i need to find a husband and have a baby now

this is too much for me right now

Imagine your fictional crush and your kid. 

Funky at Heart Fireloom

Words: 5,030 Pairing: Pinecest Rating: T Warnings: Alcohol consumption, incest Info: Dipper and Mabel are invited to a Northwest Manor party. Dipper and Mabel are aged 19.

Finally it’s finished! This took me way longer to write than I expected. Previously this fanfic was posted in parts, but now I’m just going to post the full thing. I want to thank Pinecestlover423 for such fantastic support in writing and editing this. Honestly I don’t think I would have finished it without your help.

“Come on Dip! Candy and Grenda are going to be here any minute now!” I shout to the closed bathroom door, glancing anxiously at my Hello Kitty desk clock taunting me with every tiny space the red second hand ticks.

My brother’s taste in fashion worries me greatly tonight. The party we’re going to is a strict black tie event and I know how much Dipper hates wearing formal wear.

I groan a moment, a pout on my lipstick adorned mouth. To pass the little time we have left at home I start to admire myself in the full length mirror. Satisfied that my hair, my accessories, my makeup and of course my gown are all on point.

Pacifica (the host of tonight’s party), helped me choose my dress, her taste being impeccable of course. The gown she settled on for me was not my first choice or even second or third but now that I see myself in it I’m glad she convinced me to buy it.

Giving a twirl, I watch the light fabric dance along my figure, clinging to my womanly body and flaring out over my legs. It really is perfect.

From outside the attic I hear the bathroom door open, Dipper seeming to finally be satisfied with his hair or whatever he was doing in there.

“Hey…” he says quietly from the doorway to our room. I prepare to put on my fake smile and choke out a ‘you look nice!’ at the sloppily worn and cheap looking outfit i’m sure he’ll be wearing. I know that any disapproval from me will crush his confidence tonight… My forced smile drops and my words get caught in my throat as I lay my gaze on Dipper and his outfit, shock clearing emanating from my face.

I let my eyes wonder over his form, from his beautifully coiffed hair to his shiny brown boat shoes. Then there’s his suit…. Oh his suit. The black fabric clings to his body perfectly, the thin, light pink dress shirt showing through his collarbone in the most delectable way.

“Well?” he awkwardly asks, my stare obviously making him uncomfortable. I snap out of my slight trance to look him the eyes.

“Oh, you-you look really nice Dippy,” I manage to spit out through my now fogged mind. “Heh, I can tell,” he bravely says, putting on his best swave tone as he fiddles with his cuff. I giggle, my cheeks going a slightly lighter shade of pink than I ever wanted them to around my brother. Before I can retaliate with an assortment of denying phrases I hear a car horn sound just outside the shack, Candy and Grenda are here. “Shall we?” He asks, offering his arm. I stride over, trying to contain my excitement and slip my arm through his. “We shall.”

The car ride is long and excitement fueled, Candy, Grenda and I squealing almost the whole way. Dipper having to put his hands over his ears every now and again. He even throws in a few metaphors comparing us to the female dog.

Us girls have been looking forward to this party for the last few weeks. Since Candy had her amazing 16th birthday party we’ve been looking for bigger and better events. Now two years into our search this one, we hope, will take the cake. Dipper however was more reluctant than ever to go to what he called “a drunken splurge of vomit and regrets”. Over time though we wore him down and in the end, even though he would never admit it, I think he’s pretty excited too.

As we pull into the large and extravagant driveway after being buzzed in by the Northwest estate’s butler (“No, it’s Candy Chui!” “Bless you,” “No!! Candy Chui!!”), we almost faint from happiness. There is so many people filing into the mansion dressed in absolutely amazing clothing I can’t even explain my excitement! We quickly bounce out of the car, Candy and Grenda dashing ahead. It takes all I have not to follow them and stay to wait for Dipper. He steps out of the car, a neutral expression on his face.

“Let’s do this then…” He murmurs, sighing. I smile and walk quietly with him, stealing naughty glances at his suit.

We enter through the large oak doors into a simply divine ballroom. Decoration and lights intricately weave throughout the room, Drawing all attention to the large and breathtaking glass chandelier hanging from the center piece (and the very well stocked bar of course).

“Oh my god Dipper! Isn’t this amazing?” I fawn, noticing out of the corner of my eye, his small smile. Caught ya. “It is pretty nice…” he admits.

I pull the out the party’s invitation, an extravagantly decorated postcard. Flipping it over, I read the inscription scribbled in pen on the back. Pacificas handwriting written all over the cursive script.

“He won’t ask for ID.”

Grinning like an idiot I make my way over to the bar, ordering a pair of sweet looking Mai Tai’s, one of my favorite drinks. Dipper follows me, looking relieved to have something to do instead of ogling the brilliant decoration like most others are.

I sip my drink in anticipation. My excitement teeters on the edge of anxiety as it radiates from my finger tips and into the cool glass, the liquid inside trembling with my emotions. My eyes flutter around the room and the people, searching for anyone I know. I glance to Dipper, noticing him doing the same as he drums his fingers nervously against the bar. I gently slip my hand over his, silencing his rhythm. “It’s ok Dippy, we don’t have to put any expectations on ourselves.” I say, trying to seem comforting even though not even I believe my words on this fantastic night.. He sincerely smiles at me, silently thanking me as he takes a sip.

A few moment later we’re approached by the host herself, dressed to the nines with a huge grin upon her pink lips. “I’m glad you two could make it tonight!” Pacifica singsongs, her eyes lingering on Dipper as she greets us. It starts to make me feel slightly uncomfortable as a tone of warning creeps into my eyes as we chat. Eventually she tell us that she’s going to mingle with the other guests. The girl politely excuses herself, leaving us alone once more.

A silence passes over us before I suggest that we follow suit, standing and throwing back the rest of my overly sweet drink before beckoning for Dipper to follow me into the thick of people.

We meet with all kinds of fascinating people from all around oregon, from all walks of life! Sometime between me talking with a salmon farmer and chatting with a small business owner I catch Dipper wondering off with some guy engaging in their mutual interest in video games. Such geeks. I smile contently as I watch him talk animatly with this guy from afar, only half invested in my own conversation.

Once my chit chat starts to feel tedious, I politely excuse myself. My practice in formal speech aids me greatly, before I wander off in search of my brother. I am not too surprised to find him sitting on one of the many luxurious leather couches in a back room to the main hall. He’s scribbling something in a small and battered notebook.

“Hey Dip Dip,” I call, sitting beside him and low key trying to get a glance at his paper. My efforts are in vain as he quickly snaps his book shut.

“Oh hi,” he says quietly.

“What happened to your friend?” I ask, scanning the largely unpopulated room for any sign of the geekboy.

“He went to get a drink a while ago, I don’t think he’s coming back,” he tells me, my smile falling.

“Oh… Sorry about that Dippy…” I say awkwardly, feeling guilty that my conversations were such a success.

“Don’t be, his opinion on first person gaming didn’t sit well with me anyway.” I giggle at his absurdness, hearing his own chuckle joining mine.

“You’re so weird Bro-Bro.” I blurt out, punching his shoulder lightly.

“Yeah, I know.” he admits, grinning charmingly at me.

We share accounts of our night so far before we’re interrupted by Pacifica’s voice booming over a large PA system.

“Guests, i know this party is what you would normally expect from the Northwest’s, but now I would like to show something different from our usual swarays,” she announces, the eagerness I felt in the beginning of the night coming back in full force.

Soon after the microphone cuts out with a jarring wail from the hidden subwoofers I hadn’t realized were ever there, dance music starts to blare through the speakers.

I smile excitedly at Dipper and grab his hand, pulling him up from the couch and out into the main hall.

My jaw drops in astonishment, the room has completely changed! Unlike the ever present golden hue of the lights affixed to almost every surface in the room, the only colours that shine through the complete darkness are the purple, red and blue spot lights running over the crowd, aswell as the brilliant lasers splattering the walls and ceiling with squiggles and blotches, flickering different patterns to the heavy beat of the electronic music. Now THIS is more my style!

“C’mon Dippy let’s dance!” I shout to my slightly frightened looking brother. I dance into the crowd, giving him a silly smile as I wave my hands up in the air to the beet. Even through his obvious anxiousness I see him smile at my funny antics. Success!

He mouths something inaudible under the booming music and joins me, wiggling out his shy and clumsy dance moves. He never did practice as much dancing as I did.

As I jump to the beat I notice the crowd around us is different, everyone is younger, under 25. It’s a stark difference to all the accomplished adults wandering around and chatting at the party before. Pacifica probably had to time share with her parents party, her guests coming later in the night. Even though the party before was fun, I feel a hell of a lot more comfortable now.

After a few minutes of dancing I notice beads of sweat forming on my forehead, I don’t want my makeup to run so I decide it’s best to sit down. I grab Dipper who is dancing with his geek friend, and pull him over to the now more populated bar. I shout to the bartender and order a pair of gin and tonics, hoping them to be less sugary and more intoxicating than the overly girly drinks we had earlier. The man gives me a cheeky smile and a cock of his brow as if to say “are you sure?” I nod with determination, feeling a rush of butterflies flood through me as I see the impressed look he gives me.

I sit down beside Dipper who is panting slightly from his exercise.

“Hey Dipper, I ordered us some drinks.” I say.

“What?” he mouths.

“I said, I ordered us some drinks!” I exclaim louder, receiving again the same response. The music too loud to hear each other. After a few minutes of shouting to void I decide to whisper into his ear instead of wasting my voice.

“I ordered drinks.” I say, noticing how he stiffens. He looks to me, more flushed than before and gives me a nod and a smile.

Finally the object of our yelling arrives, clear cups brimming with ice and alcohol being pushed onto the bar beside us. I wink at Dippy after thanking the bartender.

I sip my drink, frowning slightly at the alcohol content before grinning, the bartender fulfilling my request (“Make it SUPER alcoholic ok? The other one was piss weak and i’m not going to be drinking something that’s not going to do the job right!”).

I notice Dipper grimace at his drink, only just realizing that I requested it for both drinks not just mine, whoops…

We shout chat at each other, our drinks quickly depleted as our sober state fizzes into tipsy. I love getting Dipper drunk, he’s so much more playful and confident. A much better party guest.

Soon Dipper says something he never has before. “Let’s dance!”

I squeal and jump to my feet. Dipper knocks back the rest of his drink before slamming it down dramatically on the bar and wiping his mouth, putting on a show to look super swave. With a grin and a sly look in my eyes I grab his hand and lead him to the center of the room.

The music sounds magnificent from here! We dance, awkward at first but we eventually find our groove, even throwing in a few funny and clever dance moves,making the crowd around us laugh and cheer us on.

Soon we manage to put aside our nervousness and really get down and dirty, our dancing sharp and rhythmic. We wave our arms perfectly in time with the hip hop style rap that’s playing.

With a sudden beat drop the song changes, coming in with a delightful melody and oddly beautiful voice.

“A deer in the head lights Me and my love life Zig-zagging left right Wonder why I never wanna go home All alone”

Hazy familiarity swims through my mind, pulling a name from the ether, Studio Killers. We used to listen to their songs for hours on end. I remember first hearing Cherry’s unique voice and accent, finding myself completely entranced by her singing and infliction. It makes my heart flutter listening to them now.

“Love it ain’t easy And lust ain’t no nietzsche Papa do preach me You oughta know that it’s hard to find gold In this crap disco.”

We were sixteen when we first found this song, playing it our parties and listening to it on the radio. We were infatuated with the perfect sounds…. I see Dipper remember the song too as he starts excitedly lip sync the words to me with the largest smile parting his lips. I laugh hysterically before joining him in song, shaking and bobbing my head to the beat.

“Well you fell right into my arms And fit into my puzzle So we made love in the quickly parked european car.”

We discreetly dance closer to each other, the rhythm and perfect beat carrying our bodies as we dance. The lyrics of the song makes us blush, our words seeming to be meant for each other.

“Couldn’t read all the fine print That’s written in the stars.”

Our bodies only feet away. We meet each other’s eye, something new but familiar creeping into our gaze as we belt out the lyrics.

“I don’t care as long as you are.”

So close now I can feel his breath on my skin, as he gingerly lays his hand on my waist. I blissfully let my hands drops from above my head to run over his hair, resting them on his shoulders, my thumbs gliding over his delicate collarbone. “Funky at heart.”

As the beat drops we animatly rave, jumping to the music and delicately touching. With my hand raising above my head, I swing my hair in front of my face, my vision blurring with the blue lights and red lasers falling over us. My heart beats fast, faster than the quick tempo of the song. The “bum, bum, bum!” matching the pounding of the bass and the off clap of the drums.

“Weeks on without rent At your apartment Though it’s not convenient I find peace of mind For the very first time In my life.”

We sing together, our eyes locked and our arms embracing each other, my chest delightfully pressing against his. I let my mind wander in nostalgia as I remember the tender and not-so-sibling-ish moment we shared listening to this song.

“We follow our instincts Go to the ice rink Couples with hot drinks Welcome us like We are one of them now Guess it shows.”

“Well you fell right into my arms.” I stumble over myself, falling forward onto Dipper.

“And fit right into my puzzle.”

So close to my brother now I can smell his delightful scent, intoxicating me like the most powerful drug.

“So we made love in the quickly parked european car.”

He keeps me upright, his hands gliding up my back as my fingers tangle through his hair. My eyes bore into his soul.

“Couldn’t read all the fine print That’s written in the stars.”

I quickly think to push myself back and compose myself, but you know what? Fuck it! I stare into his eyes, passionately pushing us together as his breath becomes heavy.

“I don’t care as long as you are.”

Closer, our noses touching and our eyes glittering with the lights splashing over us.

“Funky at heart.”

The build up creates tension as we excitedly anticipate the drop, my body feeling electrified from his touch. With the roaring bassline returning I press my lips to his. My hands claw along his neck and my back arches into his touch. His breath smells delightfully of alcohol and his lips are soft and inviting to my newly allowed hunger.

It’s not like I would admit it but this is something that i’ve thought about a lot more then any good girl should, and it seems my brother has too. I could always tell that our sexualities developed side by side, quietly and discreetly tailoring our preferences to the person who is the most like us, our twin.

My feelings were never much of a secret to myself, or even Dipper, the nature of our playful and fairly comfortable relationship seamlessly grew into flirting and coy smiles, lingering touches and soul searching gazes. It’s almost too perfect. Who is better to be your lover than someone who completes you in every other way? Right…?

The electronic solo rips through our bodies as the lights flash spastically through the crowd, our quiet moment of naughtiness hoping to not be seen.

We part as the last chorus starts, awkward glances shared between us. Our figures are the only ones not swaying to the music now, our minds still ticking over what we just did.

“D-do you, ahh, wanna go for a walk?” Dipper asks eventually, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. I nod, my voice completely lost by now.

We quickly make our way through the large crowd, meeting no one’s eyes, friend or not. Dipper leads me past the bar and to the entrance. Ignoring my questioning gaze he slips through the ajar door. I follow.

Once we are alone and the blinding lights and music have let us out of their enchanting grip, we stand in awkward silence. Our shoes become more interesting than ever.

“So… Um,” I start, the right words not forming in my mind. “Yeah…” Dipper says, elongating the word. his eyes wander around the courtyard.

After a moment of stutters and nervous giggles we decide to take a walk through the enticing looking garden to calm ourselves from this rather exciting event.

Wandering through the tall tree and fluffy ferns does calm me, my ragged breath and speeding heart returning to a normal state after.

“Hey look, we had one of these at home didn’t we?” Dipper says, observing a large plant with umbrella-like leaves. I jump at the opportunity of distraction, still unsure of myself and our status.

“Yeah we did…” I reply, running my fingers over the ridges in the leaf, staring intently at the plant as I try to take my mind off these racing thoughts.

Silence falls over us, a moment for me to gather my wild mind together.

“I’m sorry…” I mutter eventually.

“Me too…”

I turn and start to walk pass Dipper, grabbing his coat sleeve gently and pulling him in my direction.

Sitting down on the large outer ring of an extravagant stone water fountain, I finally meet my brother’s eyes, a world of uncertainty swimming in them.

A small smile spreads on his lips, my heart fluttering at the prospect of normality between us. I fiddle with my dress as he sits beside me.

“What do you want to do?” He asks sweetly, gaze fixed on the ground. I shrug.

“I dunno… What do you wanna do?” I mutter, an amount of poutiness in my voice. Silence again. I start to worry that I said something wrong.

“Cards on the table?” he says finally. I nod again.

“Yeah, good idea…”

He takes a deep breath, making me do the same.

“Let’s not pretend that it’s not been there…” He says, waving his hands around. I nod, my feelings conflicting so much, I’m so happy that we’re finally talking about this but i’m also so scared of what could happen…

“I know that we have a lot of…” he says, pausing to find the right word. “Tension, between us…” His choice of words makes me blush. “And I know that… that we-” he starts, obviously at a loss for words.

“It’s been hard…” I interrupt quickly, “to see you with all your girlfriends.” I blurt out, knowing if I didn’t say it now, I wouldn’t say it at all…

“I know…” he says simply, my heart braking only slightly. “I guess somewhere between our close childhood friendship and puberty we got… Confused.” a pain grows in my chest, his words stinging like alcohol on a burn. “I mean it seems to be no surprize that we’re like this, we were on a collision course from the start.” he mutters, resignation in his voice.

“Yeah.” I whisper, bringing my knees up to my chest. It’s almost unreal the emotions i’m feeling, to be so close to someone yet so far away…

“Little Mabel probably didn’t even see it coming… she was just having fun with her brother.” I add, resting my chin on my hands. Dipper gives a hum of acknowledgment.

A heavy fog rests over us, the severity of our unfortunate situation finally settling in as we take a moment of silence…

I feel tears brimming in my eyes, regret and sadness engulfing me. How did this ever happen? Looking back now it seems almost impossible that it wouldn’t happen… That we wouldn’t fall in love.

So many mistakes were made, so many relationships were ruined because of our stupid jealousy for each. It was never easy to see the only person you really wanted to be with have a loving relationship with another, neither was seeing how much pain it caused them when they broke up… And just knowing that it would be your fault every time, that you manipulated them for your own gain… Not that much can ever be gained anyway…

Dipper was never any better, I remember how he talked to my boyfriends, how he stared them down when they’d mistreat me… A big part of me hated it, hated how much he cared. But I realize how much I would set him up to do it, how I’d antagonize him and the other boys to have conflicts.

All we wanted was the one thing we couldn’t have. It would all be so easy if we weren’t related…

I glance up at Dipper, noticing how his head hangs, his hair obscuring his eyes. I can tell he’s feeling the same crushing burden as I am. His shoulders shake with what could easily be the beginnings of sobs.

“I’m sorry…” he mutters again, tears falling from his eyes. My mind is quiet, the torrential emotion silencing any other thought processes. “What do we do?” he asks quietly, his voice uneven, on the point of breaking.

“I don’t know… Therapy?” I say, the suggestion not seeming plausible in my mind. Dipper lets out a mocking dry chuckle.

“Yeah right, who’d take on the siblings with a secret love affair?” he spits out, his tone manic and frantic.

He said it. Love affair… I guess that is all it is anyway…

“Yeah…” I resign, my voice hardly louder than a whisper. Dipper takes a sharp breath followed by a deep sigh. My tears fall now, pooling on my fingers and running down my legs.

“Are you ok?” he asks, his voice filled with melancholy. I nod slightly, closing my eyes as I try to hold back sobs. Dipper gently wraps his arm around my shoulders and pulls me against him. I lean on his side, burying my face into his chest, the flood gates so close to bursting I have to hold my breath to keep it all inside.

Sniffs and ragged breath escaping me, my whole body shaking as I take in his presence, a bittersweet affair.

“It’s ok…” Dipper whispers sweet nothings to me, gently stroking his hand through my hair.

Every passing second I can feel myself falling further into my hole of guilt as my tears start to stain Dippers suit.

What about all our friends? Our parents, grunkle stan and Ford? How do we tell them this? How can they understand what we’re going through?

I gasp for breath as I cling to his coat, sobs starting to rack through me now. Dipper pulls me closer, wrapping his arms around me and nuzzling gently into the back of my neck. His breath grazes so delicate on my skin, making me shiver.

His embrace feels so warm, his heart beat as fast and strong, as my own is. He shushes me sweetly, his voice getting quieter and quieter as I start to feel his tears drip onto my skin.

If only it was easier… I just wish I could just be with him without all this shit happening, without all the fucking taboo and judgment! I guess the only thing we can really be is star crossed lovers, destined for doom…

“Mabel?” he asks quietly.

“Hmm?” I hum in question.

“I love you…” my heart skips a beat as he says those three beautiful yet forbidden words.

“R-really?” I utter in disbelief, my tears temporarily halted.

“Yeah…”

I pull myself away from him, my hands still planted firmly on his chest. I feel his warm breath on my ear as I move. I look into his red eyes, a softness in them only those who have been to the depths of hell and back can have. He parts his lips to speak, his words small and broken.

“I don’t want to lose you…”

The pain in my heart shoots through my whole body seeing him so hurt, my chest constricting with guilt. I don’t want to lose him either…

“I’ll stay…”

I rest my forehead on his, tears pricking at my lids again. “I promise,” I utter, my body exhausted with such heartbreak…

Dipper moves his hand to my shoulder and ever so softly slides it up my neck to thumb at my jaw, gazing at me with a sweet sadness. I blush profusely, not even denying how loved I feel, even with the prospect of inevitable failure looming over us.

Gently he leans toward me, tangling his fingers through my hair. I close my eyes, his breath so close I can feel it on my lips… a dangerous move for him, a make or break move….

I close the gap, our lips meeting so softly and gently. Nervousness radiates from us, a mix of love and fear combining to make a delicious infusion.

My fingertips tingle with the wrongness of our actions, the disgusting nature of our love driving us further into our own demise. One that we await eagerly.

I slide my hands up to his neck, clawing my fingers through his product-greased hair. Every moment excites me more, a shivering awareness of his body flowing through me as I press my chest against his.

I deepen the kiss as his hand strokes my back delicately.

My breath gets heavy as I cling to Dipper, my world so uncertain and wild I think i’ll fall right off it.

We part slowly, our eyes meeting and our hearts pounding. I feel my hands tremble with excretion and my breath becomes ragged and uncontrollable as my mind races.

I look up at Dipper as someone else takes hold of me, someone who hasn’t seen her beloved brother in a very long time.

“Dippy?” I utter, my state of mind so fragile I think it might shatter if I say anything above a whisper. It seems almost implausible to me now, that I had just kissed Dipper. The things I feel for this person have always been something I never let myself think about…

“Hi Mabel.” Dipper says quietly a smile of familiarity spreading on his lips as he pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear.

Tears brim in my eyes as memories of our old conversations and adventures flood into my mind, ones have always been locked so far out of my reach that even my desperate want to see them couldn’t bring them back.

I lean into him as I start to cry again, desperately clawing at his coat and relishing in the new found validation I’ve been granted.

He embraces me, holding me tightly as if i would disappear if he let go. I sob gently, uttering my brothers name into his chest, feeling the weight of his arms around me like a warm and familiar blanket.

My tears slow and eventually stop completely, a numbing yet familiar exhaustion rendering me quiet as my gaze unfocused watches the gently rustling leaves in the garden. We part slowly after a moment, our gazes meeting only briefly.

“So…” I say quietly, drawing us back to our previous conversation.

“Yeah,” he says with a chuckle, a slight blush appearing on his tear-stained cheeks. I smile at him.

“What do we do now, Dippy?” I ask.

“Go back to the party I suppose,” he offers, side glancing at the ballroom.

“Sounds like a good idea.”

Fireloom

They also said this about offspring from two different species omg I’m gonna die from happiness if Nick and Judy have mixed species children in the next Zootopia!!!!

AHHH!!! X3

Adorable fox-rabbit hybrid babs could be canon!

I actually read it the opposite, they said IF it was possible in the real world, which we know it isn’t. So I read this as a no, sadly.

😢 I really wanted Fox-bunny hybrids…

Didn't they already answer that they would have boxes or funnies tho?

okay so usually thoughts i get at night dont tend to turn into any sort of urge but ive waited long enough

why has no one done ANYTHING WITH THIS

I MEAN????

CAN YOU IMAGINE?????

BOTH WAYS!!

MAYBE EVEN A LITTLE BIT OF??

ITS SO PERFECT?!?!!

THIS THING WAS FROM THAT PITCH VIDEO THAT CAME OUT NOT THAT LONG AFTER THE FINALE AND I WAS HONESTLY EXPECTING TO SEE IT EVERYWHERE??? BUT ITS NOWHERE??? I SAW NO ONE EVEN MENTIONED IT????

SKYPE CALLS AND MAIL IS ALREADY PERFECT BUT JUST IMAGINE IMAGINE THEM POPPING THIS PUPPY OUT

it’s too bad gravity falls ended before we got to see the real reason pacifica was the llama

“i was the nicest person on earth and they ruined my life for no reason”

Putin “taking notes” during Obama’s speech.

If obama was speaking I’d do the same thing

While it’s very possible he’s doodling, let us not forget that Russian Cursive apparently looks like this:

So it is very possible he just has messy handwriting (look at how he’s holding the pen) and is in fact taking notes.

Or he could just be doodling.

I’ve never seen Russian cursive and now I can’t stop laughing. 

This kind of thing is why cursive is a horrible idea.

Russian doctors notes written in cursive. Pretty sure Putin is actually taking notes.

My eyes….

i guess their writing looks like they were rushin

STOP

Actual cutie

See the girl right here? @sweaterstar she’s amazing and y'all should like go and follow her, like her stuff and reblog it because she deserves it

Heh thanks...

x

Reblog to see what Ford’s looking at

I never would have thought that snails would be the ones plotting to take over the world

Finn x Rey - colored sketch

The Old Prospector Narrates Erotic for the Blind

Why in the seven blue hells am I automatically imagining Old Man McGucket narrating this?!?!?!

Hahahaha… Oh, no.

A random scene that came to my head

Soos: oh man, hambone. I feel so bad for melody right now. Mabel: wh-whaddaya mean, Soos? What’s wrong with m'lady Melody? Soos: dude, she’s got cramps somethin’ awful right now. She uh, she forgot to renew her *whispers* Lady pills *talks at normal volume* this month. So she’s hurtin’ awful. Mabel: oh man, I’ll put together an aunt flo care package for her. Soos: aww dood, she’d love that, thanks. I’m just grateful ladies don’t have bowels, cuz that’d be even worse. Mabel: wh-wha…? Soos we do so. Soos: huh? But my cousin auntie Maria and cousin Christina told me and my cousin Reggie that girls don’t - don’t have those. Mabel: …… Soos: okay, yeah, now that you look at me like that, it kinda does seem sorta ridiculous on the face of it, doesn’t it? Mabel: *nods slowly* Soos, hun, how old were you when they told you this? Soos: uhh…nine? Mabel: okay, that’s better than i was expecting. Soos: oh my god! I’ve gotta tell Reggie! Wait! I gotta go take care of Melody! Cover for me girl dood! Mabel: yeah, he’s still the best guy ever though.

-Later- Reggie: Dood! That explains so much!