Anonymous asked:
squEAAAAAAAK
Mayonnaiiiiise!!!
Very Official Instruments (3/15/16, 7th update)
follow the talking inanimate musical instruments hooray
Keyboards
Strings
Woodwinds
Brass
Percussion:
Vocal:
Electronic
Notation:
Condiments:
Pure Evil:
Reblog from the source for the most recent update!
Mayonnaise?! 😂😂😂
You people always forget me
Put him under pure evil
Ouch man, I feel the love…
@official-bassoons yes, I am instrument, please?
mayonnaise-official reblogged
i have so many questions for the founder of this town
Yeah, seriously. Who names a city after a hunk of metal?
mayonnaise-official reblogged
my advice to young music majors
Next week, I’ll be graduating with my degree in music performance, and I’ve been thinking a lot about what I’ve learned, and some of the common issues I’ve witnessed or dealt with during my time here.
- It’s okay not to know everything. If you knew everything, you wouldn’t need to be at school. You wouldn’t be at school. Don’t be embarrassed for not knowing everything, because you are at school to learn. (This might be my most important piece of advice.)
- It’s okay to ask questions. See point two.
- It is not okay to think you know everything. You don’t. See point two. You are not the hottest shit since sliced bread, at least not now.
- Be open-minded as hell. Listen to weird music. Accept criticism openly. Accept compliments openly (this is just as important).
- Drink coffee. All the time. It’ll help you play faster. Probably.
- Have performance anxiety? Sure, eating bananas and taking deep breaths will help you, but the only way to overcome performance anxiety is to perform as much as you possibly can. Invite a friend or three into your practice room and perform your solo for them. Join ensembles. Take gigs. Treat your practice sessions like you would a performance. We practice playing music all the time, but we also have to practice performing.
- Maria Schneider came to my school a while ago, and left me with this fantastic quote (which I paraphrase now): “When you’re stuck aiming for perfection, you sacrifice the freedom that comes with making mistakes and experimenting.” One of the best things that could have happened to me musically was when I messed up a passage in one of my vibraphone pieces in a lesson, and played really awkwardly and out of time. My teacher told me it was the hippest thing he’d heard, and to play the entire piece with that in mind. It was awesome.
- Take frequent or as-needed breaks. Mental health, sleep, food, and socializing are all important. Don’t feel bad about taking a day or two off from practicing. Go to a party and dance/drink your ass off. Enjoy your time in school, because living it up is part of the college experience. Life is about balance.
- On that note, burn out is real. I nearly dropped out last year for various reasons, but I chose to stick it out and this year, I have found a second wind even stronger than the first. I just needed a break - I took the summer off entirely from music. Sometimes people need a break, even if it’s from something they love. That’s perfectly fine. It does not make you a lesser human being or a lesser musician.
- Also sort of on that note, if you’re having serious trouble with a certain piece or passage, take a break from it. Revisit it in a few days or so, and you may be surprised what your subconscious has done for you.
- Analyze the music you play. Study the composer, look up program notes. Be an expert at what you do.
- There is much much more to music than the Romantic era. Listen to medieval dances and Renaissance polyphony. Listen to Xenakis and Ligeti. Be a well-rounded musician.
- Don’t be ashamed about listening to and enjoying music that isn’t “refined” or “cultured” according to your history textbook. There is much more to music than Mozart. Dance your ass off to Kesha. Enjoy what life has to offer, even if it isn’t the most intricate, sophisticated, or “classy” material. Life is too short to spend it avoiding the simple pleasures. (Also, you don’t want to be an elitist or a party-pooper.)
- Along those lines, listen to and play music from those who are living. Music has to evolve with time, and if we want it to survive and thrive, we have to embrace music of the present just as much if not more than music of the past. While it is important to know the main themes from Beethoven’s symphonies and understand the importance of Schubert’s lieder, there is music being made today by people just as talented as the greats of the past, but they are greatly ignored because they are not Beethoven. Old music deserves appreciation, but it cannot be the focus of your musical studies.
- Write new music. If you want. Or arrange music you like for your instrument or some cool ensemble. If you want.
- Practice. Love what you do. Be unrelenting in your love for what you do.
- Relax, you’re doing fine.
Run.
Two types of people smh...
mayonnaise-official reblogged
odorono-deactivated20110520-dea
why does everyone always associate satan with heavy metal
for all we know satan could like smooth jazz
Satan likes jazz Saxophones are in jazz SAXOPHONES = SATAN WAKE UP AMERICA
icebrrg2000
Yeah but like trumpets are in jazz too
realdonaldtrumpet
But Saxophones begin with an S. Know what else begins with an S? Satan. I rest my case.
official-oboes
I mean trumpet starts with t, which also starts trump, and we all know that trump in fact is the devil
And Mayonnaise starts with M-- like Madonna (A MUSICIAN)
SO MAYONNAISE MUST BE AN INSTRUMENT.
Am I doing this right?
mayonnaise-official reblogged
Swallowing glass just to stay pure
may
if you put my name and your name together you get mayonnaise also please don’t swallow glass
I am mayonnaise! Yay! Also, maybe glass isn’t good to swallow so… don’t do that?
Is glass ok to swallow if you dress it in mayonnaise?
Hmmmm, I don't know if that's how healthy eating works. Maybe consult a doctor or a health specialist on that one-- I'm just Mayonnaise.
Swallowing glass just to stay pure
may
if you put my name and your name together you get mayonnaise also please don’t swallow glass
I am mayonnaise! Yay! Also, maybe glass isn't good to swallow so... don't do that?
mayonnaise-official reblogged
piano????
more likE PIANYES
alternatively: piYAYno
more likE piYAYYES
bassflutes
more like piaLOWFLUTESARESUPERIORSCREWYOU
more like pianCANYOUNOT-o
bassflutes
more like piaBRODOYOUEVENVIBRATO
more like piaTRILLSCANBEJUSTASBEAUTIFULIFPLAYEDPROPERLY-o
bassflutes
more like piaHAVEYOUEVERHEARDAFLUTETRILLIDONTTHINKSO
How about piaPICCOLOSMAKEYOURARGUMENTSINVALID
bassflutes
more like piaHYPERBASSFLUTE-o
piaDOYOUEVENMARCH-o
bassflutes
piaYESIDOANDIWILLMARCHAHYPERBASSFLUTEJUSTYOUWAIT
piaMAYONNAISEISANINTRUMENTTOOYOUKNOW
mayonnaise-official reblogged
When composers write ridiculous time/key signatures
To have a part is all I ever ask :(:
mayonnaise-official reblogged
official-scales
I will kill you all unless you practise. Lazy shits.
official-mellophone
Can you maybe chill?
that-one-weird-flute
these are scales we’re talking about
they will never chill
Practice your scales! They’re the foundation of pretty much everything ever written! And yes, this does include atonal music. Ever heard of chromatics?
SCALES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3
I always practice my scales
mayonnaise-official reblogged
Very Official Instruments (3/15/16, 7th update)
follow the talking inanimate musical instruments hooray
Keyboards
Strings
Woodwinds
Brass
Percussion:
Vocal:
Electronic
Notation:
Condiments:
Pure Evil:
Reblog from the source for the most recent update!
I AM HONORED
mayonnaise-official reblogged
Anonymous asked:
No but I mean that you are actually a real life clarinet
I can neither confirm nor deny that I am a real live clarinet
cello-official
I’m a cello.
I like to think I am the worlds' most sophistocated Timpani.
mayonnaise-official reblogged
Very Official Instruments (2/29/16)
follow the talking inanimate musical instruments hooray
Keyboards
Strings
Woodwinds
Where’s official-flute I need someone to scream at
I’m here
Finally I can write more impossible runs! :)
*screams*
I love you too!
AAAAAAAA
This is gonna be SO MUCH FUN
Isn’t a flute screaming just a piccolo though (Where are the cellos and the percussion and the brass I need them. Don’t forget the cannons)
Oh, I’ll have something planned for the piccolos too…. something very very special.
I don’t even play piccolo and I am afraid
cello-official
@tchaikovsky-official im here!!!
!!!! hello my friend
@tchaikovsky-official you rang?
HELLO MY BRASS FRIEND
cello-official
@tchaikovsky-official I’m ready for the cannons
PLEASE HELP ME DESTOY PACHELBEL
@tchaikovsky-official I’m here!!!! What kind of destroying are we talking about here?
cello-official
@tacobell-pachelbel-official WE’RE COMING FOR YOU!!!!!
tacobell-pachelbel-official
… Oh fuck
CANNONS
I LOVE YOU COME HERE MY CHILD
FATHER!!
Am I nobody's child? *cries*
mayonnaise-official reblogged
These are not just dots on a page; they are points of emotion.
Mayonnaise is emotional, right?
mayonnaise-official reblogged
no patrick mayonnaise is not an instrument -_-
official-oboes
But that ungodly creation he’s holding under his arm certainly isn’t either I mean look at it its like a trombone wit with valves oh my god @trumpets-official @official-trombone what the hell did you do that resulted in this mess
@official-oboes look at that sax tho *shivers*
Well then...
mayonnaise-official reblogged
Anonymous asked:
I'm now realizing why the saxophone was a mistake instrument
is it because it’s kind of shaped like a seahorse?
Yeah, something like that…BECAUSE ITS A STUPID INSTRUMENT.. @maurice-ravel-official-FIGHT ME
Do many instruments get mistreated and hated on this way? I want to be an instrument without being ridiculed too bad... I don't know if I can handle being hated as both a condiment and an instrument...
mayonnaise-official reblogged
Enlighten me please
Why is @georg-fred-handel-official so OOC from what i’ve heard so far I’m sure Handel would be asexual and blogging pictures of food 24/7 or something
What can I say? I am who I am!
president–abraham-lincoln
I think Handel would be more like
“I don’t need romance, I need FOOD. GIVE ME FOOD” “Britian is a wonderful place God save the Queen” “I’m sooo hungry when is my next meal” “I like opera” *picture of nice food* “ @jsbach-official Life is real hard with 9189 billion kids isn’t it omg” “Did i mention that i love opera? Omg check out this overture by [Italian composer] it’s the bomb” *picture of a river* *picture of fireworks* “My last meal was 0.0002 nanoseconds ago but I still feel a need to eat tbh”
ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT??!!
yep!
Food? Am I actually inspirational as a food? Maybe I don’t have to be an instrument… But I want to be… WHY DIDN’T YOU PUT ME IN ANY STMPHONIES, @tchaikovsky-official? @cannon-official and @official-cannon are good enough, but not a delicious mayonnaise spread?– or even the bottle?!
sax-pirate
I played a sax with mayo on the reed. (A friend pranked me.) I guess there is mayonnaise in the show I marched that year.
That's beautiful. Thank you. I feel much better now.