Friday the 13th (2009)

• Victor likes to joke that your crow tattoo is supposed to represent you and him (cause ya’ll just have that smooth, semi-eerie vibe)…
• … but Belch likes to use it to tell the same bad joke over and over again, and it’s kind of torturous 
• The punchline is “Counting Crows.”
• … I’ve decided to spare you the rest of it.
• You’re welcome for that.
• Victor sometimes helps quiz you for your dental exams, because he knows they’re important to you 
• … But when I say that bro helps quiz you, I don’t just mean with note-cards and stuff (which he does do, but still - there’s more)
• Let’s just say… he’s down to get really, really involved in your education
• Or, fuck it, let’s just say it outright: Victor Criss will let you use his mouth to learn the locations/definitions of things, and even lets you practice procedures on him once in a while (only for run-of-the-mill cleanings though)
• You can touch the dude’s teeth and everything - he won’t move 
• Criss-level labor of love? I think yes 
• * Sad, but still somewhat hilarious side-note *
• Every once in a while, Henry asks you a “hypothetical” question about sore teeth
• It’s always something relatively offhanded (i.e. what “stuff” works for tooth pain, if knocking a tooth out will make it stop hurting, etc.) but it’s pretty obvious that he has a cavity somewhere in that macho Bowers head of his, and he just doesn’t want to ask for help
• You always try to give him advice that nudges him toward seeing a professional (”Try this, and see someone if it doesn’t work,” etc.), but I think we both know he’s much more likely to try to pry the tooth out of his face than to see a dentist 
• Just saying - if Bowers ever disappears for a day, then comes back with a big-ass bulge on the right side of his lower jaw… you know what happened
• Don’t ask him; he probably used some sort of farming tool, and it’s horrifying 
• * Sad, but still somewhat hilarious side-note ended *
• Victor likes to put his fingers through the rips in your jeans whenever you sit next to each other (sometimes twists his fingers up in the fibers like the sly dog he is)
• Also loves the color of your eyes
• Loves them
• … Or, at least… he did
• … Until Patrick had to ruin it by commenting on how similar your eyes looked to his (”Just imagine it’s me staring back at you every time you’re pounding that little pussy, Criss” *Highly unnecessary Hockstetter cackle*) 
• I’m just kidding, Criss still loves your eyes, girl - but Patrick will try to psyche him out about them literally 24/7, so be prepared to fend that shit off 
• Hey, guess what?
• There’s never been a bigger fan of yourself than the one and only, Belch Huggins
• Dude loves your music taste (and is pretty fond of you in general), so he always takes your song recommendations first in the Trans-Am - literally ignoring the rest of the guys
• At this point, it’s just common knowledge that you get to play whatever tapes you come loaded with the second you get in the car, regardless of who had dibs before you
• … Henry has made a problem out of this many times
• It’s low-key (aka: high-key) only because he knows the guys think your music “goes harder” than his though, so don’t worry about it - Bowers is just jelly right now 
• You constantly sketch out tattoo ideas for Victor even though he insists he doesn’t want one (sometimes looks like he might change his mind when you hold your drawings up against him, though)
• All in all, a seriously cute relationship that I see no end for in sight 
• Love, peace, happiness, group acceptance?
• All present and accounted for, my friend - enjoy you’re super sweet Victor Criss-brand life