• “Betrayed by my own butt yet again.”
• “Can you explain memes to me?”
• “Contrary to popular belief, penguins are… birds.”
• “Did you think I was gonna stab you just now?”
• “Don’t cry. Don’t cry. I swear to god if you cry again.”
• “Don’t write checks your dick can’t cash.”
• “Here’s to bad decisions and relaxed moral values.”
• “How’s the…… jeeeeeeeeeesus?”
• “I am a happy little cheese monster.”
• “I am spinning a web of lies that I fear will one day consume me.”
• “I don’t want your stupid fruit leather.”
• “I have to get a solid two to three hours of brooding in per day. Filling quotas.”
• “It’s called ‘string cheese’ and not ‘chompy cheese’ for a reason.”
• “I’ll probably end up standing uncomfortably in the corner with a plate of food and hope that nobody talks to me.”
• “I’m so many levels of irony deep I’ve forgotten what humour is.”
• “I’m suddenly struck with the overwhelming need to crawl back into bed.”
• “Mothman is bullshit.”
• “My ultimate sexual fantasy is sleeping in on a Saturday.”
• “OH SHIT THAT’S A KNIFE.”
• “See you in class… bitch.”
• “Sharks are tight.”
• “So, you ever kill a man?”
• “Stop being so desperate to please your hot friend.”
• “That… that is a good butt.”
• “The key to being cool is acting like you don’t care about anything but actually care very deeply about everything to the point where it’s debilitating.”
• “This ice cream cake is my new boyfriend.”
• “This is where I come to masturbate.”
• “Wait, I’m a wreck.”
• “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE.”
• “You can never be too careful. See that baby in that stroller over there? Government operative.”
• “Your face… is… good.”
• “Your unending thirst will be your ultimate downfall.”

sometimes  i’d  settle  for  just  ordinary.          do  you  like  witches ?    what  about  girls  that  can  take  on  an  original  vampire ?    and  win.    how  about  a  strong ,  independent  black  woman ?    if  you  answered  yes  to  any  of  these  questions ,  then  this  blog  is  just  for  you !    say  hello  to  the  underappreciated  witch™  of  mystic  falls ,    bonnie  bennett ,   also  known  as ,  the  baddest  bennett  of  all  time.    so ,  if  you’re  interested  in  interacting ,  give  this  post      a  like  or  reblog  !    adapted  by  mel.

as requested by anon

• ❝That’s what I do: I drink and I know things.❞ 
• ❝This is not the day I die.❞
• ❝I wish I was the monster you think I am.❞
• ❝It doesn’t matter what we want, once we get it then we want something else.❞
• ❝If you think this has a happy ending, you haven’t been paying attention.❞
• ❝The more people you love, the weaker you are.❞
• ❝I’M GONNA HAVE TO EAT EVERY FUCKING CHICKEN IN THIS ROOM.❞
• ❝He always comes back!❞
• ❝If you ever call me sister again, I’ll have you strangled in your sleep.❞
• ❝There is only one god, and his name is Death.❞
• ❝Can a man still be brave when he’s afraid?❞
• ❝The next time you raise a hand to me will be the last time you have hands!❞
• ❝Nothing isn’t better or worse than anything. Nothing is just nothing.❞
• ❝Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.❞
• ❝Of all the ways I’d kill you, poison would be the last.❞
• ❝Oh no please, seduce away. It’s been so long.❞
• ❝Someday I’m gonna put a sword through your eye and out the back of your skull.❞
• ❝Your joy will turn to ashes in your mouth.❞
• ❝There’s no cure for being a cunt.❞
• ❝The things I do for love…❞
• ❝It’s not easy being drunk all the time. If it were easy, everyone would do it.❞
• ❝I learned how to die a long time ago.❞
• ❝We go forward. Only forward.❞
• ❝A lion doesn’t concern itself with the opinion of sheep.❞
• ❝Tears aren’t a woman’s only weapon. The best one is between your legs.❞
• ❝There are no men like me. There’s only me.❞