@liabilitys / liabilitys.tumblr.com

this dream isn't feeling sweet
em / she/her / 24 / aus / lesbian
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  • em, melbourne, 24 she/her, lesbian
  • tracking #useremmaby (u can tag me in stuff even if its not from fandoms i usually post!)
  • mainly a taylor swift blog but v multi-fandom (lorde, phoebe bridgers, gracie abrams, maisie peters, killing eve, doctor who; for more see my about me page!) 
  • big book lover! add me on goodreads if u want!
  • don’t interact if a homophobe, racist, terf, right-wing etc. 
  • prev. liabilityacoustic, hollowlikethebottles, toseemelikethat +
  • t followed 15/05/15, liked x12
  • header @themomentiknew
  • tags: posts i relate to, my posts, more about me
  • other blogs (not active on either): @studywithem ; @emindenmark
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I love everyone who’s inspired me to write a song, whether you know it or not. I love anyone who has ever turned the volume up when my song comes on the radio, anyone who has bought this album. Anyone who can sing along to my songs when I play them live. Anyone who’s ever requested my song on the radio, or even remembered my name. If you ever see me in public, I want to meet you. I will thank you myself. You have let me into your life, and I will never be able to thank you enough for that. I love YOU, and I love God for putting you in my life

Love love love

-T-

Happy belated birthday, Gabby @taylorswifttv ! 💚🦋

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a really interesting theme i find in taylor’s work is that of being a fool or fooling someone else. love is looked at from this lens of a thing that you have to tricked into. which is really juxtaposed by her belief of “it is fate.” i think it somewhat comes from how openly and hugely she loves vs her view of herself as something that brings disaster. and also some pretty formative experiences when she was a young girl going into adulthood and how she felt used and unworthy and small. hence, all the trickery to make someone love her and trying to be in control, whether she’s the one starting it or ending it.

in cowboy like me, she talks about how she’s conned all these men, and they’ve all fallen for her. she takes what she wants from then and then she bolts. “i use to switch out these kens, i’d just ghost // rip the bandaid off and skip town like an asshole outlaw” she meets a boy, falls in love, and when they break up, she moves on quickly and goes to another one to not feel distraught, and when this new boy makes her fake promises, she does the same thing to him and moves on with someone else. she’s in control.

and then “i think there’s been a glitch,” and with joe, she thought it was gonna be something casual and they tried that but it turned out to be one of those things that supposed to last. her con finally works. after all these tries, she’s finally masterminded her forever, and she doesn’t even feel bad because he knew. but then, she realizes that she failed yet again, it didn’t work. she didn’t con her way into a sweet forever, but rather forever conned her. once fate gave her something, she tried to control it, but she failed.

she tries again. she’s been talking with this boy from her past again, and she thinks that this time, bolting will work and she will find her happy ending. what she though was fate, meant to be, all the pain of her long term relationship and her leaving was supposed to meant something, but turns out that this time the script flips, and he was the conman and he was selling her a get-love-quick scheme (loml). and she doesn’t even get to bolt! he’s the one who leaves her behind (“i’ll never leave, never mind” - loml), and she can’t even complain.

all’s not well because it doesn’t end well because she didn’t end up with anybody. instead of trying herself again, she’s just begging someone to change the prophecy. and the alchemy still implies something not in her hands being a huge factor, and who are they to fight it? they have to abide by it. and ofc she equates love to religion and sees fate as a belief system. she wants it to work out, and it hits her hard whenever it doesn’t. i’ve been thinking about this since the album release and seeing some other posts, and my unpopular opinion is that i think it’s still something she believes in despite *gestures broadly* but after last year, she doesn’t wanna control it anymore. she doesn’t wanna mastermind and do all the work, she just want it easy and she wants it to be simply good to her.

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clara bow’s placement as the album closer reaffirms the underlying concept that the tortured poets department is really the story of her growth and sacrifices. she feels wanted and abandoned, worshiped and reviled, and ultimately isolated. she lashes out when people try to cage her, but really, she is the one who chose this life. she dreamed of making it and being seen as ‘the real thing,’ and she dreamed of finding a real love, too. she thought she might die if she made it, just like she was sure that the emotional turmoil she went through could kill her. she took the glory, and she gave everything to her fame and her men. everyone demanded more from her, no matter what she gave. yet, when offered the chance to pull the brakes, she knew it wouldn’t come gently: it wasn’t easy to acquire, and it would lead to her feeling trapped in a new way—and that is exactly what happened when she tried to ‘dim her shine,’ per the epilogue. through all of this suffering, she established a legacy that everyone who comes after her will be measured up to. maybe she wasn’t a ‘modern idiot’ after all. she is a starlet and a tortured poet at the same time. after all this torture, the future can really be bright and dazzling.

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i hope that the discussion about student protests does not get reduced to "privileged rich kids faffing around at an ivy league school." setting aside that tenuous claim, over the last week, protests have erupted over the entire country. a few days ago, riot police beat, pepper-sprayed, and arrested NYU faculty shielding students; protests started at the university of southern california when the admin cancelled the valedictorian's speech; encampments appeared at the university of southern carolina, UT dallas, the university of maryland, the university of new mexico, IUPUI, virginia tech, the university of virginia, the university of illinois, the university of north carolina — chapel hill, the university of pittsburgh, uc berkeley, the university of michigan — ann arbor, MIT, emerson, tufts, the university of rochester, rice, swarthmore, the new school, vanderbilt university, with students arrested; students protested or walked out at miami university, northwestern, temple, the 5 claremont colleges: pomona, pitzer, scripps, harvey mudd, and claremont mckenna, stanford, washington university in st louis, students were arrested at ohio state, students were confronted by riot police at cal poly humboldt, after which they occupied campus, students were arrested at the university of minnesota — twin cities, after which faculty walked out; and yes, there are protests at the other ivies, most notably yale, with students facing mass arests after encampments, but there is also an encampment at brown, protests appeared at cornell, princeton faculty issued a statement of solidarity while students are preparing an encampment, and harvard banned the undergraduate palestine solidarity committee. there are thousands of students who are protesting for palestine across the entire country, facing harassment, arrest, and suspension in return

as many have noted, this 11-hour-old post is an incomplete list. the situation on the ground continues to rapidly evolve: harvard set up an encampment despite the ban; UT austin students are getting brutally assaulted by the police, prompting faculty to declare the first university-wide strike

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