Ernest Hemingway (via help-n-quotes)

Irish proverb (via help-n-quotes)

My name is Barry Allen and I am the fastest man alive. During the day I’m just an ordinary son of Jupiter, but at night I am still that, but also shooty lightning

Shooty lightening.

Hire a Tall Guy™

@luckycharmspeak

Safe

ok here’s an explanation I’m done now

I love how we all know exactly what this is about

Dammit, I already had my worldview completely rocked, don’t re-rock it back now that I’ve gotten used to it again.

… That would explain a lot more.

oh

Compare

My name is Lisa.

I’m five foot nine. My hair is long and it’s dark brown. I wear leather a great deal, high boots always, and sometimes glove-soft vests and even leather skirts now and then, and I wear lace, especially when I can find the kind I like: intricate, very old-fashioned lace, snow white. I have light skin that tans easily, large breasts, and long legs. And though I don’t feel beautiful and never have, I know that I am. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be a trainer at The Club.

–Exit to Eden by Anne Rice (aka Rampling), 1985

Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin. I’m also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England where I’m in the seventh year (I’m seventeen). I’m a goth (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

–My Immortal by Tara Gilesbie, 2006

#g o d#that can’t be a real Anne rice quote

*”Rampling” was Rice’s pseudonym while she was writing erotica, mainly for this and the Sleeping Beauty quartet

i mean ….

lestat is on the my immortal train too lol

Anne Rice hates fanfiction! My Immortal is a satire of fanfiction about the fiction from an author who hates fanfiction. This makes everything even better.

@imperfectkreis

This is just more evidence that you could teach a full semester course on My Immortal.

Add this to the ‘My Immortal was a troll all along’ evidence pile

I am absurdly, pettily happy that it’s Anne Rice getting slammed with the My Immortal comparisons.

(Is it me or does “My Immortal” sound very like the sort of title an Anne Rice book would have?)

Have we considered the possibility that Anne Rice actually wrote My Immortal?

:: squints ::

Y’know, the theory of Anne Rice having written My Immortal is nowhere NEAR as cracky as her last book was …

RATTLESNAKE (a short)

I won’t …I’m ready for this

Deep breaths

This isn’t so bad

Mhm...

I won’t …I’m ready for this

Deep breaths

How to make Apollo kids stop singing showtunes

Ok ok ! Got it

Now we can drive

Ok! What do I do first

First, only one foot. Which is break and which is gas?

The left is the break and the right is the gas right?

Yes. Where’s your headlights?

Ummmm

This one

Ohhh…that would have been useful information the first time

Yeah, go figure

I never said I make smart decisions

I know you don’t

Ok ok ! Can I take it out of park now ??

Are you pressing the break?

Yeeesss

Alright, don't kill us

Ok ok ! Got it

Now we can drive

Ok! What do I do first

First, only one foot. Which is break and which is gas?

The left is the break and the right is the gas right?

Yes. Where’s your headlights?

Ummmm

This one

Ohhh…that would have been useful information the first time

Yeah, go figure

I never said I make smart decisions

I know you don’t

Ok ok ! Can I take it out of park now ??

Are you pressing the break?