anime bob ross

She knows she’s not supposed to be on the counter 

(via)

The neurodivergent experience is talking about your brain as if it's a separate entity from your self

yeah and it's a BASTARD

Ominous positivity

You will be okay. You have no choice.

Everything will turn out fine. You cannot stop it.

You will succeed. It is inevitable.

A Jewish perspective on reproductive justice and birth control access from twitter user @lechatsavant.

IDK about other Jews, but I want all goyim who see this - especially American goyim from Christian backgrounds - feel free to keep this in your pocket the “freedom of religion” birth control argument comes up. In fact, I encourage you to use it. 

well then.

i feel like ikea turns me into a different person. i walk into the swedish furniture jail and suddenly i’m a 29 year old pinterest mom who owns 6546 minimalist storage bins and names her daughter parsley

i take one look at a showroom with like a perfectly styled FJÅLBJØRKBÖLLSTORP or whatever and suddenly i am this woman

A conservative dress with children of your own race. SO progressive!

…. do you need something, or?

Yes, I need to tell you that you have been manipulated by this site I used to spend my entire youth on. I used to be just like you but life made me mature and I realize now how brainwashed I was. This site is poison, and I sincerely and absolutely mean that. You were here since 2012? I was since 2009. Please, wake up, I beg you. Please stop being misled by all these labels and infighting and utopian ideals, it’s not worth it. Stop living life for cheap pleasure. Seeing innocent people be led to chaos like this makes me cry. It really does. i wish you the best.

what in the god damn hell are you talking about……. this was a post about ikea

im short circuiting

reading this post was like falling down the stairs

Ok so, I finally found a way to combine my obsessions with upsetting centaurs and 4-dimensional geometry, and his name is Horace. I will be taking questions now

PATREON | STORE

This is hilarious and incredibly cool but also a hell of a thing to get exposed to at 4AM, especially the “Horse Wearing Shorts” bit that will be echoing in my head for the next 76 hours.  Thank you.

this is the best thing i have ever seen in my life and i am PASSIONATELY enraptured with it

ur fat and trans??? then guess what????? ur fabulous, terrific and absolutely stunning!!!!

.

#you break into my house only to activate Noodle Thrower 4000. you fool. you are instantly drowned in noodles

my little brother came into my room last night to tell me that he was gonna sew a stack of my mom’s saltine crackers together through the little holes and then left again

i ended up distracting my parents so he could put the crackers back in the little sleeve like hed only taken one from the top. i dont know if anybodys found them yet but i talked to him about it later and it turns out that theyre sewn together TIGHTLY. like. the ENTIRE stack through ALL the holes

it has been three days and my mom has still not discovered the sewed together cracker stack in the box in the cupboard

I’m DESPERATE to see the sewn crackers

i have no idea how he accomplished this

there seems to be some confusion on how old my little brother is. my little brother is 19, one year younger than me, and is an undergrad in uni. he just likes to cause problems on purpose

it has been a month and two weeks since i made this post and i opened the cupboard today and noticed that the crackers were opened and a bunch had been carefully slid off the threads. i went over to my brother and was like ‘dude holy shit did she find them???’ and he was like ‘i dont know!!!’. cue my mom coming back down the steps wanting to know what we were saying about her. we had to tell her, and apparently this was what happened:

a week or so before, my dad, who is an EXTREMELY smart and well-read guy, found the crackers and assumed they were a manufacturing defect. like he told my mom that he thought it was interesting how the machines using thread to line up the crackers for the sleeves forgot to cut the thread before they went in the sleeve for the box. my mom was like ‘idk……i think i sense some shenanigans…..i dont know from who or how but theres some shenanigans going on in this house’ and he was like ‘no really thats so interesting how they must use thread to do stuff at the cracker factory’. he didn’t take the sleeve out before opening them up, and therefore didnt see the tape closing up the other side. when he came downstairs my brother took the sleeve out and showed him, and he was mildly surprised, like ‘huh i just assumed thats how they made the crackers lol’ and he just went on with his life. the cracker saga has been consuming me for the past month and after all that this was how it ended. idk what i expected but at the same time somehow this was a fitting end

I'm....

i regularly send The Boy to my boyfriend and friends

Precious tags

to be honest, my ass deserves to be slapped 

The iron hand of Götz von Berlichingen (1480-1562), a knight and mercenary who lost his right arm in a siege [640×360]

points about this -it was shot off by a cannon -he continued being a knight for over 40 years after getting the iron hand -it was delicate enough he could still write with a quill using it, which is important as he was described as a ‘warrior poet’ -after a merchant-punching life suitable for an elder scrolls protagonist he was outlawed by the holy roman empire, friends of his used a high diplomacy roll and a bribe to get him out, and he then almost immediately kidnapped a bishop -after outlaw of the holy roman empire 2 electric boogaloo was placed under house arrest in a castle he had purchased with all his quest rewards to spend the next 20 years drunk off his ass

I can’t believe you’d make this post and not mention that his poetry contains the first known usage of the phrase “lick my ass”

A repost of a repost but I had to see this so you do too.