moved to @lupt

I'm alive if u even care

ho ho

secondly, there are a bunch of "(age)f"s here... and they are all so mentally ill? they need help, and i have no way of making sure they are ok. they are all transphobic, white, romanticize abuse (and i mean romanticize romanticize... they are not the sort of self aware kink blogs, these ones have given up too much) and many of them dont have therapists idk what to do they make me sick with worry

idk how to deal with the fact that so many people exist and have complicated lives of their own

so this super sorted girl in my school I was extremely jealous of she does everything I personally could ever want like she is also into the nerd stuff that we all nerds on tumblr are into which makes her like especially sorted lol she can do fashion has movie type besties is popular amount all types of people reads novels of all sorts is great at school has disabilities and gets sick really quick and still perseveres she is like the perfect motivational story also bisexual she is also very much into fandom shit and watches all shows and is great at acrobats gets along with everyone is very sincere in everything struggles with mental health too lmfao and I just stalked her tok tok and lmfao she also loves lana apparently and makes dark jokes too so she has left nothing huh my will to kill myself rn is so fucking high I think I might just do it

what is im my head please someone unentangle it and tell me what I feel why and how and where and why

.

i think i could draw well if i had practice patience courage imagination basically the whole talent nvm

i ate so much today

my brother has to go through so much shit cause i cant function lol my father hasnt talked to me in 8 days my mom today told me she is running out of love for me i dont have a singe reason to not kill myself i dont get why am not doing it

ugh now this is a vent blog and also my new blog is a vent blog my vents are distributed and i do not have any cool blog this is giving me a headache

my dad just told me brother that he sucks in studies and when he got mad and screamed and then pape screamed at him back and told him to die and then my brother went away came back 2 mins later with pencil again and went like why do u say i am bad at studies a but calmer and my father is like ok sorry sorry i think this explains my confusion with whether my parents made me hate me or not?

why new followers here i dont even vent here anymore