Bilbo barely passed Old Took's record lifespan after having a supernaturally-life-extending ring for 60 years. which begs a question. what the hell did Old Took do

I have a theory that somewhere back up the line gandalf fucked a took. This sounds like complete crack but hear me out. The tooks are rumored to have “fairy blood” which in LOTR terms means either elves or maia. There is an ancestor who’s unusually tall and many of them are noted to live unusually long lives unless they meet with illness or injury, same as the numenorians did. They don’t hve extra pointy ears and elves don’t have a special interest in the line. But who DOES have a special interest in looking after tooks (and bilbo who is a took on his mother’s side/his adopted son frodo)? Gandalf. That dude is ALWAYS fussing over some silly little guy. He regularly brought the old took birthday presents.

Back in the day some bold hobbitess decided to climb that old man and ever since then gandalf has been looking after his line of tiny crazy bastards and no one will convince me otherwise.

That's no bunny.

Day 2 in the Middle School Time Loop: you remember that last time, everyone ignored you at recess because they were talking about a TV show that you hadn’t watched. This time, you lie and say you’ve seen it. They ask you who your favorite character is, and you don’t know any of the characters, and so you’re tongue-tied. They think you’re weirder than ever, or maybe a liar, which is worse (and true).

Day 3 in the Middle School Time Loop: you tell your parents that you feel ill. They let you stay home while they’re at work. You spend the whole day watching past episodes of the TV Show.

Day 4 in the Middle School Time Loop: Recess again. The same person asks you who your favorite character is. This time, you're ready. You eagerly tell them, and supplement your reasons for liking them with solid evidence from all 4 seasons of the show. But! Tough luck: you’re now too invested. The atmosphere turns uncomfortable. They go back to ignoring you like they did on the Day 1 that you didn’t know was Day 1.

Day 5 in the Middle School Time Loop:

this is the most annoying phenomenon in the world bar none

smooth, bucket.

Actually canon Bucky Barnes

btw this isn't a vague/subtweet (post?) or anything but just so y'all know, there's a way to mark things as "inspired by" on ao3

you don't have to just put it in the notes!! very cool under-utilized feature

This is an underutilized feature of AO3, and a great way to credit the work you might be taking inspiration from.

It's also useful because it will link your work on the work it's inspired by! A little section pops up to say "Works inspired by this one:" and a hyperlink at the bottom of the original fic.*

And then anyone who finds the fic that inspired you will have the option to read your fic too and anyone reading your fic has the chance to go read the fic you loved so much you had to write about it! Everyone wins!

*The author does have to approve that link, it doesn't just pop up on it's own, but in my experience as someone who enjoys gifting fic it's usually well received.

PLEASE use this feature! Its so cool! And it is a great way to drice traffic to both the original and inspired by work since it automatically provides a direct link. You can also connect translations! Which is amazing! This is a super great feature on ao3!

Don’t buy other stuff

I really cannot overemphasize how based it is that the dungeon meshi fanart community has collectively decided that Falin is fat. Truly a historic W for anime girl likers everywhere. We need to set this as a precedent for all future popular anime - if no women in the cast are fat, the artists must pick at least one of those characters and draw them fat with absolutely no explanation or justification provided. This must continue until the people who make anime realize what they're missing out on by not putting this shit in the source material.

I don't always agree with the decisions of Wikipedia's volunteer editors, but having learned that their decision on how to handle the James Somerton situation was to deem him non-notable and turn his article into a redirect to a brief writeup of Hbomberguy's plagiarism investigation – well, like I said, this may not be a good decision, but in context it's an extremely funny one.

for anyone wondering, this performance is called “Success Isn’t Linear” by Yoann Bourgeois and is possibly one of the most inspiring things i’ve seen in 2022

This guy beefing it in rehearsal for the seventh time that day: It’s fine, success isn’t linear…

this has gotta be on of the most inspiring things I’ve ever seen!

The trick is to not let people know how really weird you are until it’s too late for them to back out.

Absolutely the frak not, the trick is to immediately let people know how weird you are so you scare off the weak ones. The ones who stay because they like how weird you are? Those are the ones you want.

Post 1: workplace

Post 2: everywhere else

… you know what, codicil accepted

H... how exactly can you do that..

tags are wild

i was just thinking about how in later Discworld books, even as its an unspoken understanding among everyone in Ankh-Morpork that Carrot is the King of the city and he's probably the last descendant of the original ruling line, not only does Carrot avoid pushing the narrative to exploit it unless absolutely necessary, but it never de-emphasizes the fact that he's a dwarf by adoption

Even in later books Carrot is still regularly writing letters to his family in their mine; he thinks of himself as a dwarf, he is CONSIDERED to be a dwarf by all except the most hardliners of dwarf society (and even they can't outright deny him dwarf status, the best they can do is say he is an anomaly); he might USE his narrative status as the One True King, but in his heart, to himself, he is still the child of the Ironfounderssons.

His human heritage is functionally irrelevant to him unless he needs to make use of it, much like his ancestral sword. And it occured to me, what if he actively chose to distance himself from his human heritage because he learned about them in later books and found nothing worth acknowledging?

Carrot is in a weird place because he is the One True King, a narrative status that makes him the good and wise king who knows only truth and justice and comes bringing goodness to all, and this is quite a contrast to the ACTUAL kings of Ankh-Morpork, who were universally at BEST a bunch of horribly useless and inept absolute rulers that are living embodiments of 'the aristocracy are dumber than a sack of doorknobs' the series leans into, and at worst are implcitly some of the most horribly sadistic and cruel people in the setting.

One particular example is Lorenzo the Kind, the last king of Ankh-Morpork, whose name was deliberately ironic; he was so horrifically sadistic that he spelled the end of the kingship because he's the one who was killed by Suffer-Not-Injustice Vimes, who because no one was willing to judge him because kings were considered Special, just dragged him off his throne, cut off his head, and the surviving family members were exiled from the city.

Lorenzo is the last member of Carrot's biological ancestry we have definitive information on, off the top of my head, and he paints a dark, horrific image. He's painted as the absolute nadir of horror from the ruling classes, and is heavily implied to have been a sadistic pedophile with a penchant for torture (at the very least Carrot and Vimes both note that he was apparently fond of children and was painted with a lot of them nearby at all times, discussing it in a way that suggests a DEEPLY uncomfortable topic neither of them wants them to address, and later in Feet Of Clay Vimes points out that Lorenzo had unspecified but horrific machines in the basement).

Carrot is very strongly implied to, at least starting from Men At Arms (in which he discovers he is the king), have investigated his ancestry, and he's able to elaborate on their actions and history, and this also marks the point where he carefully but firmly emphasizes his dwarf heritage for the rest of the series.

He found out who his ancestors were, and discovered they were horrifically evil people, and that Mister Vimes was fully justified in being proud of his ancestor putting them down like rabid beasts, and it leads to him firmly emphasizing that his family are the Ironfoundersson dwarfs.

you ever have just like, a really bad idea

anyways if you like bad things here’s a postcard

I was trying to figure out why this post starting spiking recently and then I found out you animals had this queued for Mother’s Day

Days getting shorter, nights are longer and Sky is grouchy due to having to wake up and it's still dark, leaving his sleep schedule a mess. Lots of people portray Sky as this ray of sunshine, but the idea of him being mean when just being woken from a nap is funny to me. He is also kinda terrifying.

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Chapter 7- The Meeting