Disaster in progress

Does anyone know what to do

You are a supervillain who has just captured your rival’s child. Rather than being afraid, they’re begging you to let them stay.

Frankly, you’d known those idiots had had a kid for years now. You’d pretended not to, because while you’d committed a lot of atrocities in your life, you weren’t willing to face the moral quandary of whether you would knowingly kill a child just to spite its parents.

They probably thought they were being clever though, what with the blaming you for an injury you knew damn well you’d never given keeping one of them out of commission for a few months, then references to what they would ‘leave behind’ or ‘could not follow’ when in the latest death trap. One of them had accidentally pulled a pacifier out of their utility belt once, and tried to pass it off as being prepared for any young children they came across while rescuing.

Idiots.

Still, you had standards. Standards that fell somewhere past war crimes and before common decency, but they were standards.

im basically normal if you really dont think about it

head not empty. too many fictional characters wreaking havoc in it.

they should invent a digestive system that works

I need some tea and a gun to kill myself

i think my mental illness would b cured if i could eat music

I basically just repeat the phrases “oh my god”, “holy shit”, and “hell yeah” and that’s the extent of my personality

the fact that I have to be in the “right headspace” to do even the simplest tasks. absolutely humiliating

coping with the pain of living by being a little silly

I have so many thoughts that they all cancel each other out and I come up with a net 0 in the end

the feminine urge to fall in love with a girl

Enough about girl bosses what about girl losers. Girls who do absolutely nothing.

daylight doesn’t need any saving. i do

and i don't necessarily believe any of this i'm just saying words recreationally

being alone in a public restroom is like i own this place and then someone else walks in and it’s like get out of my fucking house

girls who compliment your outfit as they pass by you on the street are the very best type of person humanity has to offer