my little guy kaladin

Next one is... Kal 🩵 hope you like him

The Way of Kings just crushed my girlfriend's box of sex toys under its sheer weight

you think people actually have sex? naked and everything? I have to laugh.

pregnancy happens when two clear-headed adults sign a contract and shake hands, much like a business merger

"i don't like rap" "i don't like country" "i don't like jazz" "i don't like disco" OPEN YR EARS & YR HEART!!!! YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!!

you get one (1) life. try everything.

"i don't like rap" "i don't like country" "i don't like jazz" "i don't like disco" OPEN YR EARS & YR HEART!!!! YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!!

you get one (1) life. try everything.

"i don't like rap" "i don't like country" "i don't like jazz" "i don't like disco" OPEN YR EARS & YR HEART!!!! YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG!!!!

you get one (1) life. try everything.

fuck it homebrew boop button. reblog this post to boop the person you reblogged from.

🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

40.4004260, -79.8731200

clerres? the servants? the unexpected son? what are you talking about? he literally never left to go back

Sam Reich is the only good CEO because he gets all his evil impulses out by being a dastardly mustache-twirling villain on his little game show, instead of getting into union busting or something

This is why it's important to know exactly what kind of enrichment is appropriate to each person's enclosure. You can cackle menacingly while knitting or woodworking, but it's really better with an audience.

The only victim is Brennan Lee Mulligan

Mods? Take him to the stump of his favorite childhood tree.

Mods, make him busy during a friends planned trip so he misses out on the new inside joke.

Mods… change the smell of his parents house.

look boss, our quarterly "subjection to the brutalities of the Absurd" budget is almost blown already. can we not just shoot this one twice in the back of the head and call it a day?

I know this is a tiny part of the wider problems born of diet culture, fatphobia, classicism, and racism but like god the idea that "healthy" food must inherently taste bad has completely ruined us as a society.

Every time you feel bad for having coffee with cream and sugar or ranch on your salad or putting extra butter and salt on your veggies I want you to imagine the spirit of John Harvey Kellogg in front of you and then I want you to kill him with a real gun and eat your delicious food in peace.

hands are insane because they're the absolute sexiest part of a body veins tendons knuckles hair on the wrist and the back of the fingers bones and blood all close to the skin screaming I AM ALIVE AND I SHAPE THE WORLD AROUND ME freckles and scars and the cryptic spiral of a fingerprint on each digit but also you cover them up with gloves and they BECOME HOTTER for some reason. and then you take the gloves off and they're hotter again. science can't explain this

(Source: Illustration by @lamaery and @pekgna)