Happy Birthday (Remione)
My head was leaned against Ron’s shoulder as we all sat in the living room talking. I glanced at Remus and seen him looking particularly quiet. He had a faint smile on his lips but you could tell that it wasn’t a real one. “Maybe, ‘Mione and I can go with you,” Ron offered to Bill.
“What?” I said, coming out of my trance. Ron smirked at me and kissed my hair.
“Go to France with Bill and Fleur. Fleur wants to go see Gabrielle and they said they didn’t want to go alone,” Ron explained.
I nodded in understanding and with a sigh, said, “I should go check on dinner.”
“No, no, I can go do that, dear,” Mrs. Weasley said, standing up. You could see the grief in her eyes. I gave her a small smile and shook my head.
“No, really, Mrs. Weasley, I can handle this,” I assured her and she gave me a small grateful smile. Usually, she’s the one that always has to do these things. With that I left the room and went into the kitchen, leaning against the counter, trying to suppress my sobs. The door creaked open and there stood Remus with a green cardigan on and looking concerned.
“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly and walked over to me. Before I could stop myself, I buried my face in his shoulder. At first his arms just hung there but soon enough, he had pulled me into a friendly embrace.
“It shouldn’t have been Fred or Tonks. I shouldn’t of had to erase my parents memory. Merlin, Remus it should’ve been me,” I said, my voice muffled by his cardigan.
“Don’t say that Hermione. Look at me,” he said. Slightly, I moved my head to look at him. Lightly, he tilted my head up to look at him. He gave me a feeble smile and said, “You are such a bright and wonderful woman. Bloody hell, Hermione you deserve the world. You don’t deserve to be standing here sobbing because you’re having survivor’s guilt. You need to understand that. That all of those things happened because if they hadn’t it wouldn’t of led to something else, okay?” Remus said. I stared into his bright green eyes.
“What about Tonks, Remus? I know that you think it should’ve been you instead of her,” I said, letting go of the man. He swallowed and frowned at me, not saying anything because he knew that he couldn’t deny it. He delicately kissed my forehead and left the room. Sighing, I checked the food in the over, seeing that it wasn’t done yet, I walked back out to the living room and sat beside Ron.
“Dinner done yet?” Ginny asked with her usual bright smile. I shook my head and began fiddling with my hands.
“Where at in France?” Ron was asking Fleur. I glanced at Remus who was playing with a loose piece of thread on his cardigan.
“Anyone want to hold Teddy?” Ginny said after a few minutes of holding the sleeping baby. “The kid’s adorable, Remus,” GInny said to Remus and looked around the room for any offers.
“I will,” I said and grinned at the baby when he was placed in my arms. The baby was laughing and tugging at a dark brown curl. “Hi, Teddy,” I cooed and held him securely, trying to remember how Remus had been holding him earlier. I heard Ron still talking about France with Fleur, looking at her with those big eyes like he used to during fourth year and pretty much any other time that he had seen her. I grimaced at him and scooted a bit farther away. Each day, I ask him how he’s feeling about the aftermath of the war and everything else and he talks about it. But not once did he feel the need to ask me how I was feeling.
“Everything, okay, Hermione?” Harry asked setting a soft hand on my shoulder. I nodded weakly and looked back down at the baby boy that I held in my arms. Teddy was still playing with the loose curl that had fallen from my ponytail. “You sure?” he asked again.
I sighed and glared at him. “It’s fine, Harry,” I said. He nodded looking at me as though he didn’t believe me.
“It’s your birthday, Hermione. You should be having fun and being happy, not moping around,” he said and nudged me with his elbow.
I didn’t say anything but I glanced at Remus and saw him wearing a small, pleading smile that was saying be happy, please.
“Okay. I’ll be happier,” I said and kissed his cheek gently. He grinned at me and turned his attention back to Ginny. “Hey, Ron?” I said and looked at him. He apparently didn’t hear me because he was still looking at Fleur with those gaga eyes. I glared at him and made my way to the kitchen after handing Teddy to Mrs. Weasley. I plopped down in a chair and sighed. Tonight all he’s going to be able to talk about is Fleur. Fleur this…Fleur that. Isn’t she just wonderful, ‘Mione?
Merlin, I hated the way he looked at her. He didn’t look at me that way. It seemed like he barely looked at me in the first place. I just wanted to know that he loved me like I loved him. I didn’t want to hear him talk about Fleur in a way that was completely different than how he talked about me. I glanced at the pile of gifts that was stacked on the table. “‘Mione?” he said as the door creaked quietly.
“Why do you look at her that way? Bloody hell, Ronald, you don’t even look at me that way and I’m your freaking girlfriend,” I said, anger bubbling inside of me.
“Look at who in what way?” Ron asked, trying to look flustered aas he sat down beside me.
“Fleur. You look at her with those big gaga eyes with that tiny spark in them. Merlin, Ronald don’t you see I love you? Why can’t you look at me with those eyes? Instead, I go to sleep at night feeling self-conscious that my own boyfriend doesn’t find me beautiful,” I said everything that came to mind. Every thought that I had thought since the war had ended just a few months ago.
“Hermione, that’s infatuation not love that I feel for Fleur,” I heard him say as if it justified anything at all. My head popped up at that and all my anger really came bubbling over now as my fist collided with his jaw. With hot tears in my eyes, I ran. I went outside, trying to get away from everybody. I laid there in the grass, staring up at the bright stars in the night sky. Tears spilling down my face as I wished and hoped for something that would make me happier. Soon enough, I felt my eyes droop, tears slowly stopping as I fell asleep.
I turned in the comfortable bed and pulled the blanket up farther. “Don’t wake her,” I heard Remus mutter to someone. At that, one eye flickered open and I saw Harry and Remus looking at me with concern. Quickly, I shut my eye again, hoping neither of them had noticed that I was awake. “She had a rough night from the sounds of it.”
“Yeah, she did. I didn’t think Ron would do something like that to upset her,” Harry said quietly. I curled up farther into the blanket. “I mean, it’s obvious that she’s head-over-heels for him,” Harry continued.
“Harry, go check on breakfast,” I heard Remus say to my best friend after a few moments. I felt Remus shake me lightly. “I know you’re awake,” he said. I groaned and my eyes fluttered open slowly. He was looking at me with those bright green eyes and I forced a smile. “What happened last night?” he asked running a hand through my curls as he sat on the edge of the bed.
“What a lovely way to wake up,” I said sarcastically.
“Sorry,” he apologized sheepishly as I sat up in the bed and pulled my knees to my chest. “Can I sit beside you?” he asked and gestured to the other side of the bed. I nodded and he went over to that side of the bed and sat down.
“He was being a jerk,” I said, not looking him in the eyes or else all of the words would come spilling out of my mouth.
“So, you went outside and fell asleep on the ground, why?” Remus said and tucked a lock of hair behind my ear.
“Well, I had yelled at him for the way he looked at Fleur—because it was all gaga-eyed and blah, blah, blah—and about how he never looked at me that way. I told him that I loved him. Then his justification for the way he looked at floor was, ‘it’s infatuation, not love.’ And then I couldn’t control my anger and I punched him in the jaw,” I explained in barely a whisper. Remus’ arms wrapped around me as tears began falling down my cheeks.
“He doesn’t deserve you,” he muttered and held me tight. I closed my eyes and tried to get myself under control. “Like I said, you my dear, deserve the whole world. You deserve everything that makes you happy—and if that immature boy doesn’t realize that, he doesn’t–” Remus was saying but I had pushed my lips to his, running my fingers through his sandy brown hair. His eyes fluttered shut as he sunk into the kiss more. There were butterflies in my stomach. His hands were on my waist, pulling me slightly closer when suddenly he pulled away. “Hermione–” he said but I didn’t let him finish.
“I’m sorry. I’m an idiot. I should go,” I said, jumping out of the bed and practically running downstairs. I walked into the living room and seen so many people with their eyes turning to me. I gulped and soon Remus arrived behind me.
“Quit looking at her like that,” Remus growled and led me outside. “You okay?” he asked wrapping an arm around me. I nodded and without thinking, laid my head on his shoulder. “
“I shouldn’t have kissed you,” I said and buried my face in the crook of his neck. “I was upset and–” I tried to begin but he stopped me.
“Don’t finish that sentence or else I’ll feel even worse,” he said caressing my cheek delicately.
“Worse?” I said, my eyebrows furrowing as I looked at him.
“Worse because I do have feelings for you Hermione and I know that nothing can ever happen…but I still do and I wish I fucking didn’t. Merlin, I wished I didn’t have all these feelings for you that I shouldn’t. But I do and if you say that you only did it because I was there and because you were upset, Merlin, Hermione I’d feel horrible,” He said pressing his forehead against mine. My breath got caught in my throat. Merlin, I wanted to feel my lips pressed against his again. If only, for a few seconds. And I did. And I knew I shouldn’t have. Or else all these feelings I developed would come together. His lips were so delicate. “Hermione, please, don’t,” Remus begged me. “Or I’ll never just see you as Harry’s best friend again. Or an old student I’ll think of you as the woman that I have all these feelings for.”
“Remus, please, just kiss me. Kiss me for just this moment,” I said intertwining our lips carefully and slowly.
“Merlin, you make me do the stupidest things,” he mumbled against my lips, making me tingle. His hands traveled down and rested on my waist as he pulled me close to him. I smiled slightly and wrapped my hands around his neck. “I try to keep my distance from you. But somehow I always find myself in your company again,” he mumbled. Carefully our lips separated and he looked at me with those gaga eyes that I always imagined Ron would look at me with.
“Yeah. All those stupid things,” I mumbled. He smirked and pulled out a small package that was wrapped in purple wrapping paper. I took it in my hands. And looked at him. Another stupid, stupid thing of him to do because knowing Remus, it wasn’t just some other gift. I took the gift in my hands and carefully unwrapped it, feeling Remus’ eyes burning into me as I opened it. I closed my eyes, my breath hitching in my throat when I felt his delicate lips on my neck. “Remus,” I muttered and felt his smile as he continued pressing small kisses there. I tried not to have the urge to kiss him again but it still wafted there. I opened my eyes and continued to open the gift. Inside was a small black box.
“Open it,” he said inbetween kisses on my neck.
I did as he said and soon enough seen a necklace. On the chain was a charm that was shaped like a heart and on the heart, engraved was my name. “Remus, I can’t take this,” I said, trying to hand it back to him but he just shook his head and pushed it back towards me.
“It’s for you,” he said and placed a kiss on my forehead before walking inside. I held the chain loosely in my hand. I wished he would quit being so amazing to me.
