What now?

ooc; okay, so long story short, I’m dropping Paine. I think it’s reached a point for me where I’ve just become so disengaged from her and everything feels kinda stale, not that it’s anyone’s fault cause it’s not, like I’m not really breaking new ground with headcanons or any particular direction that I wanted to take with her, to the point where I don’t enjoy roleplaying her anymore. 

So after roughly 5 years, I’m stopping. I can’t say if it’ll be forever or what, but for now it feels like the right thing to do. I’ve made some great friends and some great memories along the way.

If you’d like to stay in contact, I do have another FF roleplay blog that I run (which I’ve advertised on here). Alternatively, I do have a discord and a personal blog if anyone would like them. 

ooc; okay, so long story short, I’m dropping Paine. I think it’s reached a point for me where I’ve just become so disengaged from her and everything feels kinda stale, not that it’s anyone’s fault cause it’s not, like I’m not really breaking new ground with headcanons or any particular direction that I wanted to take with her, to the point where I don’t enjoy roleplaying her anymore. 

So after roughly 5 years, I’m stopping. I can’t say if it’ll be forever or what, but for now it feels like the right thing to do. I’ve made some great friends and some great memories along the way.

If you’d like to stay in contact, I do have another FF roleplay blog that I run (which I’ve advertised on here). Alternatively, I do have a discord and a personal blog if anyone would like them. 

ooc; okay, so long story short, I’m dropping Paine. I think it’s reached a point for me where I’ve just become so disengaged from her and everything feels kinda stale, not that it’s anyone’s fault cause it’s not, like I’m not really breaking new ground with headcanons or any particular direction that I wanted to take with her, to the point where I don’t enjoy roleplaying her anymore. 

So after roughly 5 years, I’m stopping. I can’t say if it’ll be forever or what, but for now it feels like the right thing to do. I’ve made some great friends and some great memories along the way.

If you’d like to stay in contact, I do have another FF roleplay blog that I run (which I’ve advertised on here). Alternatively, I do have a discord and a personal blog if anyone would like them. 

ooc; okay, so long story short, I’m dropping Paine. I think it’s reached a point for me where I’ve just become so disengaged from her and everything feels kinda stale, not that it’s anyone’s fault cause it’s not, like I’m not really breaking new ground with headcanons or any particular direction that I wanted to take with, to the point where I don’t enjoy roleplaying her anymore. 

So after roughly 5 years, I’m stopping. I can’t say if it’ll be forever or what, but for now it feels like the right thing to do. I’ve made some great friends and some great memories along the way.

If you’d like to stay in contact, I do have another FF roleplay blog that I run (which I’ve advertised on here). Alternatively, I do have a discord and a personal blog if anyone would like them. 

When you know they’re wrong/making a huge mistake and know that trying to talk them out of it is pointless.

I love these brosephs.

   “Maybe it won’t take as long as you might think,” Rocking into the warrior’s shoulder with lips drawn into a sideways grin. “It wasn’t all that long ago that I joined you guys—I remember feeling the same way as you do now.”

   Somehow their lives had managed to intertwine so tightly; each with their own share of painful pasts and uncertain futures. Maybe that’s why they’d grown so close to one another—came to depend on each other…even now…with all of that behind them. It’s what she wanted to believe when looking ahead; all of the tomorrows still yet to be had. Now all that was left was to convince her friend. Adjustments were never easy and she was sure, in time, they would look back on tonight and laugh—find it silly that it was ever a question or a bother.

   “Believe it or not, I was worried you wouldn’t like me,” Resting her chin in her hand while stifling an airy laugh. “When we first met, all the way up to when things started going wrong; I know how you feel about me now, but, back then? I wasn’t so sure…”

   Staring out at the starts speckled against a pitch black sky, watching as the moon cast a silvery glow atop the darkened ocean, she let a sigh escape along the sea breeze. Sometimes people tended to forget—things that may have seemed so minor; the title of High Summoner didn’t change who she was, and still very much is: a young woman of nineteen…trying to find her place in the world among the rest. With fears, doubts and insecurities just like everyone else.

   “And look at us now: sneaking away in the middle of the night…sharing our secrets and discussing the future. If I had to guess what it would be like to have siblings, I’d imagine it’d look a little something like this—the way the three of us are together and apart.”

Paine rocked back, a small smile on her lips at Yuna’s optimism. “At least one of us thinks so.” She was fully aware that she wasn’t the fastest person to warm up to. “We’re two very different people, Yuna. Plus the circumstances were different.” There would always be a niggle of doubt in there. She wondered if they’d become this closely connected if she hadn’t joined the Gullwings when she had. But now, things were different. Yuna had left, she was probably going to leave as well. She wouldn’t be thrust into situations where she’d be forced to work with people she didn’t know that often. 

“Oh, I didn’t for a while. I thought you were just as annoying as Rikku was.” She teased. While her expression was deadly serious, there was a twinkle of amusement in her eyes. “Truthfully, I was slightly nervous. You were, are, the High Summoner. I thought your reputation would proceed you.” Not only was she around people she barely knew back then, but working with the High Summoner was something else entirely. She would’ve had to have been living under a rock to not know who Yuna was. She had also been dealing with a few issues, so that had made her feel a little more reserved.

As they lulled into a small silence, Paine ran a gloved hand through the right side of her hair. The breeze seemed to dance over her skin. It was a nice feeling. Not too many places in Spira had such a feeling for her these days.

A lighthearted scoff left her. “I forget you don’t have siblings. Rikku always seemed like a sister to you.” Paine didn’t have any siblings either, so she wasn’t sure if there was a comparison. For her though, this was less like a sibling feeling but more like a close friend one. “I’m glad you think so. I was thinking this what having close friends feels like.” She chuckled. She wondered what Rikku thought about all this too.

pxine:

He supposed that it would be jarring for something that was supposed to be long gone to appear again. In any case, her skepticism and reaction to his name wasn’t something strange to him, even though he would gladly tell her just why it was he wasn’t sleeping like the rest of his fayth brethren.

“Whatever god reigns over this world gave us a chance to wander if we wished. For someone like me, who gave himself up to be a fayth as a young child, I wanted the chance to be free again. While I can do all that I could when I was bound to Yuna initially, and when I was regrettably not myself, it is likely not something you will see unless I am threatened.” He had no want to turn some creature into ash, and even less to fight any of the admittedly large creatures that seemed to think that they were invincible. It seemed to be too much to ask for to live his second life in peace sometimes…

“Does it bother you? That we were allowed another chance if we wished it? That those of us that were forced to fight you were given some amount of mercy?”

She nearly scoffed. God? What God. The one that’d had previously seemed to be a shame and even before that he didn’t seem to be much of benevolent one anyway. “Whatever God you’re talking about seems to have a warped sense of humour then.” But at least the guy had a second chance at life. He had been nothing but a child when he was turned into a fayth and spending hundreds of years as an aeon couldn’t have been fun. 

Much less getting everything cranked up 10 when Shuyin screwed with the Farplane...

She couldn’t blame him for wanting a second chance, an attempt at a normal life. But they had sacrificed themselves to become fayth in the first place. There was an inkling in the back of her mind that asked if it was forced into it or not. But that wasn’t the point here.

“Not exactly.” She figured that since they’d had the chance to rest, they’d be able to. “It seems odd that you’d be brought back when you were finally given a chance to rest.” Her arms folded over her chest while she spoke and her explanation was ended with a shrug. She couldn’t speak for all the fayth, but if it was her in their position? She would’ve stayed in the Farplane. “And considering the first and only time I saw you, you tried to kill me and my friends, so forgive me if I’m a bit wary.”

“If I dare to say it, will you leave me?” She said, in all seriousness. Not as if the situation was joking at all but it was to see if the other would bite.

“Fine, the camera stays.” This time. The device was removed from around her neck, placed back in its bag and tucked away nice and safely. “Just as long as I don’t end up drowned in a river with a bag over my head.” Her tone was obviously sarcastic, but there was a glimmer of truth in there. She would have to trust the woman to keep her safe. 

   “Well, yes, but everyone else, too.” Moving to sit along one of the dunes. Her feet dug themselves into the sand and arms wrapped around her knees, staring up at Paine. “Like yourself, or the guys. There are so many people I want him to meet—people that have come to mean so much to me.”

   There was a hint of laughter as she spoke; a piece of her want to keep him to herself, but she knew that wasn’t likely as well as selfish. Once they were settled and comfortable, there was no doubt in her mind he’d want to venture beyond Besaid and see how Spira had changed—and she wanted to show him. After all…he helped shape it into what it’d become. And it would be different from the last time; with no threats looming over them, no Sin and the world safe, they would be able to find so much joy in it.

   But then came her friends expressions of understanding after so much unknown to her. Professing as much with an apology that she hadn’t needed to speak. If anything, it was she who needed to apologize for keeping something so important hidden away; even more so after prying into Paine’s history and secrets.

   “I…should have told you sooner. That’s more my fault than Rikku’s—I suppose she was just trying to protect me,” Shoulders gently shrugging as lips curved into an apologetic smile. “We did the best we could in the time that we had, you know? And it hurt—not just myself—but those closest to him. I’m just glad we’re all together again.”

   That went for Paine, too! It just wouldn’t feel the same if she hadn’t been present. In fact…she wasn’t sure she could picture their lives in a world where they didn’t know each other. The warrior was a staple of everyday life—had been for what felt like an eternity—and anything short of that was unacceptable to her.

   “You’re a part of that, too, now. You…know that, right?”

Paine was tempted to go and sit beside her friend but only managed to walk to her side and stand there. Her gaze drifted out towards the sea again. There was something so calming about the waves drifting in and out. “That...makes sense.” She said hesitantly. She knew that made sense, but there was still a part of her that was wary. If he disappeared once, how little would it take for him to disappear again? She didn’t want her friend to go through the same heartbreak. She couldn’t bare to ask though. Perhaps that was a question for Rikku. 

It was at Yuna’s apology that Paine finally found it necessary to sit down next to her. One leg bent up at the knee, the other stretched out in front of her. “It’s not Rikku’s fault.” She didn’t blame either of them for not telling her much about it. It was no-one’s fault. “It’s not her choice to share it.” Just like it wasn’t anyone elses. It had had to come from Yuna. Paine could understand why the blonde had resisted to tell her that much. They had all lost someone close to them, Yuna included. It couldn’t have been easy to talk about it. 

Then again, the only two people that could’ve told her about it was Yuna or Rikku. Paine had only a handful of run-ins with the High Summoner’s other guardians, so it didn’t feel fair to expect them to shed any light on the situation. Not that she had figured to ask either. 

“I know.” Her tone was almost solemn. It still felt a bit strange though. There had been times throughout the week just past that she felt like an outsider. Like someone watching an intimate reunion that wasn’t meant for her eyes. While the others had been welcoming and accepting of her, she felt like there was something missing. It was the closeness. It had been like the bond that she had shared with Nooj, Gippal and Baralai had once had and that the Gullwings shared. She didn’t feel like she had that with Yuna’s other ex-guardians. 

Her lips pressed together as she formulated the right words. “It’s going to take a bit of getting used to, that’s all.” A shrug fell from her shoulders as she glanced over at her friend.