Hey, you are not an embarrassment for not knowing how to do certain household chores/basic self-care. They do not come naturally to us. A lot of it takes practice! Maybe you had a neglectful guardian. Maybe you had one that was very coddling and never thought to teach you. Maybe you haven't lived in a place where these things were available to you or needed. Doesn't matter. It's okay to not know and far more common than you might realise.

That said, this website provides very simple instructions on how to do everyday tasks such as making your bed, using a washing machine, cooking different foods, washing dishes, taking a shower, etc. All you have to do is use the search bar to find the task you're struggling with, and it'll come up with what you need + other related how-to's:)

If you're having trouble navigating it, let me provide you with some examples:

It's also perfectly okay if these don't help or aren't appealing to you. Unfortunately, nothing helps everyone.

That’s it, the Professor is truly the King of Sass

The letter didn’t come from the Nazi party, but from the publishing house which had expressed an interest in the German translation of The Hobbit. Tolkien’s response really is a thing of beauty, though, so it deserves to be quoted in its entirety:

25 July 1938                                              20 Northmoor Road, Oxford

Dear Sirs,

Thank you for your letter. … I regret that I am not clear as to what you intend by arisch. I am not of Aryan extraction: that is Indo-iranian; as far as I am aware none of my ancestors spoke Hindustani, Persian, Gypsy, or any related dialects. But if I am to understand that you are enquiring whether I am of Jewish origin, I can only reply that I regret that I appear to have no ancestors of that gifted people. My great-great-grandfather came to England in the eighteenth century from Germany: the main part of my descent is therefore purely English, and I am an English subject - which should be sufficient. I have been accustomed, nonetheless, to regard my German name with pride, and continued to do so throughout the period of the late regrettable war, in which I served in the English army. I cannot, however, forbear to comment that if impertinent and irrelevant inquiries of this sort are to become the rule in matters of literature, then the time is not far distant when a German name will no longer be a source of pride.

Your enquiry is doubtless made in order to comply with the laws of your own country, but that this should be held to apply to the subjects of another state would be improper, even if it had (as it has not) any bearings whatsoever on the merits of my work or its suitability for publication, of which you appear to have satisfied yourselves without reference to my Abstammung.

I trust you will find this reply satisfactory, and remain yours faithfully

J.R.R. Tolkien.

(Letter 30)

The Hobbit wasn’t published in German until 1957.

This might just be the politest “fuck you” ever written.

W.h.a.t.

Not just “I wish I had Jewish ancestors, but I don’t,” but also “you do realize that’s not what ‘Aryan’ actually means, right,” and “you guys are making it pretty hard to be proud of my German heritage.”

Nazis: Are you Aryan?

Noted linguistics freak Tolkien: Are you?

Sweet Little Lies Master List

https://scenecipriano.tumblr.com/post/186293062030/sweet-little-lies (Chapter One) 

https://scenecipriano.tumblr.com/post/186312510055/sweet-little-lies2 (Chapter Two)

https://scenecipriano.tumblr.com/post/186322022245/sweet-little-lies-3 (Chapter Three)

https://scenecipriano.tumblr.com/post/186338625855/sweet-little-lies4 (Chapter Four)

https://scenecipriano.tumblr.com/post/186357626400/sweet-little-lies5 (Chapter Five)

https://scenecipriano.tumblr.com/post/186381604085/sweet-little-lies6 (Chapter Six)

https://scenecipriano.tumblr.com/post/186425509290/sweet-little-lies7 (Chapter Seven)

https://scenecipriano.tumblr.com/post/186449920250/sweet-little-lies8-end (Chapter Eight) 

Pretty sure there’s a way to- just- make the links smaller but- i don’t know to do that pff- 

@stressed-depressed-andobsessed

There ya go!

Oh my god this is so good and painful holy shit i cant

well i’m glad you liked it! 

This is angsty as shit and I’m dying, thanks lol

you’re quite welcome! XD 

Hey this is the first fic of yours I read XD Pretty sure this is how we started talking too!

I always choose to understand, even if it hurts.

actually, growing up is feeling like i turned sixteen two days ago. i’ve been eighteen for years. fifteen year olds seem so young. wasn’t i fifteen just a few weeks ago? all my friends and i are still twelve. i’m closer to thirty than to being a baby. i never got to be a kid. i never grew past eight. i can’t talk to my mom. i want to sit in her lap forever. i want to decide everything for myself. i need someone to tell me exactly what to do. the week is going by so slow. an entire year has passed.

Literally such a funny concept

This is better than all Black mirrors combined.

Happy martin birthday

every day i am percieved™️

There is a reason for this though!

The original tweet summarizes it pretty well. Fanfic tends to be popular among certain types of neurodivergent people (aka people most likely to read excessively as a child, and have burnout as an adult) for the same reasons that we tend to hyperfixate–neurochemical signaling (I hope I’m using that phrase correctly). What I mean is, for people who are really dependent on changes in dopamine/serotonin/neurotransmitter levels, who have low levels or wonky neural reward systems (perhaps the most common types of neurodivergence)…people like us rely on dependable external sources of those neurochemicals. In order to function, we spend a lot of our free time trying to level out our brain chemistry using things that can reliably bring us a steady stream of joyful moments (rewards) without costing too much of the mental effort that is already in short supply. 

significantly: the investment of reading has to be balanced with a steady “return on investment”–and this return has to start fairly quickly. because again, we don’t have a lot of attention/energy to invest on tiring things. we have perpetual “low batteries” in that regard.

that doesn’t mean these stories are “simple,” or that they lack complexity or value–only that the reward has to come in short regular intervals, and it has to have a low “upfront cost.” which is why fanfic stories are so perfectly formulated for neurodivergent readers–they are often beautifully written, but skip a lot of the upfront costs (of introducing new characters, of world-building, of getting the audience emotionally connected to the story elements).

the nature of fanfiction is that the reader has a pre-existing relationship with this world and these characters. that–combined with the shorter average length of fics–means that fan fics very quickly start “rewarding” the reader in a way that traditional fiction struggles to. that’s not a bad thing! and maybe it’s something more traditionally published writers should be paying attention to.

Fanfic, as a genre, has been uniquely helpful and accessible to many neurodivergent readers who would otherwise struggle to immerse themselves in stories. I’m glad so many of you have found a way to love and enjoy reading again! The important thing is that you are spending time inside stories you love–the way those stories are published or presented to the world is just one detail.

*holds your hand* no, we’re ALL bitches

I used to devour books as a kid, could read a 400 page book in one day. I read at school, during lunch break, while walking home, while eating, before sleep, just every moment I could. Then I hit twenties and I just can’t read like that anymore. I now have a short attention span, have to reread paragraphs, and oftentimes I get to the end of a page only to realize that I have no idea what I just read. So reading books became a chore. Reading fanfiction is much easier, though sometimes my attention drifts even when reading them.

I did the same thing as a kid, and interestingly enough I found that as my overall level of stress and daily discomfort improved, I spent a lot less time reading. Over time I’ve realized that the type of reading habits described above–spending every free moment of my day reading, at the cost of everything else–that was a maladaptive coping mechanism.

As a kid, I didn’t read just bc I chose to. I read bc I couldn’t choose anything else. I had no control over my environment, I was constantly overwhelmed, overstimulated, unhappy and isolated. I didn’t have much internet access, certainly not in class, so immersing myself in printed things was my only escape option. That’s what it was all about–escaping.

In hindsight, a big reason I was able to concentrate on longer fiction when I was younger was bc I didn’t have that many options. I didn’t have access to wifi during school hours, and running out of reading material was a huge risk (bc engaging & being aware of my environment was just that painful). Given that it took a large word count to distract myself consistently through the day, reading large books made more sense. When I was a kid, long fiction offered a better “payoff”, the way fanfiction does now.

That is to say: I chose books for many of the same reasons I later chose fanfiction.

The fact that my reading habits have changed has less to do with the fact my brain had changed, and more to do with the way my environment has changed. My brain has options now it didn’t have before. And it turns out, fanfic is a pretty useful option. I’m gradually transitioning to reading more long & traditionally published fiction, but I’ll never forget that fanfic writers were there when I needed different options. I’ll never forget how much that genre helped (and still helps!) when I was struggling.

They may be called One Direction, but they’re actually smooth in ALL directions.

Just like sharks

Good luck future historians

@dia-mond-universe and I thought the shit I say gives people whiplash

I would let a racoon do surgery on me

Have you seen their little hands? Those motherfuckers would give me a great heart transplant for the low low cost of a cold pizza slice

you do realize where racoons' little hands have been right

is that the...only reason you wouldn’t let a raccoon give you a heart transplant?

Come on! They are so well known for washing their hands that they’s called “washing bears” in German! You don’t have to worry about where their hands have been!

Well! you heard it folks, getting a heart transplant from a raccoon is perfectly safe!

where is the raccoon getting the heart

don't worry about it

pretty shitty how baseline human activities like singing, dancing and making art got turned into skills  instead of being seen as behaviors

so now it’s like ‘the point of doing them is to get good at them’ and not ‘this is a thing humans do, the way birds sing and bees make hives’.

I know I’ve posted this before, but it bears repeating.

This is a thing humans do; you don’t have to be good at it to enjoy it.

THIS IS IT. IVE FOUND THE FUNNIEST THING ON THIS PLANET.