geese?

actually

Happy Black History Month!

I reread Check Please

just so you all know the attic poll has reached instagram now. there's no escaping

he's a 10, but he would pick a person over 1000 roaches

He's a 10, but he would rather lose his home to mass infestation than speak to a stranger

this is truly on god the first would you rather that i've ever had to devote significant thought to. neither of these answers feel good

not only has this poll escaped omgcp containment, but people in the notes are arguing about the right answer exactly like the Samwell Men’s Hockey team did during their roadie

this is truly on god the first would you rather that i've ever had to devote significant thought to. neither of these answers feel good

literally an act of complete & open aggression

a holster who almost ruined the surprise proposal bc he cornered bitty for an hour the night and looked him dead in the eyes to try to give him a genuinely concerned "you know you can do better right? plenty of fish in the sea" talk

holster: if he's got dirt on you blink twice. blink twice. okay blink — blink twice now. or right now. bitty blink twice now

hi guys hope it’s chill i hopped on this post but it was genuinely just. too funny not to <3

Characters: Benoit Blanc & My Male OC, Male OC/Male OC

Summary: Jack Zimmermann can't find his husband. So he calls on his second favorite famous southerner to find his first.

Author's Note: lol don't like don't read!!!

"He's been gone since July," sighed Zimmermann. "Since, uh, Beyoncé's last album came out? Sorry if that's ridiculous. Sorry if that doesn't make sense."

"To be honest with you, Jack," said Blanc, turning the page of the cookbook, "that's the only part of this whole mess that makes any sense."

Bitty: Hehlo, everyone, my name is Eric Bittle (imperceptibly smug) and this is my husband Jack.

jack zimmermann and shang from mulan have the same character arc, discuss

on a scale of “eat more protein” to “you fight good,” how bad are you at expressing emotions

Omgcp headcanon:

The young progressive side of hockey Twitter notices something that kinda upsets them. Whenever hockey writers interview Jack Zimmermann, they always talk about how he's gay. They always find a way to bring up Eric Bittle and "the infamous kiss" etc etc. Knowing how much hockey means to Jack, they become angry that Jack is being reduced to "being gay" and not being appreciated for being good at hockey like any other straight hockey player.

Then one of the writers for The Athletic tweets "It's impossible to interview Jack Zimmermann and not mention his fiance Eric Bittle. Not because we view JZ as 'gay' first and 'hockey player' second, but because Jack NEVER SHUTS UP ABOUT HIM.

I'm serious guys, you cannot interview Jack Zimmermann without him bringing up how great Eric Bittle is. He's making us look bad."

I am supposed to work on convention stuff rn but it’s summer and  I want bubble tea and also Zimbits is the cutest thing ever bye

shitty: (picks up phone) Jacques L’Sexymann. how’s it going  jack: (voice cracking) i haven’t seen bitty since the album came out jack: please do you know where he is shitty: ah shitty: fuck… shitty:… shitty: ……….LARDS