to indeed be a god

my first word was dada. yes like the art movement i was a precocious child

Okay, I hate job searching, but I do love applying to Catholic institutions

Where else are you going to see this?

most grocery stores will ask you this in the first interview

watching house again

i wish the period blood came out all at once like a shotgun blast

we have to stop moralizing the human condition and start jerking each other off while making out

I have had so many bad takes on this post and not only is this a breath of fresh air, I’m gonna kiss you for it, you get me

wanna get some more detailed demographics

please reblog!

devastating to me that kids these days don't know what it was like to be a high schooler when this first came out

I will never not be delighted by the first English description of an opossum:

“An Opassom hath an head like a Swine, and a taile like a Rat, and is of the bignes of a Cat. Under her belly she hath a bagge, wherein she lodgeth, carrieth, and sucketh her young.”

poetry… to my ears..

“you’re so matured for your age” thanks it was the trauma

Happy plagueiversary

This has been the longest ten years or six months of my life

tbh i was kinda disappointed the first time i sucked a dick. idk what i expected it to taste like but i was just like “oh okay”

Cock is one of my favorite tastes. Not only that, but balls smell amazing. It makes me go a little crazy on it to be honest. Like, I cannot get it far enough down my throat to be satisfied. I’m only satisfied when I feel those intense, powerful, salty, hot pumps of cum down my throat. When I sit back on my heels, look up at you with cum all over my mouth and slobber running down my neck, hair all fucked up and wipe my mouth with the back of my arm and ask you if I did a good job and you cannot even speak because I’ve drained all of your energy out the tip of your dick….. That’s when I’m satisfied.

does that person know they LITERALLY invented comedy??? do they really know????

as above (insane in the head) so below (insane in the pussy)

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