“if you’re working a full time job you should be able to afford to live on your own and have access to food and transportation” gonna be real with you brother. everyone deserves this. Not just people working 40 hrs a week

I know I’ve said this before but vampires

therefore I am in dire need of a heist film where a group of vampires band together to steal back their old stuff from museums

Oceans 1100 AD

Very interested in the hardest part of this beign the vampires trying to trick someone into granting them permission to enter the premises earlier in the day

I feel like this has several simple solutions!

(all ideas shared on this blog are public domain, feel free to go nuts. you can find more story ideas like this on my ko-fi)

me: oh man im starving but im not sure what i should make for dinner……

the spirit of a 12th century templar knight that died a horrific death due to torture that started haunting me after i found a sword in the middle of the woods: spaghetti once more, prithee?

me: henry you are brilliant. spaghetti it is

“phones are disrupting natural sleep cycles” I mean true but also bold of you to assume I had one before the tech boom lol catch me out here reading chapter books by the light of my light up pens in the third grade

I got in trouble for staying up past my bedtime as a kid with a literal flashlight reading books under my blankets.

Someone make Dan Mora draw Jason more please I'm begging

Dan Mora on Instagram

Fun fact of the day

I love you tailors, I love you recycling center employees, I love you jewelry repair people, I love you tech repair people. I love you plumbers, I love you electricians. I love you all maintenance workers, who make it so things don't have to be fully replaced when they break.

There are so many ways to contribute to the climate movement.

Taps the sign ☝️🏳️‍⚧️

hello I have returned from the dead to dump all the zosans I’ve drawn in the last couple of months here!

follow me on twitter for posts in real time 💖

Reblog if you're openly gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, asexual, pansexual or if you really love cats

This is.... Absurdly cute. What the fuck.

It's worth noting that the reason the beaver wants the water to be deeper in the first place is that the Beaver is using the deep water as a pantry:

All summer and fall, beavers gather up branches with the leaves they actually eat, and store it in the deep end of the Pond, where the cold water and limited oxygen keep the leaves fresh all winter, so when it's negative 20 outside, a beaver can take a dip out of it's lodge, grab some refrigerated leaves in the (relatively) warmer water and go back to it's cozy little nap hole while everything else is out there suffering and eating bark or the like.

So it's less "there's a leak in my house" and more "OH SHIT THE FRIDGE!!"

#i loveeee beavers so much. little beasts in the river in their little homes#slapping everything. moving sticks around#what other mammal does this. just builds a little hut and sits in it. can you imagine if deer could do that

Humans do that

My show is being rebooted. We have better executives now.

this is my cursed jug i have that bleeds when you pour water in it. 

we’ve done this ten, twenty times now to no apparent change?

haunted

I’m 100% certain this is glaze fuckery but the delivery of “it’s bleeding!  It’s possessed.” is absolutely the best thing

Bad paint?

That’s a Time Bomb/Biohazard!!!

The glaze on the inside and outside of the Jug has developed cracks which when the Water is added causes the darker red clay under the white glaze to absorb the water. This in turn makes the Jug “Sweat” or “Bleed”. But it also compromises the integrity of the Jug as the Clay inside is becoming soggy as it absorbs the water. It’s also a breeding ground for Bacteria and Mold as the Clay can’t properly dry inside the glaze.

So it’s either going to fall apart and shatter into a bizillion little pieces.

Or it’s going to become a rancid smelling object that would Poison anything that Drinks/Absorbs the water put inside it.

So it’s cursed

But like

Scientifically cursed

Most curses are science we don’t understand

“most curses are science we don’t understand” woah ok there pal there’s no need to crash through half my reality and light it on fire like calm down

People are so stupid about snakes. If there's a little black racer chilling outside just leave it alone, you don't have to kill it, it's probably dealing with all your pests for you, jesus christ

If you kill a non venomous snake that's just silly and cruel and betrays a disgusting worldview of blind hatred and fear of other beings,

and if you kill a venomous snake that's VERY STUPID because trying to kill a venomous snake is the best way to get bitten by a venomous snake.

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FUN FACT this is a seriema, the closest living relative to terror birds!

its entirely poasible that we're witnessing the same kind of behavior that would have happened with these things! (art by julio lacerda)