Ahahaha

“Do I look like I eat bugs?!”

I love this frog so much I drew a comic of it.

biggest betrayal is when it’s supposed to thunderstorm and it doesn’t

dancing bees young and sweet only seven bees

Translation: “I am fucking tired of the soviet car industry” *the standard effect of touching a soviet car* *laughs in russian*

I can’t get over the sheer poetry of how the car falls apart - the perfect chain reaction escalating as it travels round.

ok this is important to me. gaslighting is not a synonym for lying. it’s a type of lying. if someone says to you “the sky is green,” that’s a lie. if you say “the sky is blue” and they respond “no, it’s green, you’re wrong, your eyes are playing tricks on you” THAT’S gaslighting. the crucial requirement is that they try to convince you not only that you are wrong but that you shouldn’t trust your own senses. that you’re imagining something/hallucinating/dreaming. the abuser is trying to make themselves more of an authority on reality than your own mind, often with the goal of making you reliant on them to tell you “truth” from “fiction.”

Are you an “I’ll just wake up early and finish it in the morning” person or an “I’ll stay up until I finish it then go to sleep” person?

I’m a “if it’s not done by 10 pm then it wasn’t meant to be” person

I should be singing sea shanties somewhere with the lads.

me tomorrow

me today

Don’t forgot you are part American

By being human

So you technically hate part of yourself

Maybe you should look for a therapist

im polish

This is the funniest fucking conversation on this site

me, twirling my hair around one finger and giggling: bloodletting? to rebalance the humors? omg that’s cool. and then what happens? oh wow your beak is so big…..

[Image description: A screenshot of a tweet by THE GENTLEMAN / @Mature_Gambino written in black text on a white background. The tweet reads:

‘My mum said something. “You can lie down for people to walk on you and they will still complain that you’re not flat enough” Live your life’

Below that, in small grey text, is the timestamp: “12/25/16, 2:40 PM”

End ID.]

*puts a picture of a kitten on my resume*

me: i hope that this can persuade you in my favor

me: *winks with both eyes*

I love the generational gap between emoji usage. Anyone over 50 sees 🙃 and thinks "silly time! whee 🙃", whereas the rest of us immediately hear, verbatim, "they ask you how you are, and you just have to say that you're fine, when you're not really fine, but you just can't get into it because they would ne--"

kinda funny when english teachers say stuff like “i can tell if you didnt read the book” or “i can tell when people bs their paper”

no you cant.  you can tell when people are bad at bs-ing their paper.  i didnt even read the sparknotes and i barely skimmed the wikipedia and you gave me an A.  you kneel before my throne unaware that it was born of lies

i want men to be able to emotionally connect with people they don’t plan on having sex with. i want men to stop assuming i am planning on having sex with them because i make an effort to engage with them emotionally. i want men to stop feeling personally betrayed by the fact that i engage deeply & genuinely with people regardless of whether i desire them sexually, because i value people & seek to understand & connect with them regardless of sexual attraction

i can’t imagine how lonely it must be to reserve meaningful connection for prospective sexual partners

to only know your own vulnerability as bait

peeling a clementine is so easy. it comes so naturally. its inviting… the clementine WANTS to be peeled. its melancholic, sanguine… but an orange? whats an orange but a nuisance… the orange torments and mocks with its brute strength. it exists only to create chaos. next time you decide to indulge in a citrus delight, heed my word. choose the clementine