Silly things happen on tumblr dot com

This joke got no reaction at all on Facebook so I'm sharing it here where it'll be appreciated

You honestly made it better

so my roommate is completely straight edge like no drugs no alcohol etc and so im sure y’all can imagine my surprise when i saw she brought home this sign

so i immediately inquired

and now you may ask. what the fuck did my roommate think that sign meant? well

anyways i moved the sign so it’s now front and center in our living room and ive been laughing every time i pass it

Hold on i need to ask my friend Claudia, who is a college student and edits wikipedia something real quick...

THIS IS MY FRIEND CLAUDIA

happy ides of march

[ID: A screenshot from Fallout NV that says, “Critical Strike on Caesar” with a grinning Vault Boy next to it. /End ID]

if you're learning how to cook or branching out or feel like you just are not a very good cook or can't cook at all it is so important to know that when experienced cooks say they're measuring with their heart they are lying to you. They are measuring with their intuition, instinct, and experience, all of which are built by following recipes (written or taught by family), experimenting a lot, or some combination of the two: no matter how they learned, they learned it through cooking way more than you have. If you're trying to cook based on instinct or the assumption that you should just be able to figure it out and you don't like how your food comes out or you don't know where to start, find recipes and follow them to the letter. There is nothing wrong with looking up how to scramble eggs or make a stir fry. It will make your cooking better and easier, I promise.

I am a very experienced cook. I cook near daily, I bake a lot, I write recipes, and I rarely *use an implement* to measure ingredients while cooking. This is because I have years and years of experience figuring out how to adjust recipes to my tastes and I know that I can eyeball the amount of starch or salt or flour to put into a recipe. I'm not measuring "one tablespoon" of starch, I'm just shaking in what looks right, which is approximately a tablespoon and I know what too much or too little looks like because I've measured a lot of tablespoons in my time.

And STILL, even with that knowledge, if I'm trying to cook something for the first time I'll usually try making four or five different recipes before I combine what I like out of all of them into my "standard" recipe.

And even if I'm cooking something that I'm familiar with but haven't cooked in a while or haven't written my recipe for, I may look up a video or check a recipe or two as a refresher. For example, I almost never cook pork, so I flip open my betty crocker cookbook and check the weight and temp charts any time I pick up a pork loin. (The betty crocker cookbook is a good basic book with handy charts that is inexpensive and easy to follow if you're looking for something that has a wide variety of recipes to try)

AND STILL, with all of that, I use measuring cups and measuring spoons for nearly everything when I'm baking. Baking has a lower margin of error than cooking. You can maybe get away with eyeballing the poppyseeds in lemon poppyseed muffins or the chocolate chips in chocolate chip cookies, but you cannot get away with eyeballing the baking powder. Knowing what you do and do not have to measure exactly is another dimension of the skills that come along with experience.

Cooking is a skill that takes practice. It gets easier as you go along and you should never feel bad for using reference or looking up techniques. Nobody "just knows" how to cook well, they all had to learn.

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - 7x04 Take Me Out to the Holo-Suite

What the fuck is star trek about

I had to find a picture of this 2017 article again because it's just so iconic.

I can see why they cast him as the token dwarf ngl

My boss was like “Do you have any idea how much money we’re losing” like who cares, it’s not like they would give it to me otherwise

Have our investors tried making coffee at home and not eating out so much?

Have you tried carpooling?

Concept: a mermaid who collects human artifacts, but, like, exclusively objects that humans have dramatically cast into the sea in moments of high emotion, catharsis, or personal revelation. Each item is carefully mounted above a little index card that outlines the circumstances of its hurling in terse, clinical prose.

How many outdated cellphones does she have from businessmen who realize that Family is more important?

Fewer than you’d think. For a variety of fascinating demographic and cultural reasons, importance-of-family cell phones are considerably more likely to be hurled into lakes than oceans. She’s co-authored a paper on the subject that’s due to be published next month.

I hope it’s been pier reviewed

I want to write a movie that is sort of the flip side of a Hallmark holiday movie. Not an anti-Hallmark movie, just like the other side of the same coin.

It starts with a well-dressed professional woman driving a convertible along a country road, autumn foliage in the background, terribly scenic. She turns onto a dirt road/long driveway, and stops next to a field of Christmas trees, all growing in neat, ordered rows, perfectly trimmed and pruned to form. She steps out of the car--no, she's not wearing high-heels, give her some sense!--and knocks on the door of a worn but nice-looking farmhouse. An older woman, late fifties maybe, answers the door, looking a bit puzzled. The younger woman asks if she can buy a Christmas tree now, today. The older woman says they don't do retail sales--and the younger woman breaks down crying.

Cut to the two women sitting at the kitchen table with cups of tea. The young woman (Michelle), no longer actively crying, explains that her mother loves Christmas more than anything, but is in the hospital with end-stage cancer. Her doctors don't think she'll live to see December, let alone Christmas. Nobody is selling Christmas trees in September, so could the older woman please make an exception, just this once? The older woman (Helen) regretfully explains that they have a contract to sell their trees that forbids outside sales. The younger woman nods, starts to stand up, but the older woman stops her with a hand and asks her what hospital her mother is in. After she answers the older woman says that "my Joe" will deliver a tree the next day. "Contract says I can't sell you a tree, but nothing says I can't give you one."

Next day "Joe" shows up at the hospital in flannel and jeans, with a smallish tree over her shoulder. Oh, whoops, that's Jo, Helen's daughter, short for Joanna, not Joe. Jo sets up the tree and even pulls out a box of lights and ornaments. Mother watches from hospital bed with a big smile as Jo and Michelle decorate the tree. Cue "end of movie" type sappiness as nurses and other patients gather in the doorway, smiling at the tree.

Cut to Michelle sitting in her dark apartment, clutching a mug of tea, staring out at the falling snow and the Christmas lights outside. Her apartment has no tree, no decorations, nothing. She starts at a knock on the door, goes to open it. Jo is standing there, again holding a tree over her shoulder.

Plot develops: the second tree is a gift, because Michelle might as well get it as the bank. The contract for the tree sales was an /option/ contract, which prevents them from selling to anyone else, but doesn't guarantee the sale. The corporation with the option isn't going to buy the trees, but Helen and Jo can't sell them anywhere else, and basically they get nothing. They'll lose the farm without the year's income. Michelle asks to see the contract and Jo promises to email it to her.

Next day at a very upscale law firm, Michelle asks at the end of a staff meeting if anyone in contract law still needs pro bono hours for the year. No one does, but a senior partner (Abe) takes her to his office and asks about it. She says the contract looks hinky to her ("Is that a legal term?" "Yes.") but contract law's not her thing. He raises an eyebrow and she grins and pulls a sheaf of paper out of her bag and hands it over. He reads it over, then looks up at her. "They signed this?"

More plot develops. Abe calls in underlings--interns, paralegals, whatever--and the contract is examined, dissected, and ultimately shredded (metaphorically). It's worse even than it looks--on January 1st Helen and Jo will have to repay the advanced they received at signing. The corporation has bought up a suspicious number of Christmas tree farms in previous years after foreclosure, etc.

Cut to Abe explaining all this to Helen and Jo while sitting with them and Michelle in a very swanky conference room. The firm is willing to take on the case pro bono, hopefully as a class's action suit for other farmers trapped by the contract--but there's no way it can go to court before January. Which will be too late to save the farm's income for the year. They might get enough in damages to tide them over, but….

After Michelle sees Helen and Jo out, she comes back and asks Abe if there's anything they can do immediately. Abe looks thoughtful for a long moment, then gets a really shark-like grin on his face. "Maybe…."

Cut to Helen wearing a bathrobe, coming into her kitchen in the morning. She looks out the window…and there's a food truck stopped in her driveway. She pulls a coat on over her robe and goes out--two more trucks have pulled up while she does this. Driver of the first truck asks her where they park. Another truck pulls up behind the others. Behind that is a black BMW--Abe rolls down the window and waves. Helen directs the trucks to the empty field/yard next to the house. Abe pulls up next to Helen's car and Jo's truck and parks. He and Michelle get out--Abe wearing a total power suit, Michelle in weekend casual.

The case will be easier if the corporation initially sues them for violating the (uninforcible!) contract, rather than them suing to corporation (damn if I know, but it's movie logic). So they're going to sell the trees now, and rounded up some food trucks and whatnot to draw people in.

Cue montage of Jo and Michelle running around helping people set up while Abe and Helen watch from the kitchen table. The table starts out covered in file folders…and slowly gains coffee cups and plates of cinnamon rolls. It becomes increasingly clear here that Abe and Helen are becoming as close as Jo and Michelle.

Everything gets set up and a very urban, very motley crowd appears--tats and studs and multiracial couples and LGBTQ parents and everything--and everyone is having a wonderful time eating funnel cake and choosing their tree so Jo and a bunch of rainbow-haired elves can cut it for them. At which point someone shows up from the corporation (maybe with a sheriff's deputy?) and starts yelling at Helen, who's running checkout. And suddenly Abe appears from the house and you realize why he's wearing that suit on a Saturday….

Cue confrontation and corporate flunky running off with their tail between their legs, blustering about suing. Cue Jo kissing Michelle. Cue Helen walking over and putting a hand on Abe's shoulder and smiling at her.

I want the lawyers to be the heroes because they are lawyers and know the law. I want a lesbian who lives in the country with her mother. I want urbanites to turn out as a community to help someone who isn't even part of their community. I want Michelle to keep working at her high-power job, loving Christmas and grieving her mother.

Look, as long you have a fight 15 minutes before the end the movie between the lovers and they make up, it’s all Hallmark Movie

VIZ Media just put a bunch of official, complete anime on YouTube for free

Exactly what it says on the tin. Here's the link to the official article from Viz. There are ads* ofc but to be able to watch these for free in HD is a pretty big deal.

Note that they are all Japanese dub, English sub. (The subtitles are not YouTube captions but part of the video itself, for whomever it may concern)

Here's the current list w/ links to the official playlists:

I hope this helps someone who's been wanting to watch one these shows! I know most people don't get news from Viz so I didn't want this to just go quietly under the radar because this is actually p nice to have in a world where you either have to pay for or pirate everything. I really hope they add more titles in the future!

*Also, they say ads but I use Firefox w/ uBlock and all the other anti-capitalist goodies and I've watched the first SM episode and gotten no ads so this may actually be an avoidable thing for a lot of us so like,,, go watch some free anime luv lmao

EDIT: I have been informed that this is not available in counties outside of America. Which isn't surprising but is disappointing. If someone w/ a VPN wants to let me know if they can work around this lmk and I'll update here.

EDIT 2: Quote from an Anon:

Tysm for letting me know Anon!!

EDIT 3: Via @eunbinppap

#one of protonvpn's free options is the us

reminder that there’s a scene from the clone wars cartoon where c3po literally does a striptease

I DID NOT NEED TO FEEL THIS WAY ABOUT C3PO AT 2:15AM ON FUCKING CHRISTMAS

@thechiyodan

Out of all the times of the year this could’ve been posted, WHY CHRISTMAS?

Welcome to Build-a-Frog!

Click here to enter

gUyS please click the link you won’t regret it

Its been so long since Build-a-Frog came across my dash. I needed them today :)

im sobbing omg

Please do build a frog its very nice

archers gloves vs digital artist gloves being opposite of one another

Much like how archers and digital artists are mortal enemies

Behold, the digital artchery glove!

….but Wait…

…….!!!

FUCKA YOUUU!!!!!

Ok but wgat if we held hands…..

and we both had carpal tunnel syndrome 😳

not carpal tunnel syndrome 😫