Blog Activity Update (BLOG CLOSED)

btw there's no hard barriers between any queer identities- where one identity ends and another begins, they meld together, creating a gradient between the two, and every other identity around it. it's one big gradient, not rigid boxes that can never be touched by one another. queerness involves embracing those gray areas, celebrating them, and the lives of people who occupy them. being unique does not involve casting away those who are similar to you- there are no barriers between different queers, we are all part of the the same beautiful tapestry.

Piggybacking off this post I made last night, but I think two things can be true at once:

Being diagnosed or undiagnosed can both be disadvantages. Neither a state of diagnosis nor undiagnosis can be more "beneficial" because both can be harmful dependent on the situation. We need to be open to the possibility that a diagnosis can be helpful, harmful, a mix, or neither, and not having a diagnosis can also be helpful, harmful, a mix, or neither.

Basically, disability is complex. We live in an ableist world that simultaneously demands disabled people adhere to strict standards but also just not exist in the first place. It's hard enough to navigate diagnosis, and making it harder is only going to harm us, not abled people. They don't care about the intricacies of disability, more often than not.

Everyone told me testosterone would make me angrier. My family has a habit of attributing any anger I feel these days to the testosterone. I didn't feel any angrier, but my mother would still tell me that no, I am angrier now, and testosterone did make me angrier and *she* could tell.

A week or two ago, I got my proof to the contrary. I'd been having a difficult day, woke up late, and had to rush out the door, ran into minor inconvenience after minor inconvenience, and then the straw broke the camel's back.

I wrote out the kind of angry vindictive seething text message I used to write constantly. I didn't send it, of course, I copied it out and pasted it in the folder of my notes where I put all my rage venting.

And then I thought.

Huh, it's been a little while since I did that. And I checked the time and dates on my previous notes. The last one was a few days before I started testosterone.

And scrolling back, I noticed that they were *constant* at least one a week for *years* I used to get so angry that I would get the serious urge to say cruel hurtful things to or about people I cared about on a near-daily basis. I didn't realize how big of a problem it was until all of a sudden I hadn't gotten that angry in Eleven Months. Nearly a YEAR.

And then I realized in my rush to get out the door in the morning, I hadn't taken my T shot. My testosterone was the lowest it's been since August.

All of a sudden, I had demonstrable proof that testosterone really did make me less angry. That all that "you may not think you're any angrier but you are" was bullshit.

I feel like I should be angrier about this than I am. I know how angry I used to get. About everything. I just felt it again for the first time in a while. For once, it would feel justified to be that angry. But I'm not. I'm not mad. I'm just... disappointed, I guess.

It's okay for you to be trans. I realize you know people can be trans, but you're not listening. It's okay for you to be trans.

It's okay for you, specifically you, to be trans.

I'm not sure how long you've been looking for permission to be trans. You don't need the permission, but you have it.

There's a whole community of other trans people that want to support you.

I’d like to weigh in and I’d put this in the tags but it’s too long. I started T at 26. I didn’t notice hair loss until 2 years on T.

I knew genetically it was inevitable. I started using rogaine foam as soon as I noticed. It definitely slowed the hair loss and even helped me grow some back (this is not the case for everyone it can have serious side effects so inform your doctor)

I did experience some rapid heart rate and switched to applying once a day.

I was in denial about it for a little bit. My one regret in my transition is not starting finasteride sooner. It has helped slow my hair loss immensely!!!

I can’t grow a beard so I may have to stop T because I don’t want to be bald without facial hair- personal opinion on my looks and how I feel.

However the finasteride has given me more time to decide and see how I’d feel about it.

I do unfortunately have a lot of people comment on my hair loss in my family. I’ve talked to cis male friends with hair loss and they’ve given me tips about hairstyles and how to keep my hair looking fuller.

Ultimately it’s your choice of course. And for everyone it happens/progresses differently.

Using rogaine every night and taking finasteride daily for the past 2 years has helped me keep a decent amount of hair and stay comfortable in my body (without the fat redistribution of going off T which I know will make me dysphoric).

Three years ago I was worried about losing all my hair and these medications have legit saved my prospective of my future and how I feel in my body and about my appearance.

Also, tons of cis men start balding by my age (I’m 33) so for some people it can also cause gender euphorias

Sorry for the novels but I felt it important to share.

typically i prefer putting commentary in tags however i want to add to this discussion (if only for myself.) I did not experience hair loss until i was about 2 years on T- my dose started at .25 ml and now I do .4 ml. I was very happy and amused by the change i did notice- the receding of my hairline around my temples. I was even very comfortable in the reality that I could go bald. But then my hair started thinning on top to the point where my loved ones noticed and commented frequently on the change (my wife* especially made a point to comment on any changes she saw from my hrt because she loves me so much and knows how happy it makes me to know she wants to acknowledge and celebrate the results of my hrt) and her comments made me realize how imminent the baldification of my head was. I began to consider how I would look bald, and how I felt about the long journey between having my full head of hair and being mostly or entirely bald. I knew if I didn't want to sport the thinning look I could shave my head, but that felt like it could be a real chore to keep on top of. I decided last year that I want to give my beard time to grow to it's fullest before I consider embracing baldness- I LOVE the bald queer guy with a beard look. I think it's crazy attractive. (And my beard has made fantastic strides in the past year. I've been on T since dec 2019, so a little over 3 years. It took my husband** longer than that to develop his beard on T I know it's not a guarantee that I'll ever sport a wildman's facial hair but I still look forward to seeing what becomes of my beard.) I think even if my beard never fills out to the amount I dream of, I do have intentions to let myself bald when I am older. What age I'm not sure yet, but I feel I'll know when I think it's time. All of this to say of course that I changed my mind on baldness when it crested the horizon of my hrt journey. And that was fine. What you want from your body is allowed to fluctuate at any point for any reason. You can change your mind, you can waffle, you can be unsure, you can cross that bridge when you get there. My decision to go on Finasteride was not called into question or celebrated or anything- everyone in my life respected my decision with little to no commentary. AS THEY SHOULD! I have been taking Finasteride since Oct '22, and so far I haven't really noticed any changes in hair loss or recovery. It definitely stopped the thinning in its tracks, which is a relief! I've heard tell that it can take a year or longer to fill out what you've lost, and hair growth is not guaranteed, so if you notice hair loss and you don't like the trend, you shouldn't waste time seeking out a prescription. Finasteride can be expensive- my insurance doesn't really cover it as it's not considered a necessary aspect of transgender healthcare (baloney!) so anticipate forking over more than you would for insured medications if your insurance is stubborn like mine. In conclusion, Finasteride is awesome and such a fantastic medicine for anyone who isn't psyched about their hair loss, and in a perfect world everyone would trans their gender with reckless abandon. *i love my wife[1] she is my champion she fully embraced my transition from the second I told her I thought I was a man. She wasn't surprised but never voiced her suspicions and she followed my lead and supported me as I tried new pronouns and names and I can't overstate how she was exactly what I needed wrt my transition and also as a life partner. **My husband's[1] beard is so luscious and thick and looks so good and he is so handsome and I love him with the inextinguishable intensity I had only ever felt with my wife. Our t4t love is special and sacred and so deeply fulfilling in the most fagilicious way. 1. We are all in a relationship with each other

my kingdom for people On Line to understand that yes, it is still sexual harassment if you're casting yourself as the receiver and not the aggressor in the hypothetical scenario you've constructed. in particular it is still sexual harassment to cold approach butches and masc dykes with shit like omg pin me down step on me. yes, even when you mean it as a compliment. yes, even if you're complimenting them on something else at the same time. i would encourage you in fact to try Not casting people you don't really know in sexual roles based off of their body type or gender presentation. maybe do some self-work instead. go to therapy. anything

literally it's fine to be horny about wanting women etc. to boss you around but you cannot do that to actual people who aren't explicitly inviting it. like hello???. why are you associating body types and personality traits with wanting to be dominant or aggressive—and i say aggressive specifically because there's always an element to this ime of physical roughness. why are you associating, like, height or build or vocal pitch with a willingness to eroticize power and shows of force without knowing at all what that person actually likes or enjoys. i'm not talking about established dynamics with a partner. i'm not talking about sending horny anons to someone running an nsfw blog who's putting on a persona or expressing a specific kind of sexuality. i'm talking about, like, why you think it's appropriate to approach someone you don't know with Omg Pin Me Down 😩 Step On Me as if that's any more comfortable for the recipient than catcalling

The whole "breasts shouldn't be politicized because the primary purpose of breasts is to feed babies!" can be a fine jumping-off point, but I really wish people thought deeper than that when we talk about the ways in which bodies are politicized and restricted.

Like, why's it that when we talk about breasts, they must have some Higher Purpose? It's true that breasts aren't inherently sexual, but they aren't valuable solely because they can potentially feed a baby. A human body doesn't have to serve a Higher Purpose in order for it to not be legislated against or policed, and I just wish people would remember it isn't always about babies, about other people, about anything else other than the people who have that body.

—

Kai Pyle Ozaawindib, the Ojibwe Trans Woman the US Declared a Chief

(via makingqueerhistory)

happy pride to polyamorous people, non-monogamists, relationship anarchists, swingers, people who follow to multiple models of love, people in kink families/houses, and anyone else who feels their love and the way they conduct their life does not suit the amatonormative "one partner for life" model. i hope you have an amazing time loving and being loved and enjoying life

New Medium publication for erotica and erotic romance, so this Pride Month you can put forward some of your fiction!

If you've been looking for somewhere other than Ao3 to branch out with your original work from fanworks, definitely give this a look!

Submission guidelines are outlined here:

if mutuals want help figuring out setting up a Medium account and getting started w it btw, lmk!

I think I might write up a guide specifically aimed at queer ppl coming from writing fanfic who want to transition to writing original fiction

I do NOT make much money from fiction on Medium, usually about $100-$120 a month, do i defo don't want to tout it as like. a big moneymaker or something

but i would like to build a bigger community of fiction writers and esp trans fiction writers

and esp bc like. the more of us that are able to post there and the more ppl that read there, the more money everyone can make too?

bc medium works by, you get a portion of people's subscription fee of $5/m, and its based on how much they read

This site has been going around Twitter trans accounts quite a bit lately, so just pointing out here too that it'll do fuck all, they're exploiting trans people at a time when hrt is particularly hard to access and please don't give them your money

fuckin exploitative bullshit marketed in the worst way imaginable

literally selling laxatives as weight loss supplements

Reddit post by Dr Will Powers

No actually, this needs to be in the body of the post.

This isn't someone looking to make a quick buck off the backs of desperate trans women.

This is someone who is gathering a hit list. This person may use your info for active swatting, but not just that, this product will kill you.

This product is outright dangerous. This dose of ashwagandha is ASTRONOMICAL. It's anxiolytic - meaning that it causes agitation and anxiety - and if you take this dose every day you'll be developing serotonin syndrome within 4-6 weeks, and an ER trip/death within 8. And if you're on medications that interact (SSRIs, antipsychotics, most kinds of opiates) or alcohol, this risk is magnified.

This person wants to KILL YOU.

Also the photo they're using for the founder is AI generated. The easiest tell is the neck tattoo seemingly merging with the collar of the shirt, and none of the locs actually having an end that connects them to the scalp.

There's a terf in the comments screeding about how this totally isn't a rightwing psyop and it's asian fetishizing trans ppl obsessed with anime doing this, so here's some irrefutable proof that it is, in fact, a right-wing dox honeypot!

If you go to any post by TheQueerQuirk on Twitter and replace the username part of the url with transaretr8ors it will redirect you to the same tweet with the new username, indicating that TheQueerQuirk's old username WAS in fact transaretr8ors. You can test this yourself.

They're also stealing images from r/transtimelines for fake reviews.

Their domain name was registered on June 2 and the address marked is a common scam address (seemingly of the Icelandic Phallological Museum).

THIS IS A HONEYPOT. THEY'RE COLLECTING ADDRESSES. YOU COULD BE SWATTED, HAVE YOUR IDENTITY STOLEN, OR AT THE VERY BEST RECEIVE A PRODUCT THAT WILL CAUSE SEROTONIN SYNDROME.

SPREAD.

I can't describe all the images right now, so I will just clarify that the first image is EstroLab's "I Can't Believe It's Not Estrogen" and the third is their "Femboy Tummy Pills" which are laxatives. The tweets advertising these are by some QueerQurk.com account. The post after the "Femboy Tummy Pills" is talking about how the "I Can't Believe It's Not Estrogen" utilizes ashwagandha which will actually make you produce MORE E/T dependent on what your gonads already produce, so if you're a trans woman with testes, you'll end up with increased levels of testosterone.