TELL YOU THE DOCTOR WOULD BE PROUD TO SEE US IDIOTS. IVE SHENANID-ONCE, ILL SHENAN-AGAIN

to all those who got the ducktales reference, i send my love and kisses

I’m turning this into a picrew chain also guys lots of pressure

Do it or the animatronics fucking get me also no I did not kill anyone what are you talking about

tags: @biscuits-lovely-corner @expresso4thedeppresso @funkingrn @aroacesigma @lastdivantruther @barracuda677 @pengumi12 @sulkystella @misschuchuw @someonebeatmetotheseusernames @blinksager @sav3yee @chuuyasboner @ur-local-remy-kinnie @urazayt @thelittleprinceconfirmed @gherkin-saute @vinylbiohazard @amioddlyart

tag all you moots this is not an option

also prev yes you @ivankaramazov07 I want you to do it as well

@probablyautism thnx for remembering the weirdest tumblrina on the planet. also can u explain to ur local grandma what she has to do(apologies are afoot)

So tap on the link above my character and simply make your own it could be an OC or you or your sona, anything.

ON IT BESTIE!

im here watching this lmao, funniest shit i seen

NOT THE KILGRAVE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

oh and @probablyautism here u go luv

CMON FOLKS

DO IT

here you are!!

@mystic-mae IM IN LOVE WITH YOUR PICREW!!!!!! beautiful business.

@weirdly-specific-but-ok @styx142 no pressue :)

Wild how I keep returning to this goddamn post. @queermarzipan ball's in your court babe.

It may still need help getting to 200,000.

Here's Aziraphale in disguise:

And here's a backstage shot of the Gentlemen in 1941 suits:

@tothechaos will you print and eat the entire post? If so, here is a long joke. Don't choke:

A man obsessed with trains finally steals one and immediately crashes it, killing several people.

At the trial, the man is found guilty of multiple murders and sentenced to death.

Before he faces his sentence, he’s offered a last meal, and asks for a single banana, which is given to him.

The next day, he’s led to the electric chair. They strap him in, pull the switch, and... nothing happens.

There’s never been a failure before. But because you cannot punish a person twice for the same crime, the court is forced to let him go free.

Within a week’s time, naturally, the man, who is obsessed with trains, goes and steals another one.

He doesn’t care that he can’t drive it or that he failed catastrophically before; he is obsessed with trains and his only desire is to operate one. As before, he crashes it, and kills several people.

Again, he stands trial, and again, he is sentenced to death, showing no remorse, only delight that he got to operate the train.

His last meal request is a single banana. When he goes to the chair, the executioner pulls the switch, but nothing happens. He goes free again.

The train-obsessed maniac, once more on the loose, wastes no time in hijacking a train and crashing it.

His trial is speedy, because this has already happened twice, and he is sentenced to death.

They ask him what he’d like for his last meal. “A single banana,” he says.

“Oh, no you don’t, you son of a bitch. We’re on to you, now. We know all about your little banana trick, and you’re not escaping this time!”

The guards refuse his request, and instead serve him a standard last meal of steak, potatoes, and berry cobbler.

The next morning they strap him into the electric chair, pull the switch, and... nothing happens.

“Did you give him the banana?” demands the head guard.

“No, sir! He asked for the banana but we didn’t give it to him, we swear!” says one of the guards.

Turns out the banana had nothing to do with anything. He was just a really bad conductor.

JEFF, CHANGE YOUR FUCKING URL

@writing-prompt-s

Quick! Gordon Ramsey has tasked you to come up with a new recipe with a rather special ingredient: 'this trainwreck of a Tumblr post printed out on paper'. You don't have much time as the exquisite guest will enter the doors of your fancy establishment the moment this post hits 200k notes. Come up with a recipe. Please provide detailed instructions.

Bespoke 9 course meal meant to be enjoyed by @tothechaos

Foreword:

As tasked by the prolific Gordan Ramsey, this 9 Course endeavour will feature the post in its entirety segmented into 9 delightfully ornate, unreasonably complex yet delectably unparalleled dishes. In the following, we'll see how to prepare each of these dishes.

Course One

Dish name: 10k notes of Hubris

10k Notes of Hubris is a simple risotto with saffron infusion and forest mushrooms, topped with shavings of the top 9th piece of this post, printed in full colour, regular stock. Due to the nature of a 9 course setting, it is wise to start with a simpler dish.

Ingredients (serves four people):

1 teaspoon of saffron

300g carnaroli rice

50g extra virgin olive oil

20g butter

5g shallots

1l vegetable broth

parsley (to taste)

100g porcini mushrooms

80g portobello mushrooms

100g brown mushrooms

5g truffle oil

5g lemon peel and lemon juice

30g parmesan cheese

thyme (a dash)

5g garlic

A pinch of salt and pepper

The first 9th of this post, printed in full colour with regular stock.

Method:

In a saucepan, pour the oil and the chopped shallot(s), then add the rice and saffron and toast

Pour the broth a little at a time and cook slowly. Allow to cook before adding salt and black pepper. Stir in butter, grated parmesan cheese, chopped parsley, truffle oil, lemon juice and peel.

In a separate saucepan, cook the mushrooms with oil, garlic, thyme, salt and black pepper.

Presentation:

At the base of the dish pour the risotto, complete with forest mushrooms and basil leaves. Shave the printed top 9th of the post and sprinkle on top. Drizzle a dash of olive oil before serving.

The next dish and recipe of this 9 course meal, complete with the next 9th of the post printed and incorporated, will be presented by another chef.

@one-time-i-dreamt @i-am-a-fish @pukicho

hi jeff (:

I just texted @one-time-i-dreamt

i don't what's more wild to me, how much we are all working on giving someone ink poisoning or learning that @writing-prompt-s has @one-time-i-dreamt 's phone number

I have been summoned many, many times

This post is already one of the most epic I have ever seen. Keep going!

The tumblr post equivalent of the fall of ceasar. Well can't miss my turn with the knife.

MR VILLAINS DAY OFF GOT AN ANIME??!!!

He’s tall and hot and a demon and looks like a hentai anime protagonist and also likes cute things and most importantly has the kind of nose I need on my clit yesterday.

HELP I’M ON THE FLOOR

:/

:0

:)

A little update <3

I still read all of your lovely replies! I have not given up on art my friends! I have even started my own webcomic on webtoon! It’s called Seth In Space and it would mean a lot to me if you would support me there! Love you all and happy halloween!!

I’m so happy to tell you all that I’ve made great progress with my mental health!! To genuinely be able to say that I feel happy is so liberating and free! I know a lot of you are still in that dark place. I’m here to say that it does get better. Much better! I still have some tough days but progress is progress! Be kind and gentle to yourselves. I love you all and thank you to everyone who’s supported me over the years!

Here’s links to my commissions and projects! Commissions Animal Crossing Commissions Animal Crossing Tarot Cards Tarot Readings Seth In Space

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Happy halloween 2021 everyone!! As for some good news, I came out as genderfluid this year!! I hope everyone has a magical halloween!! Patreon

I didn’t know what to do for the update this year as I felt I would just be repeating myself from last year, so I was advised to go balls to the wall

Happy Halloween!!

I go on Twitter, blocking every monarchist I find, and can’t go three posts without seeing a fight over the queen’s legacy in the comments. I go on Tumblr and scroll through twenty gifs of dancing crabs in a row, reblogging every single one of them.

It's not fair that I can't explain to people in my real life why it is so exciting to be on Tumblr right now

my friend told me about the queen dying and my first thought was ohh the tumblr girlies are gonna love this

The queen is dead. The fact there are so many monarchies still active in the world, the fact there are so many queens still in position, and yet when you talk about "the queen" we all refer to queen Elizabeth.

Memes aside, that is one historical moment. I don't feel like joking, I don't feel like treating it light heartedly. It really is an end to an era, an end to a world many considered already over. I'm actually sad.

Im so glad Im here to witness a new tumblr holiday gamers happy queen death day

I found out the queen died and checked tumblr to see the reaction. I am not disappointed with it.

OMG I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS TO HAPPEN

Well, one monarch down , I guess it's Putin's turn

We need to embrace the fact that the tumblr userbase is aging. What’s everybody’s favorite kitchen appliance?

Rice cooker definitely

*September 1st on Tumblr*

You can only reblog this once a year

WAIT ITS SEPTEMBER ALREADY??

ITS HEREEEE

Well this sucks :(

Tech companies are funding commercials against this. If you see something with a whole lot of fear mongering about prices and no more 2-day shipping from Amazon and finishing with "tell Senators Such-and-Such to vote no on S.2992!"...that's this bill.

^Also claims that antitrust "threatens national security"