I'm having another Thought and you guys are my only way to collect data SO:
having heartburn so frequently that my dr decided to medicate me for it has a silver lining in that now when i forget to take my depression meds i get a reminder in the form of acid eating my esophagus because I take them at the same time
i don't know who needs to hear this, but guilt, self-hatred and shame are not sustainable sources of growth and healing. you can't hate yourself into feeling better, or being better. you can't repeatedly punish yourself for your flawed humanity and expect wholesome results.
happy birthday to a decade-old meme.
happy 12th birthday none pizza with left beef
happy sweet 16 to none pizza with left beef
reblog or reply with your love song. you know, the one that you think is what love sounds like
Some sketches/studies from the last few weeks :) all refs from unsplash (lighthouse is personal photo). Water based marker(ohuhu maui), acrylic marker, probably some ballpoint pen.
did you actually dissect a frog in school?
yes (usamerican)
yes (non-usamerican)
no (usamerican)
no (non-usamerican)
Please tell me in the tags who's in the pfps and what you picked! If it's the same person/character think of one as a clone. What would they do to themselves?
Ive done a lot of work to repair my relationship w art in the last year but one of the most helpful things so far ngl was getting markers in pretty colors :)
I see people recommend drawing in pen all the time and the reasons are the usual: builds confidence, makes you live with your mistakes
But that always sounds stressful to me?
What I've found working w permanent mediums recently is the removal of stress because I CAN'T be a perfectionist. I fuck up and just go "oh well cant do anything abt that" and keep going lol. Theres no way for me to be like "i could make this better" and redo it. So im not constantly judging myself. It actually takes pressure OFF bc im just like fuck it whatever lmao
I need to remember that mindset when I do digital, where I can ALWAYS fix things, so I feel obligated to. I feel shame if I dont.
Realizing that ive spent a decade and a half in SHAME of my art and how damaging that was for me???
Like. Shame that I wasnt better because I wasnt practicing. Shame that I wasnt practicing the right things. That I wasnt studying bc I didnt like it. That I wasnt doing enough. For everything I havent buckled down and learned yet. The constant reminder that I could be better than I am and its my fault that Im not. Shame that I am boring people. Shame that people can see my weaknesses and know I'm not working asq hard to get better as I could be. Shame that Im not drawing and studying like Im trying to become a concept artist for a triple A game studio.
And like? What did that achieve? Not much. Just the shame.
Fuck the shame. I want art to be fun. I want to express myself and my love for the subjects I choose. I want to play. I want to explore. I want to remove expectations. I want to do it for me. I want it to enrich MY life. Healing will take time, but Im getting better at killing that useless shame. Art is inherent to humanity. I dont owe anyone improvement. I am good enough to enjoy myself.
Ive done a lot of work to repair my relationship w art in the last year but one of the most helpful things so far ngl was getting markers in pretty colors :)
I see people recommend drawing in pen all the time and the reasons are the usual: builds confidence, makes you live with your mistakes
But that always sounds stressful to me?
What I've found working w permanent mediums recently is the removal of stress because I CAN'T be a perfectionist. I fuck up and just go "oh well cant do anything abt that" and keep going lol. Theres no way for me to be like "i could make this better" and redo it. So im not constantly judging myself. It actually takes pressure OFF bc im just like fuck it whatever lmao
I need to remember that mindset when I do digital, where I can ALWAYS fix things, so I feel obligated to. I feel shame if I dont.
Ive done a lot of work to repair my relationship w art in the last year but one of the most helpful things so far ngl was getting markers in pretty colors :)
Blue Eye Samurai memes lol
i know this isn't my usual content but i'm getting severe brain rot and will die if i don't share my content
cereal tastes better at night because the veil is thin
tumblr posts with these two give me life inspired by @carrot-love-to-be-indecisive post
who can relate