me: hi! how are you today :)

customer:

me, pulling up to the mcdonald’s drive through at 1 am, mascara tears on my cheaks and SOS by ABBA blasting through the speakers: 40 nuggets and an apple pie plz

‪What part of “i don’t wanna spend anymore money” don’t I understand

Could you imagine if edward had just been some regular dude like fucking around with bella and she said with the utmost confidence “i know what you are…..you’re a vampire” and he’s just out there alone with her in the middle of the forest like

I CAN’T

when u thot it was a regular day but remember its fathers day

taylor: everyone’s gonna get sick of me one day and they won’t want to hear what i have to say anymore

me:

me: maintains a 5 second following distance for safe braking every other driver on the road:

Bruce Banner in Avengers (2012): Hulk is the darkest part of me…The wrath I cannot control…Why my bones are made of glass…

Bruce in Infinity War (2018): What the FUCK did you just say, ugly ass green thumb looking mf?? NO???? what the FUCK is up hulk step the FUCK up hulk

me showing up at the theater for infinity war:

me, five minutes into the movie:

I’m crying (tweet src)

peter: mr. stark i don’t feel so good

me:

solo harries: one direction, otherwise known as the demon boyband cult of the 21st century, held harry styles hostage from 2010 to 2015. in this essay i will

A new song ‘Muse’ was registered on the BMI website, with Louis and Liam listed as co-writers and One Direction as a performer

infinity war is a dumb movie cause why would you bother all those heroes to fight thanos when all you have to do is get ant-man inside his asshole, make him grow back to his normal size and that’s it purple joss whedon is dead