charm & earnest

i learned that people built a statue of “Kabang” a hero dog that got her face disfigured after saving two girls from a speeding motorcycle. She died last year, almost a decade after her heroic action (x)

They are helping

(via)

neo-ishgardian

One time years ago I was in the elevator of my work building and this guy got on. He was breathing hard and looked a little crazed, and he went and stood behind me and took out his cell phone, and when some dude does that and you’re a not very burly femme-presenting person alone in an elevator you tend to go on alert, so I was paying a LOT of attention when he said, “Hi, it’s me. The doctor says it isn’t cancer. He says it’s another spleen.” Then the elevator reached the ground floor and the doors opened and he ran out like he was on fire.

Please go on this journey with me. The doctor said it wasn’t cancer. It was another spleen.

So the guy leaves the elevator and I’m just, you know, my day just didn’t recover. And I kept thinking about it and thinking about it. And on my last day at that job, I was in the elevator riding down at the end of my workday with my little box of office supplies, and HE GETS ON THE ELEVATOR AGAIN WITH ME. He looks much less crazed. We were again alone. I may have dreamed the whole thing.

Because, look. I worked in a skyscraper in downtown San Francisco. There were hundreds of people in my building, spread across twenty floors. The odds of me seeing him again after that first time were nuts. And I hadn’t stopped playing that conversation over in my mind. So I thought, fuck it.

Me: “Hi, uh, so listen. A couple months ago you were on this elevator? And you made a phone call?”

Him, slightly wary: “Okay?”

Me: “So I didn’t mean to listen in but you know, this is close quarters.”

Him, flat: “Uh-huh.”

Me: “So I heard you telling someone that the doctor said it wasn’t cancer, it was another spleen. And like, it’s none of my business, but today’s my last day in this building and I will never have another chance, so I have to ask. WHO in your life has a second spleen?”

The guy looked at me for a second, and then he burst out laughing, and he said, “Oh, yeah, that was my dog.”

This is the second weirdest thing that has ever happened to me and I think about it every damn day.

@pangur-and-grim for your animal with extra organs file

steven is a really funny character actually. he never went to school. one of his powers is astral projection for no real reason. hes a musical prodigy. he was so traumatized by the end of the show they had to make an entire epilogue series about it. he spent seven years looking like a 3rd grader. he was even bisexual

he went to the center of the earth. he saved the world in flip flops. he broke his bones every day and didnt even notice. he killed someone

he didn’t have a bellybutton. he actively chose to eat super crispy bits of potato that got left in the deep fryer. he lived in a house but his dad lived in a car within walking distance of his house. he could revive people from the dead. all of his clothes were concert merchandise. he had an outdoor washing machine. he was put on trial for murder. he broke both federal and state child labor laws

The murder he was on trial for was different than the murder he committed

The murder he went on trial for was a murder his mom committed. The victim of the murder was also his mom.

he plead guilty

He plead guilty because he was technically his mom, and therefore technically guilty.

guys stop this is my own post and even im having an aneurysm

he also knew how to cook his own dinner cause his caretakers didnt need to eat

the rest of tumblr: hehoo capybara :)

deutschblr: oh mein gott a wet Pig

oh you missed the best part

her twitter is a goldmine

So one of the funniest things about Maki Itoh is that her gimmick is that she used to be an idol but was fired because her head is “too big.” Most of her wrestling career has been in Japan, where she’s a rude and foul-mouthed heel, but when she wrestles in America she’s a face because by god do we love her.

when you beat a gym leader and they give you a badge

Thinking fondly about the entire genre of victorian hauntings that were "everybody who stayed in the house after dark saw weird shit going on for months until the entire structure suddenly combusted of its own ghostly accord" which abruptly ended as soon as we stopped lighting our homes with vast quantities of odorless gas

Our blessed tumblr

A holy site

Tumblr is Captain Planet but instead of kids who want to stop pollution the ring are the 7 deadly sins

from now on i only care about kristen stewart fending off ghosts